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_Disney Points No Movies Just Points 50 Cents Each _
avangers end game dvd 100 points
captain marvel dvd 100 points

Continuing…
That being handled, I leave a wakeup call for 0430 as I want a shower and a couple shower-sunrisers before we leave. It takes me about 10 minutes to pack. I call home to let Es know what’s going on. She’s not in, so I leave a message. Same for my friends Rack and Ruin of the Agency. They’re thrilled so far with my reports.
The security forces here are absolutely going to freak if they reverse-review my phone records once we leave.
Covert? Schmovert. I’m too old for playing such games.
The next morning, after a sudsy shower and a couple of vodka-infused shower-beers; I’m in the lobby with all my kit, checked-out, and waiting on the tour leader. My passport was stamp-stamp-stampity-stamped here at the hotel, which I thought was weird, but after spending time in this here country, not all that unusual.
At 0545 on the dime, the tour bus pulls into the lot. Without a word, bellhops grab near all my kit and escort it out to the waiting bus.
After tipping each extravagantly, I fire up a huge cigar, and wander around outside, loitering by the bus. I see members of my team at the front desk, checking out. Everything’s been paid for already, they just have to sign documents that they’re not secreting hotel towels or televisions or errant nationals in their luggage.
It’s a weird country.
I see them loading box breakfasts for us as well as box lunches on the bus.
Hell, they’re actually doing ‘field trip’ correctly.
If the bus us fueled up, we can go for days at this rate. There are several coolers bearing the hotel’s brand and I sidle over to see what they’re carrying.
Case after case of iced-down beer and a couple of cases of various high-octane potables; and over there? A couple of boxes of mixers…ah, soda…pop…carbonated citrusy goodness.
“OK”, I sigh, “All is as it should be. Now the field excursion may begin.”
My teammates filter outside as does their luggage. I suggest they get out and keep what is necessary for preliminary outcrop excursions; such as a backpack or knapsack, hammer, acid bottles, field notebooks, Brunton compass, lighters, cameras, personal tobacco products, and the like in the bus. That way, we don’t have to go tearing through all the luggage at every stop.
I pull out a bundle of 100 Hubco™ large geological dual-sample bags. That’s right: ‘dual’ sample…
I distribute these to everyone on the team. I ask that they devise their own numbering system and make absolutely certain I have a copy of it when we’re done. I’ll be correlating and curating all the samples when we get back to the world.
I ask that a cooler of drinks are left on board the bus, rather than in the hold. It’s humid, sticky, and muggy today. We must expend valiant effort in remaining hydrated and this will help.
Luckily, the bus has on-board lavatory facilities.
We are seated on the bus, my 10 collective team members, myself, our 4 ‘guides’, ‘Yuk’, ‘No’, ‘Man’, and ‘Kong’; our driver, relief driver, one incredibly shy national geologist, Myung-Dae Soo, and four of the shiny suit clan.
The hotel wheels out a large cart laden with pastries and a huge coffee urn. A bit of a “Bon Voyage” from the casino and bar crowd, as they put this together for us when they heard we were leaving.
“Hey. That’s really nice of them.” Dax notes.
Dax handed over our raw “elevator waiting” funds as we didn’t have time to run it through the casino-machine before we left. We donated over 75,000 won to our friends at the bar, casino, and massage parlor. The ones delivering our going away present assured us it would be divided equitably.
“It best be”, I laughed, “You never know when one of us might be back!”
There was a collective horrified look on their faces for the merest moments. Then they all laughed and said that they hoped we would return someday soon.
“Nice folks”, I thought, “Stupid as shit country, but nice folks.”
We had all separately left tips for the room maids, bellmen, and matrons back before we checked-out.
There was a flurry of handshaking and goodbyes. Not a bad hotel experience here in the so-called land of Best Korea.
Serious dark coffee was passed out amongst the riders, but Ivan, myself, and Dax were already giving one of my emergency flasks a workout.
Ivan smiled and said: “We drink our coffee the Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterward. HA!”
Ivan and I are cut from the same bolt.
Faux-doughnuts, pseudo-bear claws and fake-long johns all distributed; the bus is fired up, and rumbling. We are exhorted to watch our drinks as we pull away from the hotel and into the wilds of Northern Korea.
I’m humming away:

On the road again -Just can't wait to get on the road again,
The life I love is bashing rocks in the field with my friends.
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again.
Goin' places that we've never been,
Seein' things that we may never see again…
--
“Rock?”, Dax inquires.
“Yes?” I reply.
“Do please shut up.”
“Music hater”, I muse and comply.
We’re rolling down the highway, as it were, headed generally north. We all have cameras of one kind or another; and rather than relieve us of them, they quietly and without much fuss, slowly darken the windows.
They claim it’s to keep the sun out and temperatures down, but just before things go all black, we’re seeing sights and scenes of the true North Korea. They’re trying to keep us from seeing that en route to the outcrops.
This new bus has some sort of electronic tint-control gizmo for the windows. However, if one has a pair of polarizing sunglasses, as all good field geologists do, you see right past that and can view the passing scenery unencumbered.
I return from a quick beer-recycling loo trip and am amused to see 10 Western scientists, sitting in a blacked-out bus, all wearing polarizing sunglasses.
It was just the surreal note this trip needed as we left the confines of the capital city.
We traveled north, and the empties pile began to grow. We had a few trash bags we had liberated from the hotel, but the shiny suits were very insistent that every empty can, bottle, and bag, yes they had beer in bags…had to be repatriated to a box in the far back of the bus.
Evidently, they either were paid a bounty on each container or were accountable for each vessel. They were soon to realize just the capacity for drink that a group of 11 seasoned very Senior Field Geologists, and one stowaway geologist-in-training can amass.
As we ply our way northward, we see the agricultural side of North Korea. The contrast between rural areas and the capital was striking. There were miles of rice paddies being harvested by people with sickles in their hands. And no cars on the highway. It was most destabilizing for this Westerner.
I think we saw a maximum of three tractors, as most of the work was done with ox power, there was very little evidence of rural electrification. Oh, hold on. We saw many more tractors, I should correct that: we saw three running and not rusted into oblivion tractors.
The farmers we see are using equipment that is quite literally medieval - single-share plows pulled by large, cranky bovines; sweeping sickles to bring in the harvest, and twin-engine, bilateral, botanical-fired ox-carts to transport it. It’s hard to believe that this third-world level of poverty exists in the same country that’s capable of building rockets, nuclear weapons, and tall, well-appointed hotels.
But when we stop at a motorway service station for fuel - a bizarre alien spaceship-like building squatting over the empty carriageways - we do encounter a jangmadang, or semi-official market. Here they are selling cans of knock-off Vietnamese Red Bull and Malaysian-made King Cobra™ Cola.
It reminds me of Russia right after the wall fell. Off the Trans-Siberian Railway in Krasnoyarsk, the Gateway to Eastern Siberia. You can buy Chinese hams, Chinese sodas, Chinese knock-off liquor, and those bloody delicious little bullets of Vitamin-C, Chinese mandarins.
Here, it’s similar. You can get most anything you desire, except it isn’t of Korean manufacture. That stuff is even too shitty to pawn off on tourists.
Instead, it’s knock-off Malaysian, Chinese, or Indonesian beer, wine, or soft drinks.
“Tiger-brand energy drink. Now with 40% more real tiger.” Here? I believe them.
Vodka from everywhere not known for its vodka distilling prowess. Rural hotel shops sell nastily stale crisps, gummy gummies, filling-ripping ‘chewy’ taffy or caramel, and biscuits with a severely limited choice. Rural hotels do not have full electricity so beer is warm and often tossed on the table, waiting for tourists to arrive - as is the food. We were warned to be prepared for cold rice, cold fish, cold potato – and plenty of kimchi and tofu.
Back on the road again, we’re passing small burgs that are not on any of our maps; even the ones we traded for back in the hotel that are specially marked: “For Internal Use ONLY!”.
They were amazingly the same. Clean. Bright. Uncluttered. And attended by cadres of prim, uniform-clad, though non-military people. They were all doing a day’s work keeping everything neat and clean.
There were no cars, trucks, forklifts…only rickshaws and ox-carts. However every one of these ‘towns’ were identical, and exactly, as Ivan pointed out, ‘X’ number of minutes apart.
“Watch! Is so!”, Ivan said. We passed one of these villages, and exactly 3 minutes later, an exact copy. Three minutes later? Another one. 3 more minutes? Xerox-city.
“What the fuck?” Dax asked.
“Potemkin village.” Comrade Dr. Academician Ivan replied.
A Potemkin village is any construction, literal or figurative, whose sole purpose is to provide an external façade to a country which is faring poorly. It is for making people believe that the country is faring better, although statistics and data would suggest otherwise.
“Russia pioneered the process,” Ivan noted with no small amount of pride. “During Cold War with West, entire cities were built, moved, raised, and razed. Ever hear of Krasnoyarsk-25? Atomic Research City? Supposed place of weapons study and manufacture. Huge ‘accident’. Entire city demolished, total populace relocated supposedly, after massive nuclear calamity.”
“Is that true? Cliff asks.
“No. Not at all.” Ivan smiles, “Deliberate misinformation. At least for K-25. It was diversion for actual towns where accidents; nuclear, biological, or worse, had happened. West so concerned about K-25 because it was big, near big capital city of Krasnoyarsk and suitably located out in the taiga. Easy to spot, easy to watch. Kept Western satellites busy while real towns of I-33, U-10, and AR-13 out in the forest were quietly demolished and people relocated or mass buried after some horrible, horrible accidents...”
“You think it’s the same here?” I asked Ivan.
“No, Dr. Rock”, Ivan smiled, and helped himself to my freshly constructed, but untouched, Yorshch, “This is all fake and bluster. Make West think everything is all A-OK, is that right idiom?”
“Yep.” I reply, “Precisely.”
“Make West believe all is OK and green”, as he winks at me, “And bustling and growing. Cover up what is real case here. We all see it and we see right through. Shoddy even for Asians.”
We all had to snicker and smirk as the shiny suit squad, who sat up at the front of the bus, and were not supposed to be listening; reacted like every cell in their bodies were just hit with a drop of pure lemon juice.
“Comrade Dr. Academician. Decorum, please.” I snickered.
“Oh, fuck them!”, Ivan replied, “I am old Russian. They try and pull burlap over my eyes? St. Petersburg? Moscow? Krasnoyarsk.? I’ve been there, seen them. They think this display of tawdriness…Even goofy American and Canadian can see the fakes they are. Britisher? I’m not so sure…”
“Damn, Doctor., I said to Ivan, “You’re just making friends all over the planet today.”
We all knew it was in jest; but the shiny suit squad certainly had their feathers ruffled and either didn’t care or wanted us to know we were under their observation.
“Fuck them twice”, Ivan said, “Ask them for bottle opener. I’m too lazy to search for my field jackknife.”
I hand him my pocket Leatherman and he pries the top of another bottle of ‘Budveiser’ beer.
“They can’t even make fake the name correctly”, he smirks and drains the bottle.
‘Town’ after ‘town’ and even that parade gets uninteresting. We’re headed north and finally come to a crossroads.
The bus driver, who must be a regular paranoid-maniac because he actually stopped to look for oncoming traffic, which we have seen precisely none since leaving the capital city, made a hard right. We’re heading back and up into the hills, leaving the bright lights of the big city far behind.
After an hour or so of driving, we pull off to the left-hand side of the road.
“Rock, Ivan, Cliff…holy shit, look at this!” Dax was uncharacteristically excited.
It was an open field that leads to a series of low outcrops of polychromatic, obviously sedimentary rocks. Magentas, greens, purples, rust-reds, browns, blacks, olive greens…holy shit. A real sedimentary pile.
We filed out of the bus with our field gear. The shiny suit squad started in with a bullhorn.
“You will wait for tour guides!”
“You will listen to group leaders!”
“You will not stray from the designated paths set up…”
No one heard them as the group of 11 remaining Western geoscientists were already across the highway and hieing for the exposures like outcrop-seeking multiple-warhead re-entry vehicles.
“You must wait!” we heard from exasperated voices back at the bus. “You must stop!”
“You must piss off!” Cliff said, “This is what we’ve been waiting over two weeks to see!”
“They are very angry with us”, Myung-dae the young Korean geologist said. “I find that just too bad.”
“And you are?” I asked.
Myung-dae Soo, the young Korean geologist, introduced himself.
“Well”, I said, “Welcome aboard. I’m Dr. Rock.”
“They are very, very angry”, he repeats.
“So? Are you tagging along to give them internal reports?” I asked.
“No, Doctor”, he replied, “I too am a geologist. I want to get away from those assholes and see some real rocks.”
“Who are you with?” I ask, “What group?”
“I am 5th-year student at Pyongyang College. I am not officially here. We were told in class that you were coming. I decided to see if I could join you. This morning, I was standing by bus and they thought I was hotel worker or orderly. I was given cooler full of beer and told to find place for it on the bus. I did and after that, just stayed in the back. I am stowaway. I am ashamed, but I had to see for myself. But, I like Western field trips so far!”
“No shit? Well, then”, I said, “Double welcome aboard. None of this ‘I am ashamed’ shit. You’re a geologist, but you haven’t even worked through your first field-evening get-together with us. But this is no pleasure cruise. It’s real work, real geology, real serious science shit. You savvy?”
“Yes, sir, Doctor Rocknocker from Sultanate in the Middle East.” Myung-dae smiled.
“And you fucking stay close to me”, I smirked.
I fired a couple of BLAAATS! from my portable air horn.
“Field Meeting! Field Meeting! Assholes & Elbows!” I called aloud.
Everyone gathered within earshot.
“OK, guys, here’s the deal. We do not know how long we’ve got here. So, let’s split up into teams. Geophysicists, go do your structural thing. Stratigraphers? Field relations. Geologists? Let’s go talk to some ronery-rooking-rocks. No offense, Mr. Myung.”
Myung-dae was laughing up a storm. He got that reference. He later told us all around the campfire he thought ‘Team America’ was a “fucking hilarious movie.”
Oh, we are going to be a real bad influence on this poor kid.
The groups spontaneously broke up into 4 or 5 sub-groups. They headed for areas they thought were important and they were photographing, measuring, pounding on rocks, and arguing within minutes.
“No, you idiot! It’s continental. Look at those adhesion ripples.”
“The fuck you know. It’s only a little low-level eggbeater tectonics. Where the fuck would you get continental collision-size energy around here?”
“Oh, the fuck you say. It’s non-marine. Those are mud cracks. Look at the sandy aeolian infill, fer chrissake.”
Formal? Proper? Detached Doctors of Geology?
Not when you’re in the field. It all goes out the window when different opinions collide like subducting plates.
“The music of my people!” I said to Morse.
“I thought that was the ‘Safety Dance’?” he chided.
“We’re a big family. We can have more than one.” I snickered.
We’re wandering around the site, with individual purpose.
We are looking for or looking at items of interest.
We’re hacking at the outcrops.
We’re all looking at…things.
It’s hard to describe. Get a load of geologists or geology students out of the office, lab, or classroom; stick them out on a bare expanse of heavily weathered rock and it’s simply…numinous.
We’re rebuilding worlds here.
This rock says this.
This rock says that.
And you’re not fluent in that dialect. Here, let me interpret for you…
We’re at each other’s throats, in the academic-metaphorical sense. Tempers have been known to run hot. There has been the occasional bloody nose or rocks sailing down an outcrop without the obligate “HEADACHE!” call. Hammers and Marsh Picks have ended up swimming without the owner’s knowledge.
But once we’re back; settled in the hotel room, tavern, or around the campfire, we’re all a Band of Brothers again. It’s an odd thing to watch; as if you’re not of the clan, you’d need an interpreter. It defies all boundaries: political, sexual, educational, geographical, linguistic, social, et cetera.
We’re all geologists first. We share the common scientific bond of Geology.
That’s why Geology is the First Science.
Plus we tend to drink a serious fucking whole bloody awful lot.
We’ve all been on that ‘crawlin’ home puker’.
We’ve also been to the ends of the earth: the deepest depths, the highest heights, we deal with the greatest pressures, the hottest temperatures; we’ve been to the mountain, we’ve seen the elephant, and we’ve held a bear’s nose to dogshit.
We wear the scars attained in our travels like badges of honor.
We’re God-Damned Scientists.
Back off, man. Geologist comin’ through.
Anyways, I’m looking at the bedding-plane boundaries between the purple unit and the underlying olive-green unit. The upper unit it looks, to me, continental in origin. Fluvial, perhaps. The lower unit is much finer-grained. Marine mudstone, perhaps? But what age?
The cadged Korean Geological maps are worse than useless. They never would go down to the outcrop scale. Consulting them, they don’t even note these exposures in a field sense.
Myung-dae, who is working about 35 meters down-section from me calls out, “Doctors! Sirs! Look here! I’ve found something!”
We all wander over as he is hacking away at the dusty, eroded rock. He stands and dusts off his find.
It’s a very large, nearly 1-meter diameter, coiled fossil cephalopod.
I wander over for a closer look. Dax, Cliff, Morse, and Ivan do as well.
“Blimey! Will you look at that? Outstanding, Mr. Myung!” Cliff says.
“Well, that confirms it. This layer, at least, is marine. Look at that suture pattern”, I say, dusting off an unweathered bit.
“Look at the radius of coiling.”, Cliff joins in.
We’re slowly wresting information out of this silent witness.
“Ornamentation?”, Dr. Ivan asks. “Knobs, bosses, and excrutions?” Oh, yes.”
In unison, we declare: “Hyphoplites!”
Morse adds, “And therefore…these rocks are middle Cretaceous. Marine. Not bad…”
“Need to get some samples for geochemical analysis. Dig deep, gentlemen, we need unweathered samples for TOC (Total Organic Carbon) content.”, Dr. Erlen Meyer notes.
With that, we have a relative age of the rock, a good idea of its depositional environment, and therefore extent, ideas of field relationships, and an indication of some of its fauna.
Could it be source rock worthy?
Samples? Best get diggin’, Beaumont.
That unit is right smack in the middle of this pile of rocks. Dax and I will work up-section and Ivan and Cliff will work down-section. We’re going to see what lies above, what lies below, what trends we can discern, and develop an idea of what happened here some 100 million years ago.
This is what happens when you get geologists out in the field with the proper amounts of field gear, outcrops, and alcohol.
Overall, the deeper down-section, and therefore, earlier in geological time you go, the more marine the rocks are. Conversely, the higher you go in the column, i.e., up-section, into younger rocks, the more continental it appears.
We find fragments of marine fish fossils, sea-crocodile scutes and teeth, heaps of mosasaur coprolites, i.e., fossil shit piles, and other indications that the lower, older rocks are Lower Cretaceous ocean basin-fill.
But up higher; we find mud cracks, rain prints, land turtle shells, land-snails (Bellerophontid gastropods), and what may actually be a fossil feather. All indications of a more continental, i.e., fluvial (river), floodplain, lacustrine (lake), and paludal (swamp) deposition.
That’s my particular bailiwick.
I’m ‘elephant walking’ along the upper outcrops looking for fossils. You basically bend over at the waist and sweep from left to right as you take exaggerated step after step, scanning the ground looking for…well…it takes years, but once you see it, you never forget it.
“Fossil sign”.
A disjunct endemism. Something not in situ. Something out of place. A bit of a different, out of context color. Out of context texture. Out of context size. Out of context context.
Something that looks like it shouldn’t ought to be there.
I’m picking up 1 cm. square hunks of what look like an ordinary rock. I taste them. Well, I stick them to my tongue. If it liquefies and runs away, it’s ordinary mudstone, shale, or the like.
If it sticks…well, it might just be fossil bone.
“PTWTWOO!”
“Damn right, Rock”, Cliff says from behind me, “Fucking North Korea tastes terrible.”
“Still, it’s the best way I know to…” I paused.
“Got something?” Cliff asked.
“Look here.” I said, “Anthill. Big, nasty buggers. Look around the edges. Pieces of flat, cream-colored rock on this gaudy purple stuff. Tongue test? They stick like cockleburs. Let’s look upslope, see if there’s a drainage…”
There it was, a nice little drainage incised about 1.5 meters deep into the nearly horizontal rocks we were walking on.
“Any float?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Cliff said.
We followed the weak, little drainage that was cut into the outcrop, up another couple of meters.
There were very scrappy, very small, very scattered pieces of that same cream-colored rock. Some were ornamented with a scroll-work or some sort of striations. Most un-geological. More biological. We followed the trail, up here, around here, over there.
Cliff noticed it first, a soccer-ball sized lump of completely out-of-place crème-colored ‘rock’ working its way out by gradual erosion of the variegated pastels of the continental rocks upon which we were treading.
I got there first and began to clear the area with my Estwing.
“Careful. Careful”, Cliff admonished.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mind your Mincies. [Mince pies = eyes]”, as I’m swinging away at the reluctant, reticent, rocks.
The excavation grew, slowly. From the rounded dome, we could see small sutures that had developed…
Then condyles, fenestrae, then more ‘bone’. Then a jaw, teeth, vertebrae…
“HOLY DOUBLE-DAMN SHIT!” I tootled my air horn. We needed the group to see this.
It was a skull. A dinosaur skull. A small, non-avian dinosaur skull.
Everyone has crowded around and looked at the small quarry we had just built.
“Whatcha got, Rock? Cliff?” Joon asked.
“Fuck me, but I think we’ve got us a dinosaur skull,” I said.
Professor Doctor Academician Ivan walked over and cleared the area.
As Professor Emeritus, he had pole position priority.
“I agree.” is all he said.
I cleared the area and let others take a whack at opening up the quarry.
We may have been low on power tools, but we had a surfeit of opinions.
“OK,” I said, “Let’s look at the facts…”

1. Age? Cretaceous. Probably lower to lower-middle Cretaceous.
   
2. Continental deposits. That’s very fine sand we’re hacking away. Fluvial, without a doubt. Or, possibly aeolian; there’s no such thing as a geological certainty. Dunes? Ephemeral creeks? Low floodplain? Geo-talk… .
   
3. Small size. Potentially a juvenile?
   
4. Nope. Not a juvie. Sutures are closed, fused. This is, well was, an adult; perhaps a subadult, given its size.
   
5. In situ? In place? Or washed in?
   

Hard to tell when all you’ve exposed is half the critter’s brain box.
“Look at that!” Myung-dae exclaimed, “Squamosal bones and the inner parietals…temporal fenestrae. It had a frill; a small one.”
“OK,”, I said, looking closely at the exposed scrappy remains, “Fucking-A Bubba. Nailed it.” I said, giving him the thumbs up.
“Ceratopsian. Look at those greens-grinder molars. There’s some small osteoderms on the skull; knobby old bastard. Early critter.” I continued.
Others looked around and confirmed my observations.
“Reminds me of Protoceratops from when I was back in Mongolia,” I said.
Dax chimed in with, “Looks something like Psittacosaurus from back in the Cretaceous Belly River of Canada.”
Drs. Ivan and Morse agree. “Most assuredly. It is definitely proto-ceratopsian. Young adult, as Dr. Rock notes by the cranial sutures. Do they have a record of proto-ceratopsians here?”
Myung-dae replies, “I have read reports of Korean proto-ceratopsian found in South Korea. Not long ago, 2019, it is called…ah… Auroraceratops. It is a genus of bipedal basal neo-ceratopsian dinosaur.”
“Bipedal?” I query. “Well, there’s a fine how do you do. All the proto-ceratopsians I’ve known were obligate quadrupeds.”
“Well”, Ivan, Dax, Cliff, and Morse agree, “That should give the shiny suit squad something to report. That’ll keep them the hell out of our hair for a while.”
We photograph each step as we excavate the critter. It’s more or less in situ, buried where it fell. Probably killed by a sand slip off a dune, or a river sandbar slip and burial. It’s not complete, but we do have the skull and a good portion of the post-cranial elements to about just before the pelvis. A good pectoral girdle, skull, jaw, frill, forelimbs, forefeet…easily half-a cute little herbivorous dinosaur. About the size of a smallish Highland Coo or large Great Dane.
We flag it with the team particulars, it’s GPS position, and carefully rebury the animal. We don’t have any of the equipment nor time to excavate it properly, but we can conserve it. Of course, we’ll be informing the proper authorities of our discovery.
I have an absolutely ancient Polaroid instant camera. Before re-internment, I take several pictures of our “Koreasaurus”, as we’ve dubbed the animal, with items for scale; like a hammer, cigar, and oddly enough, a photographic scale. Then I get a photo of the whole crew standing around, drinking warm beers from their individual day packs, smiling about the find ‘they‘ made.
We hear the melodious tootle of the bus’s horns. We make sure to pack out all our trash and wander back to our terrestrial transport.
“You were gone too long!” the chief shiny suited character goes all ballistic on me.
“Watch yourself, Herr Mac.”, I calmly said, “You’re going to burn your nose on my cigar.”
“You left without your handlers…err…guides!” he fumed.
“Hey, Scooter. Cool out. We’re geologists. We never get lost.” I said.
It sometimes just takes us longer to get back than it took us to leave…
“Your impertinence will be reported.” He smoldered.
“Report this, Mother Chuckler”, I observed and held out the pictures of our newly discovered Koreasaurus.
“Show those photos to your handlers,” I said in a mocking tone. “We found a brand new species of God-damned dinosaur for you geezers. It took us less than two hours. You can spin it that it’s a new, never-before-seen species of very specialized dinosaur found right here in beautiful Korea del Norte. Be quite the scientific coup, don’t you think? Trust us. We won’t say anything.”
He immediately shut up and went into conference with the rest of the shiny suit squad.
“Doctor”, one of the clan covert asked, “This is a new dinosaur?”
I had a thunderbolt of an idea.
“Oh! Yes, it is. I’d stake my reputation on it. You’ve had no concerted search here for the beasts and well, with the normalizing of relations between your country and the world, it allowed your specialists to perform real science. In fact, on the bus is the young North Korean geoscientist who made the discovery.” I said. “Give me a minute. I’ll go and get him. I think he was off taking a shi…ah, using the lavatory. Just give me a minute.”
I did have an idea. A wonderful idea. A wonderfully evil idea.
Back on the bus, I ordered the doors closed.
“Gentlemen! Ears and eyes! Please.” I said loudly.
Continuing…
“The shiny suits have their knickers all a-twist because we don’t want to listen to them; the assholes. Fuck that. I’ve got an idea. Let’s make our young acolyte here, Mr. Myung-dae Soo, a national hero. He would probably get his ass in a crack for sneaking on board the Western bus today the way he did. Well, double fuck that. Let’s all say he found the dinosaur. Let him take the glory for the homeland. No one else will ever need to know.” I said smiling.
“Fuck Yeah! You bet! Замечательное! Ihmeellisiä! Maravilhoso! Geweldig!”
Good to know we’re all on the same page. Geologists. You can always count on them…
“Mr. Myung-dae Soo? Front and center. Time to go and become ‘Hero of Best Korea’.” I smiled.
He was absolutely terrified.
“Doctor…I …don't…wait…no…” he stammered.
Cliff, Dax, Ivan, and I trotted him out to confront the shiny suit squad.
“Don’t worry, Myung. We’ve got your back. Trust us.” I said in a low conspiratorial tone.
The shiny suit squad turned as one and gave Mr. Myung the Stink Eye treatment.
“Here you go. The man of the hour. Mr. Myung-Dae Soo, young geologist and up and coming paleontologist.” I say loudly and with the utmost honor.
They look at him and the Korean erupts in rapid-fire staccato bursts.
Cliff just wanders in and interjects, “Yes. Righto. Top form. Found the float. Tracked down that dino like he was on safari. Highest marks. Good man!”
Dax adds more fuel to the fire. “Like he knew where to go, knew where to look. He’s a natural.”
Dr. Academician Ivan blustered forth: “Excellent scholar. Excellent field man. Banner geologist.”
I couldn’t have added more. The shiny suit squad was gobsmacked.
I asked Myung-dae what they were saying.
“They were talking about reprisals. Reporting to authorities. Then, they stopped. You have them completely confounded.” He said.
“How so?” I asked, quietly.
“Between an international incident where we don’t listen to our handlers and this potential important scientific discovery.” Mr. Myung-dae reported, trying hard to parse the evolving situation.
“Yes”, I added to Ivan’s bluster.
To the shiny suits: “I’ve worked as visiting Dinosaurian Vertebrate Paleontology Curator at all the major American museums. This is a find quite unlike anything known. It is a watershed discovery. It will help unravel the evolution and distribution of the clan Dinosauria for the whole Korean Peninsula. Perhaps, even with international impact on the recent finds in China.”
I laid it on with a trowel.
I hit all the buzzwords.
“Yes. Yes, perhaps.”, the head shiny-suiter said. “I will report this bit of very good news to the proper authorities. Myung-dae, with us. We require more information.”
“Ah, we’d prefer him to ride in back with us if you don’t mind. Scientific courtesy, old man. He needs to be classically de-interviewed after such a find.” I insisted, making certain I stand as tall, wide, and menacing as possible while smiling like a damned Cheshire cat, one smoking a very large cigar.
“Very well. We are not far from our evening stop. We can talk later.” He agreed.
We all moseyed, laughing silently, back to the bus; literally supporting our young hero Mr. Myung-dae as he seemed to have gone all wobbly of late.
Myung-dae was ashen-white. He looked like he had just given birth to a basketball. He was visibly shaking.
We get on the bus and I whip up a stout Yorshch for the young hero of the hour.
“Here! This is for you. If you’re going to be a world-class geologist, you’d damn sure better start acting like one.” I smile broadly.
There were hoots, cheers, and cat-calls.
Beers were popped, bottles uncorked; cigars, cigarettes, and pipes lit.
“Damn Skippy!” some anonymous reveler added.
Myung-dae slurped a good half the drink. I offered him a cigar. He stopped shaking enough to accept the novel offer.
Remember “crawlin’ home puker”? He’s taken his first step into a larger world.
OK, just to recap. Here are the dramatis personae left on the bus…
Bus driver (Kim) and his relief (Won).
My team and I. That’s 11 Western geoscientists: Morse, Cliff, Volna, Ack, Viv, Graco, Erlen, Dr. Academician Ivan, Joon, Dax, and myself.
Then there are our guides: Yuk, No, Man, and Kong.
Our stowaway hero geologist-in-training: Myung-dae Soo, aka, “Mung”.
And the four members of the shiny suit clan: Pak, Mak, Tak, and Jak. At least, that’s the names we used when we addressed them.
The bus was rumbling down the deserted highway. We were headed more or less due east, passing the occasional Potemkin Village. They knew we cracked their code long ago, so they didn’t bother with darkening the windows any longer.
We are passing a series of highway road cut outcrops. We’re only going approximately 35 or 40 miles per hour. Suddenly, Morse jumps out of his seat and runs up to the driver.
“STOP! STOP! Back up! We almost missed it!” he barks in heavily Russian inflected English.
The driver, shaken to the core, just slams on the brakes. The bus grinds to a stop. Good thing there’s no traffic out here.
Or anywhere else, for that matter.
Jak of the suit clan jumps up and asks “What is the problem?”
“How could you miss that?” Morse shouts. “Huge fault. Mineralization. I saw that from a glimpse. We must return to investigate.”
“Is not possible. We have appointment at the hotel.” Jak replies.
“Fuck that!”, Morse shouts. I guess he’s just really into faults…
I wander up and try to defuse the situation.
“OK, guys, cool out. Let’s be reasonable. Do it our way. Go back to that road cut. We spend a half-hour there then we go on to the hotel. The hotel will still be there when we arrive, won’t it? Even if we’re a bit late?” I ask.
Jak looks to Pak, who converses with Mak and Tak. They know they’re outgunned.
The driver shifts the bus into reverse and we back down the luckily deserted highway over a mile to the outcrop in question.
We had to admit, it was a mother beautiful normal fault. In perfect, textbook cross-section.
Morse and Joon were on it like white on rice; given the mineralization along the fault plane. All sorts of implications for the thermal and geological history of the area. But with just one exposure like this, more or less just a real interesting geo-oddity.
We spent precisely 30 minutes at the exposure, and when our handlers requested we re-board and head to the motel, we complied like nice, normal sort of folks.
I believe the appropriate maxim here is: “Lull them into a false sense of security…”
Once more down the road we travel. Beers popped, bottles uncorked; you know, the usual.
Forty-five minutes later, we pull into, I kid you not, a replica US of A 1950s Motor-Inn.
“Mr. Myung”, I ask, “What the hell is this?”
To be continued…

Hey, I do a bunch of world building and homebrew for the campaign I run for my friends, and I figured I'd share it if anyone wants to use it.
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The Undercity? Yeah, it’s dangerous! You’ve got the redcap goblins, they aren’t much a danger by themselves, but they’ll give ya a hell of a time if a group gets you alone don’t you know? The Coldwrought clan moved down there some decades ago of course, and then… well, I don’t believe it myself of course, but they say stone giants still wander around down there. Gives me the shivers!
-Elsta Barrlow
The Undercity of Kol Taram is a city that was never meant to be: it exists in a massive drainage system built to protect Kol Taram above from spring melts from the nearby River of Colors. Across the Fallen Bridge on the other side of the cavernous drain channel, stone giants live a secluded life. The Coldwrought Crime Clan rules the Undercity with an iron fist, based out of their hotel/dungeon “The Dark Hive.”
Woven between these dangers (and so many more) there are, of course, wonderous things, too: Yawmbo, the bugbear keeper of The Dark Hive, can acquire near anything you need; Cadence Clearwater, the skinny, high-strung tiefling can craft a specialized tattoo that allows anyone to summon a familiar; within the simple lean-to that Kev the Kenku has an assortment of interesting items plucked from the streets, amongst them the odd thing of interest.
The Undercity Always Flows
Many have tried to map The Undercity, but nobody has yet succeeded. Due to the violent, and untrusting nature of many of the denizens, The Undercity is constantly tearing areas down, and building anew. A night doesn’t pass without at least two incidents of arson, and any especially loud squabbles that border on riots result in the stone giants across the Broken Bridge lobbing boulders amongst the city which also result in frequent “re-zonings.”
The best way to orient yourself to The Undercity are to look for the towering, 10-story high pillars that serve as both buildings and anchors to a fluid city.

• The Glowing Pillar
• A Pillar of the People
• The Goblin Gables
• The Statuary
• The Dark Hive Pillar
• The Pillar of Stairs

While there are many other structures outside of these super-structures built to support the weight of a mountain, most major buildings congregate around them.
The Ring of Rejects
The Undercity was not meant to be inhabited, but once The Squall began to rage, and a permanent winter has set in, there is no chance that the River of Colors will flood. Those not of dwarven descent often found that Kol Taram was a place they could never thrive, and many found their ways, by exile or by choice, to this so-called sixth ring, the Ring of Rejects.
The Broken Bridge
The only support structure to have ever fallen within the drainage system has left a massive, 100’ wide bridge of uneven and broken stones across the 120’ deep drainage ditch. Across it lives, hidden by piled boulders, a small hermitage of stone giants… or so the legend goes. The Broken Bridge is said to be their method of assault, should the violence in The Undercity ever spill over.
Refugees of Kol Taram
After Kienscale was awoken, and Kol Taram sacked, many of the citizens who knew of the Undercity and the methods to reach it, left the city through this dangerous route. Some lost their lives, most their possessions, and few chose to stay. Those few form around The Glowing Pillar, the mages of The Bearded Consortium dispelling whatever errant arcana had caused the faint light to radiate out from it, allowing the displaced dwarves to fashion out a makeshift fortress. There, elements of The Stoneguard gather, training the remaining citizens and gathering allies to eventually take back their city.
Controlled Anarchy
There are no set laws in The Undercity, save the unspoken, universal threat of the stone giants that might again assault the city should it grow too riotous. The Stoneguard keep order around the areas of The Glowing Pillar, and The Coldwrought Clan has enforcers keeping the money flowing and outside influences in check. The Goblin Gabbles is thoroughly ridden with goblins, who obey their own laws, a strange and violent pecking order that keeps their infighting at a steady level, and their threat to the city as a whole limited.
A Dark City
The Undercity features prominently races with darkvision, so aside from The Glowing Pillar and the Pillar of Stairs, there are not frequent sources of light. Those that do dot the inns, streets, and doorways of homes tend to be gas lamps turned to their lowest setting, or sweet, earthy Smolderwart, a pale white moss that burns for hours with a faint light and fragrant smoke.
Guide to the Undercity
I lived in the Ring of Copper once, you know? Me, a fat greenskinned goblin! No matter how good I became as a smith, it became obvious I’d never be more than skilled labor.
So I moved, moved to the Undercity. Every day, death lurks, maybe not nearby, but around every corner you smell him: a feral, red cap’s knife or maybe one of the Lumare’s creepy hands around your neck; but when nobody pretends to like you, it’s a lot easier down here to know who to trust.
-Miggblin, owner of Miggblin’s Custom Bladework.
The danger of The Undercity, especially to humans and the aarakocra, cannot be understated. That said, outside the Coldwrought Clan, deception is not often practiced: this is a place where the sword will often prevail over the pen.
The Natives
The Ring of Stone is already within the realm of The Underdark, and The Undercity serves as a place for its citizens and those from the service to mingle. These places were not always occupied by sentient races: before Kol Taram came to be, the cavernous dark was occupied by hideous creatures dreamed into existence by a beholder in the Second Age. Thriving amongst the dark and deadly hellscape of this underdark were the Lumare, grey-skinned humanoids, more spindly than graceful, with unnaturally flexible joints which cause them to have a strange, exaggerated gait, and the ability to easily scale the stony walls of the underdark. Nearly wiped out by dragons, and again when The Undercity boomed into existence after the defeat of the Parroa Rebellion, they hold a place of awe and respect, even amongst the rabble of The Undercity. They are said to be able to read minds, and know your actions before you do.
The rest of the creatures that belong to The Old Ones are less beloved, and wandering too far into the dark nooks of the city may find you face to face with them:
Wandering Old Ones
d4
Result
1
Dreamcrawler: Crawling along the walls, ceilings, and under bridges, these hands with bony, exposed, skeletal tips for scratching. (CR ½)
2
Fearwalker: Eyeless, bipedal humanoids with long, hooked ears, exaggerated mouths, and a taste for fear. They stalk the frightened, lost souls that wander into their domains. (CR 3)
3
Shadowstare: A flat creature of shadow that clings to a wall or under a shelf, though when it’s one massive eye opens it can be as dangerous as any beholder’s gaze. (CR: 5)
4
Zombie Beholder: (CR: 5)
Spellcasting Services
There are not many spellcasters in The Undercity, as the red cap goblins have a superstitious fear of magic, and they tend to target magic-users with more murderous intent than others. As such, there are no established spellcrafting services. The Bearded Consortium has powerful mages, but they are geared toward returning Kol Taram to its former standing; the Purple Terror who lurks in the city above keeps them wary.
Living and Lifestyles in The Undercity
‘Poverty’ is an easy term to toss around within the Undercity: many of the abodes are squalid, temporary structures of pitiful design. This can be deceiving, however, as The Undercities denizens are loath to show off anything of value. These items, beautiful or rare or expensive, are carried on one’s person, or hidden carefully away. As such, it is hard to determine a person’s real wealth.
Education and Learning
Due to the transient nature of The Undercities populace, traditional schools aren’t common. The Undercity is no place for children. Within the Kol Taram garrison, safe in the halls of the Glowing Pillar, dwarvish children resume lessons under the direction of Headmaster Heurd Rocknose. There are rumors of a Lumare training ground somewhere deeper within The Underdark called The Alabaster Terrace, where the Lumare hone their unique abilities, though none have seen it. Most who call themselves “lifers” who were born and raised in The Undercity take on apprenticeships.
Shopping
There are no markets or centers of commerce, though what stores do exist tend to cluster close to, or within, the massive pillars that support the cavernous roof of the space The Undercity occupies. The Washed Market outside of The Dark Hive may be the only exception: under careful watch of Coldwrought enforcers, an open-air black market, a warren of tables, takes place on every Wednesday. Nothing living is to be sold but narcotics, stolen jewelry, historical artifacts, unsavory meats, and dark secrets can be found. While outright violence is not tolerated, the Coldwrought Clan does not concern itself with petty theft, and will take no action against thievery.
Tax Day
There is not a tradition of open celebration of holidays within The Undercity. The only “special” day is Tax Day, which can happen at strange intervals but usually once or twice a month. On this day, Couldwrought enforcers spread across the Undercity in groups, beating up locals who cannot pay for their “taxes.”
Sports and Games
The Undercity does attract it’s fair share of gamblers and unsavory types that are happy to make a quick copper at another’s expense. The Dark Hive features poker tables, Bluffer’s Cup, and for those with the pieces, a private Gragram room.
Gragram
An ancient dwarvish game that requires pieces scattered across the northern parts of Dominion, lost with the falls of two of the original citadels. Those who can find pieces will bet on fighting them with others; the pieces are enchanted, and can do harm only to each other; the pieces rebuild themselves after one day.
Bluffer’s Cup
Each player has three tiles: the shield, the sword, and the hand. It is a rocks, paper, scissors with betting and deception involved.
The Square of Might
Operated by The Coldwrought Clan, The Square of Might is a small fighting arena with two tiers of seatings. Fights may be arranged, with the loser being paid, the winner being paid more, and the house taking most. Fights are not typically to the death, but True Boughts are fought to the death.
People of Prominence
There is no recognized government, or set of laws outside of the unspoken ones that seem universal within the Undercity. Instead, there are people of prominence whose spheres of influence have shaped the behaviors of those around them.
d6
Person
1
Yawmbo - A bugbear with oiled and styled hair brushed back across the fine black vest he wears over a brown-furred torso, Yawmbo speaks little, but is surprisingly intelligent. He works as a broker, and can obtain most things for players, in return for them completing tasks for the Coldwrought Clan, though this is never explicitly stated.
2
Chief Schneek - At 24, Schneek is ancient by goblin standards. He is blind now, but could once read the fortune of the Undercity using rat bones. He despises magic users, such as The Hidden Hag, who he blames for taking his site. His eyes are made of stone.
3
High Mage Wucrut Coalbeard - 322, Wucrut is a chauvinist, old-guard High Mage who resents the introduction of women to the Bearded Consortium. He is a powerful evocation mage, and proved himself in the Battle of Skaar against the Fire Giant Legion.
4
The Hidden Hag - Deep within The Statuary Pillar, amongst its hallways of petrified humanoids, shifting living statues, resides a pale, veiled woman known as The Hidden Hag. None have seen her face, though rumors speak of looking upon her resulting in the many statues around her abode. She keeps to herself, but hers is the only pillar with a good radius of emptiness around it.
5
The Stalker - The lone Lumare who makes permanent residence behind The Stalker’s Perch. He is quiet, speaks few words, but communicates mostly through his eyes. His insight is unparalleled, and he hunts down those who would cause particular trouble in the streets of The Undercity.
6
Dorgram Coldwrought, Patriarch of the Coldwrought Clan - The most dangerous man in The Undercity, Dorgram Coldwrought is 121, and has been groomed from birth to run the Coldwrought Clan. He is merciless, speaks slowly, but his words have great gravity. He always wears dull navy gloves with gold cappings around the knuckles, and around one eye is heavily tattooed to make it appear as if the flesh is peeling away to reveal bone.
Holy Places
The Undercity is a place that slows for freedom of worship, and nowhere is that more obvious than the Madruuc Lambus, undercommon for “Market of Gods.” Dug into the ground itself, a cave-like series of shafts and small caverns dedicated to the many gods that others worship. Less crime happens here, as those who defile a chamber of a deity are likely to find trouble with their followers.
Within the boundaries of The Glowing Pillar and Fort Taram that has risen up to house the dwarven refugees of Kol Taram, there is a simple stone church known as “Last Hearth,” a simple place to keep the flame of the Dawnfather’s Horizon Cathedral burning while the city is under siege.
Just outside of the city, in a cave that requires spider climb to access, there is a large altar designated for Lolth, and many drow slip away in secret to worship here.
A City of Factions
The huge, 100’ wide pillars that support the weight of Mount Taram above this system of gargantuan drains generally form the center points for factions, though not always. To call any of these groups outside of The Coldwrought Clan and the Red Cap Goblins organized is a stretch, but each of these groups has the resources, manpower, or prestige to lay claim to at least a small slice of The Undercity.
The Shadow Scavs
The Undercity was born of need; those who could never find a place amongst the elitist dwarves above, moved to a place where they could rise up as high as any other. Many did not wish to move below, however, bought south the help of those in dark places to get materials restricted to them. These people came to be known as The Shadow Scavengers, or Shadowscavs for short.
They are a motley group of thieves, smugglers, and fences with the occasional use of Autis, a warforged enforcer usually hidden beneath a large jacket and hat, to protect magical items. Their symbol is a pair of crossed, upside down pickaxes.
Ally Benefits:
- Material costs for smithing-related projects are reduced by 15%
- You may purchase the Rat Tunnels map from any Shadowscav leader for 10gp
Stoneguard
A small contingent of Stoneguard, the law keeping force and military of Kol Taram above, escorted refugees down to the Undercity. They currently man Fort Taram, the Gateway Garrison, and a small defensive position outside of The Pillar of Stairs to safeguard against any scouts from the invasion above.
They are hardy warriors, with stone-coated half-plate and either two-handed mauls or one-handed war-hammers and shields. Their leader is The Stonewarden, Vaddarus, a younger male dwarf who always plays it safe.
Ally Benefits:
- You may be accompanied by a Stoneguard about the boundaries of the Undercity if you wish. They will provide you with some protection from the Red Cap goblins and various other entities.
- Access to the Stoneguard Armory, which sells basic armor and weapons at 10% off the base market price.
The Coldwrought Clan
Of all the factions in the Undercity, The Couldwrought Clan is the most powerful and the most dangerous. The actual family members of the Coldwrought Clan number maybe two dozen, but they employ countless other dwarves, goblins, kenku, drow, and anyone else willing to back their clan up for the price of a little gold.
Led by Dorgram Coldwrought, the family patriarch, they grow wealth with hidden desires to take back the citadel above that cast them down.
Ally Benifts:
- You can hire a Coldwrought Enforcer at the price of 5gp a day.
- You may stay at The Dark Hive free of charge, with one fine meal per day included.
The Bearded Consortium
Once one of the two primary powers within Kol Taram, The Bearded Consortium has stood for 500 years as a men-only convocation of powerful magic users, primarily wizards. They are powerful evocation magic users, but have flaunted more political power than actual magic in recent centuries.
In a large upset of tradition, with the fall of Kol Taram, Zelga Stonestaf, a female dwarf, has been made a full member. In this time of desperation, many welcome to powerful, blunt woman who wears a porcelain mask.
Ally Benefits:
- -10% to all components needed for a spell tagged as evocation.
- Access to the Consortium Militia armory, where scrolls of spell levels 1-3 can be purchased, at the DMs discretion.
The Six Great Pillars
As said before, the easiest way to break up the ever-shifting mass of humanoids that make up The Undercity is by the most proximate Great Pillar to their location.
The pillars themselves have been carved and built into over time, with the Goblin Gabbles being the most haphazardly worked and porous-looking, and the Pillar of Stairs being the most well-kept. It’s difficult to break down the pillar neighborhoods in terms of economic lines, but those who live within The Dark Hive tend to be very wealthy; those who live around the People’s Pillar count themselves as the most squalid in an already poor town.
Getting Around
While The Undercity is not massive in terms of it’s horizontal footprint, many of the pillars have carved stairs, and ascend stories into the dark with warrens, housing, and even small shops for those who know where to look. While it takes no more than two hours to walk from end-to-end, climbing to the top of The People’s Pillar may take nearly a day for those unfamiliar. As a general rule of thumb:

• It takes approximately 30 minutes to walk from one pillar’s neighborhood to the next.
• Climbing a Pillar takes approximately 15 minutes a story once it’s familiar to a traveler.

Statuary Pillar Locations
Place
Description
The Stoneyard
A church-like building of old casketwood, and fenced in areas of earth where the dead are interred. The Stoneyard is a gravesite that is backset by the Statuary, and even features statues scavenged from within the Statuary pillar itself. Part of the trio of reputedly haunted buildings that make up Quarry Row.
The Gentle Repose
At one time, The Repose was a beautiful structure, built to house the noble Clan Grandcrest who all succumbed to madness. The one beautiful, Victorian-style home has now been transformed into a hotel, of sorts, though ghosts can frequently be seen walking through walls to different rooms.
Goblin Gables Locations
Place
Description
Deek’s Cart
Every Wednesday, Deek, a meek, skittish goblin, will bring a wheelbarrow-sized cart of belongings stolen by the Red Cap goblins to the Dark Market, but those in the know will tell you that Deek lives under the Goblin Gables. He even deals directly with the Shadowscavs.
Pillar of the People Locations
Place
Description
Bloodworm Farm
One of the few edible things deep underground that grow readily are blood worms, each about four inches long and the width of a middle finger. They are protein rich and taste very iron-heavy. They are grown in troughs, and eat both dead organic matter and rust.
Commoner’s Infirmary
A large tent, similar to a circus tent, though its slowly become a more permanent fixture in The People’s Pillar neighborhood. It is a field hospital, with a limited supply of medicine and an even more limited number of people trained in the healing arts.
Mudbath House
The earthy, deep pits of thermally heated mud. For an added fee, they can even properly wash after.
The Glowing Pillar Locations
Place
Description
Ireworks
The single forge now operates on behalf of the Taram Resistance. It expands slowly but surely, all the wire pumping out armor and weapons night and day.
Kevin
Kevin is a kenku who has set up a tent on the outskirts of The Glowing Pillar neighborhood. Most of what he has is junk, but now and then, he seems to come by a treasure or two.
Undercut
A general store that sells damaged and broken goods well below market price.
Rois Quarry
A large, three layer deep quarry for mining grey granite for bricks.
The Bleedin’ Stout
Named for its signature drink, The Bleedin’ Stout is a traditional dwarvish drinking hall, with a large chandelier, and features a sort of bloodworm pasta with a red pepper sauce that burns the iron flavor right out.
The Training Yard
Amidst the buildings of Fort Taram, there is a large stone courtyard dedicated to 24-hour combat exercises.
The Dark Hive Locations
Place
Description
The Dark Hive
The Dark Hive itself is one party casino, one part sprawling hotel/dungeon that houses The Coldwrought Clan’s interests. On the fifth story of the tower is the Coldwrought Apartments, where the crime family lives, and deals with their top clients.
The Dark Market
Under careful watch from the Coldwrought enforcers, every Wednesday sees a large
Square of Might
To the west of the pillar proper, perhaps ten minutes walk, is a large, iron cube. There are vents on the top, which allow steam from the gathered crowd to escape. Within, there are seats for roughly 60 people, and a raised marble square where organized fights take place.
The Gourmand’s Kitchen
This small, eight-seat establishment operates within Coldwrought territory, and provides one meal a week, every Friday Night. It is highly exclusive, and few know what occurs within these walls… there are rumors that many of the items on the menu are harvested from the streets of The Undercity and beyond...
Further, due to the nature of The Undercity (violent and volatile) many shops rise and fall quickly, or change locations. The following merchants may be located anywhere within The Undercity, or not at all, at the DM’s discretion.
d6
Merchant
1
The Shoddy Scholar - A small shop filled with second-hand books piled on every available surface. Run by the deep gnome Gildroby Middleweasle who knows exactly where every title is, and exactly what's in stock. Specializes in fiction.
2
Feathered Lands - A tiny store, with a single drafting table, a desk, and a few shelves of rolled up, large, scrolls. Mi-Zhan, a middle-aged drow woman shaved bald, though constantly fussing with her head, can create and provide maps of Underdark locations.
3
Hchvat Marganum - Infernal for “Blown Glass”, Hchvat Marganum is just that: a glass blower. Owned by the tiefling Partillin, proud and sarcastic, it can produce glass of master quality.
4
Liquid Courage - A medium-sized Inn of a poor quality. Ownership frequently changes (at least once a week), resulting in odd, mis-matched decor.
5
The All Sleeper’s Domain - A medium-sized tent with comfortable pillows piled throughout. 10gp will get you a pleasant dose of Dreamer’s Stick, a minty, chewy reed that can induce a hallucinatory dream state. Many can’t quite remember where they’ve left all their things when they leave.
6
Cadence’s Tattoo Parlor - Always moving, the rapid-speaking, stream-of-consciousness speaking tiefling, Cadence Clearwater runs a tattoo parlor wherever somebody can track her down. She specializes in a tattoo that can summon a semi-spectral familiar (1,000gp, plus the ashes of 10gp worth of incense, herbs, and charcoal.) once per day.
Dungeons of The Undercity
The Undercity, by its very nature, might be considered a dungeon, depending on your disposition and willingness to overlook rampant violence. However, there are areas in both the developed pillar communities and the surrounding caverns that present particularly perilous settings.
The Statuary
Though the hag who is rumored to wander the halls of the pillar known as The Statuary has expressed nothing more than a desire to be left alone, the statues that dot the hallways, rooftop, and even surrounding The Statuary itself, were all adventurers, criminals, or sight-seekers who ignored her wishes and sought the various treasures said to remain from the Drow military outfit that used to inhabit the tower. The pillar itself was designed to be defended, with a pair of staircases twisting around each other through the center, visible to each level that passes. Not all statues remain still, either; gargoyles, mimics, and ropers all take residence here.
Stone Giant Settlement
Behind large piles of stones that obscure the settlement proper from the other side of the Broken Bridge, are massive steps that lead to a sunken-in portion of earth, hiding the true height of the giant’s large community-structure: similar to a pyramid, though each brick features fine linework to give the entire thing the appearance of being made my miniature stones. Within lives a small community of stone giants, who call themselves Draj-Larc, “The Dark Dwellers” in giantese. They live a quiet, secluded life, and seek to elevate their home to even finer heights, the leader chosen every 500 days by who has provided the most improvement to their lair.
The Dark Hive
An appropriate name for a complex, five-story-high maze of apartments, functional rooms, workshops, and storage areas. The Coldwrought Clan runs the entire structure, though as it expands ever-upward, even they don’t know the true extent of the pillar’s workings anymore. Many of those missing from the uneven streets of The Undercity still live (in the better scenarios) within The Dark Hive. Past the first level, which is largely a dark, smokey casino, intruders will be met with fierce resistance from the Coldwrought Clan and those in their employ. The complex nature of The Dark Hive does carry with it one advantage: There are no means to sound an effective alarm outside of a very localized area.

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Updated - 7/10/20
127 Hours
12 Monkeys
12 Years a Slave
1941
2001: A Space Odyssey
28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later
2 Fast 2 Furious
2 Guns
300
300: Rise of an Empire
30 Days of Night
42
47 Ronin
About Last Night (2014)
About Time
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
A Clockwork Orange
A Cure for Wellness
Admission
A Dog's Purpose
A Good Day to Die Hard (Extended Edition)
Air Force One
A Knight's Tale
Alien
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Alien (Director's Cut)
Alien3
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Alien Resurrection
Aliens
Aliens (Special Edition)
Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (Uncut)
Alien vs. Predator
Always
American Gangster (Extended Edition)
American Graffiti
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American Sniper
A Million Ways to Die in the West (Unrated)
An American In Paris
Annabelle
Apollo 13
Appaloosa
Aquaman
Argo
A River Runs Through It
Armageddon
Army of Darkness
As Above, So Below
A Scanner Darkly
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A Streetcar Named Desire
Atomic Blonde
Atonement
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Austin Powers in Goldmember
A Walk Among the Tombstones
A Walk to Remember
BACKDRAFT
Back to the Future
Back to the Future Part II
Back to the Future Part III
Bad Moms
Bad Times at The El Royale
Bad Words
Batman
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
Batman: The Killing Joke
Batman & Mr. Freeze: Sub Zero
Batman & Robin
Batman Begins
Batman Forever
Batman Ninja
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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Ultimate Edition)
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
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Battleship
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Beetlejuice
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Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Ben Hur
Better Living Through Chemistry
Big Fish
Birdman
Blackhat
BlacKkKlansman
Black Mass
Black Swan
Blade
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Blade II
Blade Runner (Final Cut)
Blade Runner 2049
Blast from the Past
Blazing Saddles
Blockers
Blow
Blue Jasmine
Blumhouse's Truth Or Dare (Unrated)
Born on the Fourth of July
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Bridesmaids
Bridge of Spies
Brooklyn
Bruce Almighty
Bullitt
Caddyshack
Can't Hardly Wait
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
Casablanca
Casino
Casper
Cast Away
Central Intelligence
Chappie
Charade
Chariots of Fire
Children of Men
CHiPs
Chronicle
Citizen Kane
Clash of the Titans
Clash of the Titans
Cloud Atlas
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Colossal
Con Air
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Constantine
Contagion
Contraband
Cool Hand Luke
Cowboys & Aliens
Crazy, Stupid, Love
Crazy Rich Asians
Creepshow
Crimson Peak
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Dallas Buyers Club
Daredevil (Director's Cut)
Dark City
Darkest Hour
Darkman
Dark Shadows
Das Boot (The Director's Cut)
Date Night (Extended Edition)
Dawn of the Dead - Unrated Director's Cut
Dawn of The Planet of The Apes
Dead Man Down
Death Becomes Her
Demolition Man
Despicable Me
Despicable Me 3
Detroit
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Dick Tracy
Die Hard
Dirty Harry
Disobedience
District 9
Doctor Dolittle
Doctor Zhivago
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (Uncut)
Dog Day Afternoon
Dolphin Tale
Dolphin Tale 2
Dr. Seuss: The Lorax
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Dr. Seuss' The Lorax
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Dracula (1931)
Dracula Untold
Drive
Driving Miss Daisy
Due Date
Dumb and Dumber
Dumb and Dumber To
Dune
Dunkirk
Elf
Empire of the Sun
End of Watch
Enemy of the State
Enough Said
Entourage
Escape from the Planet of the Apes
Evan Almighty
Everest
Exodus: Gods and Kings
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Eye in the Sky
Fallen
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Far and Away
Fast & Furious
Fast & Furious 6 - Extended Edition
Fast Five - Extended Edition
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Field of Dreams
Fifty Shades Darker
Fifty Shades Darker (Unrated)
Fifty Shades Freed
Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades of Grey
Fight Club
Final Destination 5
Focus
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Unrated)
Frank & Lola
Frankenstein
Freddy vs. Jason
Free State of Jones
Friday the 13th
Fright Night
Full Metal Jacket
Game Night
Gangster Squad
Gattaca
Geostorm
Get Hard
Get Out
Get Smart
Gifted
Gigi
Girls Trip
Glory
Godzilla
Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack
Gone in 60 Seconds
Gone with the Wind
Goodbye Christopher Robin
Goodfellas
Grand Hotel
Grandma's Boy
Grand Prix
Gran Torino
Gravity
Green Lantern
Green Lantern: Emerald Knights
Green Zone
Gremlins
Gremlins 2: The New Batch
Groundhog Day
Grudge Match
Grumpy Old Men
Hail, Caesar!
Hancock
Hanna
Happy Death Day
Happy Feet
Happy Feet Two
Happy Gilmore
Hardcore Henry
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harvey
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Her
Hidden
Hitchcock
Hitman: Agent 47
Hitman (Uncut)
Holiday Inn
Home
Hook
Hop
Horrible Bosses
Horrible Bosses 2
Hot Fuzz
How the Grinch Stole Christmas: The Ultimate Edition
How The West Was Won
How to Train Your Dragon
How to Train Your Dragon 2
I, Robot
I, Tonya
I Am Legend
Identity
In Bruges
Inception
Independence Day: Resurgence
Inglourious Basterds
Inherent Vice
Insidious: Chapter 2
Insidious: Chapter 3
Interview With the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles
In the Heart of the Sea
In the Name of the Father
Into the Storm
Isle of Dogs
IT
It Could Happen to You
J. Edgar
Jack the Giant Slayer
Jason Bourne
Jaws
Jennifer's Body (Unrated)
Jerry Maguire
Jersey Boys
JOBS
Johnny Mnemonic
Jonah Hex
Journey to the Center of the Earth
Joy
Jumanji
Juno
Jupiter Ascending
Jurassic Park III
Justice League
Keeping Up with the Joneses
Kick-Ass 2
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Kingdom of Heaven (Director's Cut Roadshow Version)
King Kong
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Kingsman: The Secret Service
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Knight and Day
Kong: Skull Island
Krampus
Kung Fu Panda
Kung Fu Panda 2
Kung Fu Panda 3
Last Action Hero
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version)
Leave No Trace
Legend
Legend (2015)
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole
Legends of the Fall
Les Miserables (2012)
Let's Be Cops
Lethal Weapon
Liar Liar
Life of Pi
Little Fockers
Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow
Logan
London Has Fallen
Lonely Hearts
Lone Survivor
Lost River
Love Actually
Lucy
Machete
Madagascar
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
Mad Max: Fury Road
Magic Mike
Magic Mike XXL
Mallrats
Mama
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
Mamma Mia! The Movie
Man of Steel
Maps to the Stars
Mars Attacks!
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Max Payne (Unrated)
Maze Runner: The Death Cure
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
Meet Joe Black
Me, Myself and Irene
Megamind
Megan Leavey
Memoirs of an Invisible Man
Message in a Bottle
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Million Dollar Baby
MindGamers
Miss Congeniality
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
Mistress America
Monsters vs. Aliens
Monte Carlo
Moon
Moonrise Kingdom
MORGAN
Mortal Kombat
Moulin Rouge
Mr. Deeds
Mr. Peabody & Sherman
Mrs. Miniver
Murder on The Orient Express
Mutiny on the Bounty
My Best Friend's Wedding
My Girl
My Girl 2
My Summer of Love
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
National Lampoon's Vacation
Natural Born Killers
Neighbors
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising
New Year's Eve
Nightcrawler
A Nightmare on Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
Freddy vs. Jason
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
Nights in Rodanthe
Ninja Assassin
Nocturnal Animals
North By Northwest
Notting Hill
Oblivion
Ocean's 11
Ocean's 8
Ocean's Eleven
Ocean's Thirteen
Ocean's Twelve
Office Space
Once Upon a Time in America
Open Season
Open Season: Scared Silly
Our Brand is Crisis
Outbreak
Pacific Rim
Pacific Rim Uprising
Pan
Pan's Labyrinth
Panic Room
Paper Towns
Papillon
Papillon (2019)
Parker
Paul (Unrated)
Pearl Harbor
Penguins of Madagascar
Phantom Thread
Pillow Talk
Pitch Black - Unrated Director's Cut
Pitch Perfect
Pitch Perfect 2
Pitch Perfect 3
Pitch Perfect Sing-Along Edition
Planet of the Apes
Planet of the Apes
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
Predator
Predators
Predestination
Pretty Woman
Pride & Prejudice
Prince of Darkness
Prisoners
Project X
Prometheus
Psycho (1960)
Public Enemies
R.I.P.D.
Rampage
Ready Player One
Real Steel
Rear Window
Red Sparrow
Repo Man
Riddick - Unrated Director's Cut
Rise of the Guardians
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Risky Business
Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Robin Hood (Unrated)
Rock of Ages
Run All Night
Rush
Rush Hour
Rush Hour 2
Rush Hour 3
Safe House
San Andreas
Savages
SCARFACE ('83)
Schindler's List
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Search Party
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
Serenity
Seven
Seventh Son
Sex and the City: The Movie
Sex and the City 2
Sgt. Bilko
Shaun of the Dead
Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Side Effects
Sing
Singin' in the Rain
Sisters (Unrated)
Sixteen Candles
Skyscraper
Sleepless
Slither
Slumdog Millionaire
Smallfoot
Smokey and the Bandit
Smokin' Aces
Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball (Unrated)
Snatch
Snatched
Snowden
Snow White & the Huntsman
Son of God
Space Jam
Spartacus
Speed
Speed Racer
Spider-Man (2002)
Split
Spotlight
Spy (Unrated)
Starship Troopers
Stephen King's IT
Steve McQueen: An American Icon
Stoker
Storks
Street Fighter
Street Kings
Sucker Punch
Suicide Squad
Suicide Squad: Extended Cut
Sully
Sunshine
Superman: The Movie
Superman Returns
Super Troopers
Super Troopers 2
Surf's Up
Swordfish
Table 19
Tag
Taken (Extended Cut)
Tammy
Taxi Driver
Ted (Unrated)
Ted 2 (Unrated)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3
Teen Titans Go! To The Movies
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Terminator 4: Salvation
Thank You For Your Service
That Thing You Do!
The Accountant
The Adjustment Bureau
The American President
The Animatrix
The Apparition
The A-Team
The Aviator
The Bag Man
The Beguiled (2017)
The Big Lebowski
The Big Red One
The Birds
The Birth of A Nation
The Blind Side
The Blues Brothers
The Bodyguard
The Book of Eli
The Boss (Unrated)
The Boss Baby
The Bourne Identity
The Bourne Legacy
The Bourne Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Breakfast Club
The Bridge On the River Kwai
The Butterfly Effect
The Campaign
The Cell
The Chronicles of Riddick - Unrated Director's Cut
The Color Purple
The Conjuring
The Counselor
The Croods
The Danish Girl
The Darkest Minds
The Dark Knight
The Dark Knight Rises
The Day After Tomorrow
The Day the Earth Stood Still
The Departed
The Deep
The Descendants
The Devil's Advocate
The Devil Wears Prada
The Dirty Dozen
The Exorcist
The Fast and the Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
The Fate of the Furious
The Fate of the Furious - Extended Directorís Cut
The Fifth Estate
The Fisher King
The Five-Year Engagement
The Fountain
The Frighteners
The Fugitive
The Girl on the Train
The Good Lie
The Goonies
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Great Gatsby
The Great Race
The Great Wall
The Green Mile
The Grey
The Gunman
The Guns of Navarone
The Hangover
The Hangover Part II
The Hangover Part III
The Heat
The Help
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended Edition)
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (Extended Edition)
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Extended Edition)
The Host
The Hulk
The Huntsman: Winter's War - Extended Edition
The Ides of March
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
The Incredible Hulk
The Intern
The International
The Internship
The Interview
The Iron Giant (Signature Edition)
The Jerk
The Judge
The Karate Kid (1984)
The Last Samurai
The Last Starfighter
The Legend of Tarzan
The Legend of Zorro
The Lego Batman Movie
The Lego Movie
The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
The LEGO Ninjago Movie
The Light Between Oceans
The Longest Day
The Longest Ride
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Extended Edition)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition)
The Losers
The Lost World: Jurassic Park
The Lucky One
The Maltese Falcon
The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
The Man with the Iron Fists
The Mask
The Mask of Zorro
The Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix Revolutions
The Maze Runner
The Meg
The Mountain Between Us
The Mule
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
The Mummy (1999)
The Mummy (2017)
The Mummy Returns
The Natural
The Neverending Story
The Nice Guys
The Notebook
The Nun
The Nut Job
The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature
The Old Man & The Gun
The Other Guys
The Other Woman
The Phantom of the Opera
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
The Place Beyond the Pines
The Predator
The Prestige
The Professional
The Professional (Extended Cut)
The Proposal
The Purge
The Quick and the Dead (1995)
The Revenant
The Right Stuff
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Runaways (2010)
The Sand Pebbles
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
The Shape of Water
The Shawshank Redemption
The Smurfs
The Snowman
The Sting
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Theory of Everything
The Thing (1982)
The Thing (2011)
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Town
The Train Robbers
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
The Tree of Life
The Watcher
The Way, Way Back
The Wedding Singer
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
The Wolfman (Unrated)
The World's End
The X-files: I Want To Believe (Special Edition)
They Live
The Young Messiah
They Shall Not Grow Old
This Is 40
This is Where I Leave You
This Means War
Thoroughbreds
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Tiptoes
TMNT
To Kill A Mockingbird
Tombstone
Training Day
Trainwreck
Transcendence
Trash
Trolls
Trouble With The Curve
Troy
Trumbo
Turbo
Twister
Two Weeks Notice
U-571
Unbreakable
Unbroken
Unforgiven
Unknown
Unsane
Unstoppable
Upgrade
Vacation
Van Helsing
Veronica Mars
Vertical Limit
Vertigo
V for Vendetta
Videodrome
Walk the Line
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Wanted
Warcraft
War Dogs
War for the Planet of the Apes
Watchmen
Water for Elephants
Waterworld
We're the Millers
Wedding Crashers
Where the Wild Things Are
Wild
William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
Wonder Woman
Woody Woodpecker
Wrath of the Titans
Yes Man
Yogi Bear
Your Highness (Unrated)
Zathura

I homebrew a lot for our campaign, and figured I could share some of the work to make life a little easier for anyone who needs something like this! I do have a prettier PDF version if anyone wants it, but for now...
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The Undercity? Yeah, it’s dangerous! You’ve got the redcap goblins, they aren’t much a danger by themselves, but they’ll give ya a hell of a time if a group gets you alone don’t you know? The Coldwrought clan moved down there some decades ago of course, and then… well, I don’t believe it myself of course, but they say stone giants still wander around down there. Gives me the shivers!
-Elsta Barrlow
The Undercity of Kol Taram is a city that was never meant to be: it exists in a massive drainage system built to protect Kol Taram above from spring melts from the nearby River of Colors. Across the Fallen Bridge on the other side of the cavernous drain channel, stone giants live a secluded life. The Coldwrought Crime Clan rules the Undercity with an iron fist, based out of their hotel/dungeon “The Dark Hive.”
Woven between these dangers (and so many more) there are, of course, wonderous things, too: Yawmbo, the bugbear keeper of The Dark Hive, can acquire near anything you need; Cadence Clearwater, the skinny, high-strung tiefling can craft a specialized tattoo that allows anyone to summon a familiar; within the simple lean-to that Kev the Kenku has an assortment of interesting items plucked from the streets, amongst them the odd thing of interest.
The Undercity Always Flows
Many have tried to map The Undercity, but nobody has yet succeeded. Due to the violent, and untrusting nature of many of the denizens, The Undercity is constantly tearing areas down, and building anew. A night doesn’t pass without at least two incidents of arson, and any especially loud squabbles that border on riots result in the stone giants across the Broken Bridge lobbing boulders amongst the city which also result in frequent “re-zonings.”
The best way to orient yourself to The Undercity are to look for the towering, 10-story high pillars that serve as both buildings and anchors to a fluid city.

• The Glowing Pillar
• A Pillar of the People
• The Goblin Gables
• The Statuary
• The Dark Hive Pillar
• The Pillar of Stairs

While there are many other structures outside of these super-structures built to support the weight of a mountain, most major buildings congregate around them.
The Ring of Rejects
The Undercity was not meant to be inhabited, but once The Squall began to rage, and a permanent winter has set in, there is no chance that the River of Colors will flood. Those not of dwarven descent often found that Kol Taram was a place they could never thrive, and many found their ways, by exile or by choice, to this so-called sixth ring, the Ring of Rejects.
The Broken Bridge
The only support structure to have ever fallen within the drainage system has left a massive, 100’ wide bridge of uneven and broken stones across the 120’ deep drainage ditch. Across it lives, hidden by piled boulders, a small hermitage of stone giants… or so the legend goes. The Broken Bridge is said to be their method of assault, should the violence in The Undercity ever spill over.
Refugees of Kol Taram
After Kienscale was awoken, and Kol Taram sacked, many of the citizens who knew of the Undercity and the methods to reach it, left the city through this dangerous route. Some lost their lives, most their possessions, and few chose to stay. Those few form around The Glowing Pillar, the mages of The Bearded Consortium dispelling whatever errant arcana had caused the faint light to radiate out from it, allowing the displaced dwarves to fashion out a makeshift fortress. There, elements of The Stoneguard gather, training the remaining citizens and gathering allies to eventually take back their city.
Controlled Anarchy
There are no set laws in The Undercity, save the unspoken, universal threat of the stone giants that might again assault the city should it grow too riotous. The Stoneguard keep order around the areas of The Glowing Pillar, and The Coldwrought Clan has enforcers keeping the money flowing and outside influences in check. The Goblin Gabbles is thoroughly ridden with goblins, who obey their own laws, a strange and violent pecking order that keeps their infighting at a steady level, and their threat to the city as a whole limited.
A Dark City
The Undercity features prominently races with darkvision, so aside from The Glowing Pillar and the Pillar of Stairs, there are not frequent sources of light. Those that do dot the inns, streets, and doorways of homes tend to be gas lamps turned to their lowest setting, or sweet, earthy Smolderwart, a pale white moss that burns for hours with a faint light and fragrant smoke.
Guide to the Undercity
I lived in the Ring of Copper once, you know? Me, a fat greenskinned goblin! No matter how good I became as a smith, it became obvious I’d never be more than skilled labor.
So I moved, moved to the Undercity. Every day, death lurks, maybe not nearby, but around every corner you smell him: a feral, red cap’s knife or maybe one of the Lumare’s creepy hands around your neck; but when nobody pretends to like you, it’s a lot easier down here to know who to trust.
-Miggblin, owner of Miggblin’s Custom Bladework.
The danger of The Undercity, especially to humans and the aarakocra, cannot be understated. That said, outside the Coldwrought Clan, deception is not often practiced: this is a place where the sword will often prevail over the pen.
The Natives
The Ring of Stone is already within the realm of The Underdark, and The Undercity serves as a place for its citizens and those from the service to mingle. These places were not always occupied by sentient races: before Kol Taram came to be, the cavernous dark was occupied by hideous creatures dreamed into existence by a beholder in the Second Age. Thriving amongst the dark and deadly hellscape of this underdark were the Lumare, grey-skinned humanoids, more spindly than graceful, with unnaturally flexible joints which cause them to have a strange, exaggerated gait, and the ability to easily scale the stony walls of the underdark. Nearly wiped out by dragons, and again when The Undercity boomed into existence after the defeat of the Parroa Rebellion, they hold a place of awe and respect, even amongst the rabble of The Undercity. They are said to be able to read minds, and know your actions before you do.
The rest of the creatures that belong to The Old Ones are less beloved, and wandering too far into the dark nooks of the city may find you face to face with them:
Wandering Old Ones
d4
Result
1
Dreamcrawler: Crawling along the walls, ceilings, and under bridges, these hands with bony, exposed, skeletal tips for scratching. (CR ½)
2
Fearwalker: Eyeless, bipedal humanoids with long, hooked ears, exaggerated mouths, and a taste for fear. They stalk the frightened, lost souls that wander into their domains. (CR 3)
3
Shadowstare: A flat creature of shadow that clings to a wall or under a shelf, though when it’s one massive eye opens it can be as dangerous as any beholder’s gaze. (CR: 5)
4
Zombie Beholder: (CR: 5)
Spellcasting Services
There are not many spellcasters in The Undercity, as the red cap goblins have a superstitious fear of magic, and they tend to target magic-users with more murderous intent than others. As such, there are no established spellcrafting services. The Bearded Consortium has powerful mages, but they are geared toward returning Kol Taram to its former standing; the Purple Terror who lurks in the city above keeps them wary.
Living and Lifestyles in The Undercity
‘Poverty’ is an easy term to toss around within the Undercity: many of the abodes are squalid, temporary structures of pitiful design. This can be deceiving, however, as The Undercities denizens are loath to show off anything of value. These items, beautiful or rare or expensive, are carried on one’s person, or hidden carefully away. As such, it is hard to determine a person’s real wealth.
Education and Learning
Due to the transient nature of The Undercities populace, traditional schools aren’t common. The Undercity is no place for children. Within the Kol Taram garrison, safe in the halls of the Glowing Pillar, dwarvish children resume lessons under the direction of Headmaster Heurd Rocknose. There are rumors of a Lumare training ground somewhere deeper within The Underdark called The Alabaster Terrace, where the Lumare hone their unique abilities, though none have seen it. Most who call themselves “lifers” who were born and raised in The Undercity take on apprenticeships.
Shopping
There are no markets or centers of commerce, though what stores do exist tend to cluster close to, or within, the massive pillars that support the cavernous roof of the space The Undercity occupies. The Washed Market outside of The Dark Hive may be the only exception: under careful watch of Coldwrought enforcers, an open-air black market, a warren of tables, takes place on every Wednesday. Nothing living is to be sold but narcotics, stolen jewelry, historical artifacts, unsavory meats, and dark secrets can be found. While outright violence is not tolerated, the Coldwrought Clan does not concern itself with petty theft, and will take no action against thievery.
Tax Day
There is not a tradition of open celebration of holidays within The Undercity. The only “special” day is Tax Day, which can happen at strange intervals but usually once or twice a month. On this day, Couldwrought enforcers spread across the Undercity in groups, beating up locals who cannot pay for their “taxes.”
Sports and Games
The Undercity does attract it’s fair share of gamblers and unsavory types that are happy to make a quick copper at another’s expense. The Dark Hive features poker tables, Bluffer’s Cup, and for those with the pieces, a private Gragram room.
Gragram
An ancient dwarvish game that requires pieces scattered across the northern parts of Dominion, lost with the falls of two of the original citadels. Those who can find pieces will bet on fighting them with others; the pieces are enchanted, and can do harm only to each other; the pieces rebuild themselves after one day.
Bluffer’s Cup
Each player has three tiles: the shield, the sword, and the hand. It is a rocks, paper, scissors with betting and deception involved.
The Square of Might
Operated by The Coldwrought Clan, The Square of Might is a small fighting arena with two tiers of seatings. Fights may be arranged, with the loser being paid, the winner being paid more, and the house taking most. Fights are not typically to the death, but True Boughts are fought to the death.
People of Prominence
There is no recognized government, or set of laws outside of the unspoken ones that seem universal within the Undercity. Instead, there are people of prominence whose spheres of influence have shaped the behaviors of those around them.
d6
Person
1
Yawmbo - A bugbear with oiled and styled hair brushed back across the fine black vest he wears over a brown-furred torso, Yawmbo speaks little, but is surprisingly intelligent. He works as a broker, and can obtain most things for players, in return for them completing tasks for the Coldwrought Clan, though this is never explicitly stated.
2
Chief Schneek - At 24, Schneek is ancient by goblin standards. He is blind now, but could once read the fortune of the Undercity using rat bones. He despises magic users, such as The Hidden Hag, who he blames for taking his site. His eyes are made of stone.
3
High Mage Wucrut Coalbeard - 322, Wucrut is a chauvinist, old-guard High Mage who resents the introduction of women to the Bearded Consortium. He is a powerful evocation mage, and proved himself in the Battle of Skaar against the Fire Giant Legion.
4
The Hidden Hag - Deep within The Statuary Pillar, amongst its hallways of petrified humanoids, shifting living statues, resides a pale, veiled woman known as The Hidden Hag. None have seen her face, though rumors speak of looking upon her resulting in the many statues around her abode. She keeps to herself, but hers is the only pillar with a good radius of emptiness around it.
5
The Stalker - The lone Lumare who makes permanent residence behind The Stalker’s Perch. He is quiet, speaks few words, but communicates mostly through his eyes. His insight is unparalleled, and he hunts down those who would cause particular trouble in the streets of The Undercity.
6
Dorgram Coldwrought, Patriarch of the Coldwrought Clan - The most dangerous man in The Undercity, Dorgram Coldwrought is 121, and has been groomed from birth to run the Coldwrought Clan. He is merciless, speaks slowly, but his words have great gravity. He always wears dull navy gloves with gold cappings around the knuckles, and around one eye is heavily tattooed to make it appear as if the flesh is peeling away to reveal bone.
Holy Places
The Undercity is a place that slows for freedom of worship, and nowhere is that more obvious than the Madruuc Lambus, undercommon for “Market of Gods.” Dug into the ground itself, a cave-like series of shafts and small caverns dedicated to the many gods that others worship. Less crime happens here, as those who defile a chamber of a deity are likely to find trouble with their followers.
Within the boundaries of The Glowing Pillar and Fort Taram that has risen up to house the dwarven refugees of Kol Taram, there is a simple stone church known as “Last Hearth,” a simple place to keep the flame of the Dawnfather’s Horizon Cathedral burning while the city is under siege.
Just outside of the city, in a cave that requires spider climb to access, there is a large altar designated for Lolth, and many drow slip away in secret to worship here.
A City of Factions
The huge, 100’ wide pillars that support the weight of Mount Taram above this system of gargantuan drains generally form the center points for factions, though not always. To call any of these groups outside of The Coldwrought Clan and the Red Cap Goblins organized is a stretch, but each of these groups has the resources, manpower, or prestige to lay claim to at least a small slice of The Undercity.
The Shadow Scavs
The Undercity was born of need; those who could never find a place amongst the elitist dwarves above, moved to a place where they could rise up as high as any other. Many did not wish to move below, however, bought south the help of those in dark places to get materials restricted to them. These people came to be known as The Shadow Scavengers, or Shadowscavs for short.
They are a motley group of thieves, smugglers, and fences with the occasional use of Autis, a warforged enforcer usually hidden beneath a large jacket and hat, to protect magical items. Their symbol is a pair of crossed, upside down pickaxes.
Ally Benefits:
- Material costs for smithing-related projects are reduced by 15%
- You may purchase the Rat Tunnels map from any Shadowscav leader for 10gp
Stoneguard
A small contingent of Stoneguard, the law keeping force and military of Kol Taram above, escorted refugees down to the Undercity. They currently man Fort Taram, the Gateway Garrison, and a small defensive position outside of The Pillar of Stairs to safeguard against any scouts from the invasion above.
They are hardy warriors, with stone-coated half-plate and either two-handed mauls or one-handed war-hammers and shields. Their leader is The Stonewarden, Vaddarus, a younger male dwarf who always plays it safe.
Ally Benefits:
- You may be accompanied by a Stoneguard about the boundaries of the Undercity if you wish. They will provide you with some protection from the Red Cap goblins and various other entities.
- Access to the Stoneguard Armory, which sells basic armor and weapons at 10% off the base market price.
The Coldwrought Clan
Of all the factions in the Undercity, The Couldwrought Clan is the most powerful and the most dangerous. The actual family members of the Coldwrought Clan number maybe two dozen, but they employ countless other dwarves, goblins, kenku, drow, and anyone else willing to back their clan up for the price of a little gold.
Led by Dorgram Coldwrought, the family patriarch, they grow wealth with hidden desires to take back the citadel above that cast them down.
Ally Benifts:
- You can hire a Coldwrought Enforcer at the price of 5gp a day.
- You may stay at The Dark Hive free of charge, with one fine meal per day included.
The Bearded Consortium
Once one of the two primary powers within Kol Taram, The Bearded Consortium has stood for 500 years as a men-only convocation of powerful magic users, primarily wizards. They are powerful evocation magic users, but have flaunted more political power than actual magic in recent centuries.
In a large upset of tradition, with the fall of Kol Taram, Zelga Stonestaf, a female dwarf, has been made a full member. In this time of desperation, many welcome to powerful, blunt woman who wears a porcelain mask.
Ally Benefits:
- -10% to all components needed for a spell tagged as evocation.
- Access to the Consortium Militia armory, where scrolls of spell levels 1-3 can be purchased, at the DMs discretion.
The Six Great Pillars
As said before, the easiest way to break up the ever-shifting mass of humanoids that make up The Undercity is by the most proximate Great Pillar to their location.
The pillars themselves have been carved and built into over time, with the Goblin Gabbles being the most haphazardly worked and porous-looking, and the Pillar of Stairs being the most well-kept. It’s difficult to break down the pillar neighborhoods in terms of economic lines, but those who live within The Dark Hive tend to be very wealthy; those who live around the People’s Pillar count themselves as the most squalid in an already poor town.
Getting Around
While The Undercity is not massive in terms of it’s horizontal footprint, many of the pillars have carved stairs, and ascend stories into the dark with warrens, housing, and even small shops for those who know where to look. While it takes no more than two hours to walk from end-to-end, climbing to the top of The People’s Pillar may take nearly a day for those unfamiliar. As a general rule of thumb:

• It takes approximately 30 minutes to walk from one pillar’s neighborhood to the next.
• Climbing a Pillar takes approximately 15 minutes a story once it’s familiar to a traveler.

Statuary Pillar Locations
Place
Description
The Stoneyard
A church-like building of old casketwood, and fenced in areas of earth where the dead are interred. The Stoneyard is a gravesite that is backset by the Statuary, and even features statues scavenged from within the Statuary pillar itself. Part of the trio of reputedly haunted buildings that make up Quarry Row.
The Gentle Repose
At one time, The Repose was a beautiful structure, built to house the noble Clan Grandcrest who all succumbed to madness. The one beautiful, Victorian-style home has now been transformed into a hotel, of sorts, though ghosts can frequently be seen walking through walls to different rooms.
Goblin Gables Locations
Place
Description
Deek’s Cart
Every Wednesday, Deek, a meek, skittish goblin, will bring a wheelbarrow-sized cart of belongings stolen by the Red Cap goblins to the Dark Market, but those in the know will tell you that Deek lives under the Goblin Gables. He even deals directly with the Shadowscavs.
Pillar of the People Locations
Place
Description
Bloodworm Farm
One of the few edible things deep underground that grow readily are blood worms, each about four inches long and the width of a middle finger. They are protein rich and taste very iron-heavy. They are grown in troughs, and eat both dead organic matter and rust.
Commoner’s Infirmary
A large tent, similar to a circus tent, though its slowly become a more permanent fixture in The People’s Pillar neighborhood. It is a field hospital, with a limited supply of medicine and an even more limited number of people trained in the healing arts.
Mudbath House
The earthy, deep pits of thermally heated mud. For an added fee, they can even properly wash after.
The Glowing Pillar Locations
Place
Description
Ireworks
The single forge now operates on behalf of the Taram Resistance. It expands slowly but surely, all the wire pumping out armor and weapons night and day.
Kevin
Kevin is a kenku who has set up a tent on the outskirts of The Glowing Pillar neighborhood. Most of what he has is junk, but now and then, he seems to come by a treasure or two.
Undercut
A general store that sells damaged and broken goods well below market price.
Rois Quarry
A large, three layer deep quarry for mining grey granite for bricks.
The Bleedin’ Stout
Named for its signature drink, The Bleedin’ Stout is a traditional dwarvish drinking hall, with a large chandelier, and features a sort of bloodworm pasta with a red pepper sauce that burns the iron flavor right out.
The Training Yard
Amidst the buildings of Fort Taram, there is a large stone courtyard dedicated to 24-hour combat exercises.
The Dark Hive Locations
Place
Description
The Dark Hive
The Dark Hive itself is one party casino, one part sprawling hotel/dungeon that houses The Coldwrought Clan’s interests. On the fifth story of the tower is the Coldwrought Apartments, where the crime family lives, and deals with their top clients.
The Dark Market
Under careful watch from the Coldwrought enforcers, every Wednesday sees a large
Square of Might
To the west of the pillar proper, perhaps ten minutes walk, is a large, iron cube. There are vents on the top, which allow steam from the gathered crowd to escape. Within, there are seats for roughly 60 people, and a raised marble square where organized fights take place.
The Gourmand’s Kitchen
This small, eight-seat establishment operates within Coldwrought territory, and provides one meal a week, every Friday Night. It is highly exclusive, and few know what occurs within these walls… there are rumors that many of the items on the menu are harvested from the streets of The Undercity and beyond...
Further, due to the nature of The Undercity (violent and volatile) many shops rise and fall quickly, or change locations. The following merchants may be located anywhere within The Undercity, or not at all, at the DM’s discretion.
d6
Merchant
1
The Shoddy Scholar - A small shop filled with second-hand books piled on every available surface. Run by the deep gnome Gildroby Middleweasle who knows exactly where every title is, and exactly what's in stock. Specializes in fiction.
2
Feathered Lands - A tiny store, with a single drafting table, a desk, and a few shelves of rolled up, large, scrolls. Mi-Zhan, a middle-aged drow woman shaved bald, though constantly fussing with her head, can create and provide maps of Underdark locations.
3
Hchvat Marganum - Infernal for “Blown Glass”, Hchvat Marganum is just that: a glass blower. Owned by the tiefling Partillin, proud and sarcastic, it can produce glass of master quality.
4
Liquid Courage - A medium-sized Inn of a poor quality. Ownership frequently changes (at least once a week), resulting in odd, mis-matched decor.
5
The All Sleeper’s Domain - A medium-sized tent with comfortable pillows piled throughout. 10gp will get you a pleasant dose of Dreamer’s Stick, a minty, chewy reed that can induce a hallucinatory dream state. Many can’t quite remember where they’ve left all their things when they leave.
6
Cadence’s Tattoo Parlor - Always moving, the rapid-speaking, stream-of-consciousness speaking tiefling, Cadence Clearwater runs a tattoo parlor wherever somebody can track her down. She specializes in a tattoo that can summon a semi-spectral familiar (1,000gp, plus the ashes of 10gp worth of incense, herbs, and charcoal.) once per day.
Dungeons of The Undercity
The Undercity, by its very nature, might be considered a dungeon, depending on your disposition and willingness to overlook rampant violence. However, there are areas in both the developed pillar communities and the surrounding caverns that present particularly perilous settings.
The Statuary
Though the hag who is rumored to wander the halls of the pillar known as The Statuary has expressed nothing more than a desire to be left alone, the statues that dot the hallways, rooftop, and even surrounding The Statuary itself, were all adventurers, criminals, or sight-seekers who ignored her wishes and sought the various treasures said to remain from the Drow military outfit that used to inhabit the tower. The pillar itself was designed to be defended, with a pair of staircases twisting around each other through the center, visible to each level that passes. Not all statues remain still, either; gargoyles, mimics, and ropers all take residence here.
Stone Giant Settlement
Behind large piles of stones that obscure the settlement proper from the other side of the Broken Bridge, are massive steps that lead to a sunken-in portion of earth, hiding the true height of the giant’s large community-structure: similar to a pyramid, though each brick features fine linework to give the entire thing the appearance of being made my miniature stones. Within lives a small community of stone giants, who call themselves Draj-Larc, “The Dark Dwellers” in giantese. They live a quiet, secluded life, and seek to elevate their home to even finer heights, the leader chosen every 500 days by who has provided the most improvement to their lair.
The Dark Hive
An appropriate name for a complex, five-story-high maze of apartments, functional rooms, workshops, and storage areas. The Coldwrought Clan runs the entire structure, though as it expands ever-upward, even they don’t know the true extent of the pillar’s workings anymore. Many of those missing from the uneven streets of The Undercity still live (in the better scenarios) within The Dark Hive. Past the first level, which is largely a dark, smokey casino, intruders will be met with fierce resistance from the Coldwrought Clan and those in their employ. The complex nature of The Dark Hive does carry with it one advantage: There are no means to sound an effective alarm outside of a very localized area.