Your 16-minute Tuesday report in 3971 words.
WarGonzo reporter Semyon Pegov shares info about Shushi, Armenian drones, Azeri snipers, Israeli tech:
Shushi battles The battles for Shushi were very heavy. At some point, Armenians mobilized and brought many soldiers. Hundreds have died in and around Shushi. With the presence of peacekeepers, it's possible to recover the bodies. This is tedious work.
Armenians had some 200 soldiers in Shushi at the time of signing the document on November 9th. They were mostly in two areas: the hill with a cross and the prison building. The reinforcements with 400 soldiers were supposed to arrive in the morning but at 5 am they were told that the war was stopped.
When were Azeris able to infiltrate Shushi? On November 6th I was in Shushi and there was not a single Azeri, despite fake news from Azeri media about raising a flag. Around 4 pm we moved to outskirt near Qarin Tak, which was already a "buffer zone".
Army spokesman Artsrun Hovhannisyan was telling the truth about the battles around Shushi. I was there and saw it myself. We got caught up in a firefight when Armenians were cleaning up the outskirt on November 6th.
Around 20 special forces tried to infiltrate Shushi. Armenians used drones to locate and conduct airstrike against them. There were also Armenian drones with bombs that were supposed to be used. Around this time our group of reporters had to leave Shushi because it was dangerous.
Then another - much larger - group of infiltrator special forces were discovered. They attacked the highway and tried to infiltrate but were stopped. That night, on the morning of November 7th, around six professional snipers infiltrated the city and kept the street under fire.
Six snipers cannot control a city, yet Aliyev claimed the city was already under their control. Those snipers were countered with Armenian anti-sniper units. Some of the infiltrators were killed. On November 7th Shushi was "cleared" of these infiltrators.
More groups kept approaching Shushi through the Hell Gorge while being mauled by hundreds and hundreds of Armenian artillery strikes. As we know, Aliyev doesn't care about his soldiers' lives. When the Azeri public learns about their death toll, they will suffer not a mild but a real shock [gyorbagyor2020].
Huge forces were concentered on Shushi. They were brought there from Nakhijevan and other fronts. Azeris began retreating under Martuni because they couldn't sustain the entire front with so much focus on Shushi.
They gave over a thousand deaths to capture Shushi. On the rocky outskirt of Shushi, I saw over a hundred Azeri bodies in this location alone, in that day alone. There were battles in multiple routes towards Shushi.
The highway entering Shushi was captured by Azeris on November 8th. Armenians bypassed the captured area by going near Hell Gorge then moving north towards Shushi. Here, they killed hundreds of Azeris.
Armenians took positions near Shushi's radio towers about 2km away and shot at Azeris almost in a straight line. Not only artillery was being used, but also types of weapons I cannot disclose right now. I can only say SCUD was also used by Armenians.
Nonetheless, some Azeri groups managed to infiltrate on November 8th. It wasn't completely captured by them. Those who left Shushi upon the arrival of Russian peacekeepers can verify this. Shushi was likely lost politically. I don't say this to throw rocks at politicians.
I don't know for how long Armenian resources could defend Shushi, but they could hold on to it for some time. I don't know whether it would end with a bigger tragedy or victory, though.
About the talk that "Russia abandoned Armenia" Russia couldn't get directly involved because of Artsakh's non-independent status and the need to be balanced as an OSCE mediator. Russia sent military aid, weapons, consultation during the war. Pashinyan also mentioned this.
I have reasons to believe that the air above Stepanakert was "closed" for Bayraktars with the help of Russia. No Russian forces would do this without the Russian govt's permission. It's my assumption. Although it was for a brief period, I think it helped to save Stepanakert and other parts of Artsakh.
plot twist: Israeli drones The drones began working again around November 8th. It had a direct impact on the November 9th signing of the agreement. These drones, however, were not Bayraktars. The Israeli drones were earlier "hacked" and could be geolocated. Israelis found a way to close the hole and use these kamikaze drones again.
The defense needed time to bypass the new Israeli protections, but there was no time anymore. You could say Israeli weapons played a crucial role in this war.
who won? Israel is the only true winner here. They sold drones, helped the ally, flew them close to Iran borders and "laid out groundwork" for future possible action against Iran. Erdogan is no friend of Iran considering his pan-Turkic nationalist agenda.
This will benefit Israel, which considers Iran its enemy. I believe Israel helped to locate Armenian air defense systems which allowed Azeris to strike them in the first days of the war.
Armenians and Artsakh lost lands but Azerbaijan did not achieve their final goal and they failed to achieve what they have today in the timeframe that they predicated. They used Turkey's and Israel's help and couldn't defeat a small republic in 45 days. On the ground, Armenian troops were no worse than Azeris.
Does Russia win? Today there are Syrian militants hostile to Russia, closer to Russian borders. This is not a win for Russia. Sure, our peacekeepers are there and thank god for that. Artsakh locals want and trust them. Artsakh residents are "more Russian" than many Russians who live in Russia.
how the agreement was signed Putin made an ultimatum to Aliyev: either sign the document that we created together now, or "things will happen". Aliyev asked for 20 minutes to consult with Erdogan. He wanted Turkish peacekeepers stationed in front of Russian ones, on the other side of the line of contact.
In the end, no Turkish peacekeepers were stationed. This caused a serious conflict between Erdogan and Aliyev. Erdogan was expecting more.
who will live in the new adjacent lands? Probably the jihadists and Turkomans. They are poor. Karabakh will look like heaven compared to what they have today. Many of them live in Idlib, Syria, and get bombed by Russia daily. Sooner or later Assad will liberate these areas, so what do you do with the pro-Turkish Syrians in the north?
This migration could end up being bad for Azerbaijan itself. Syrians and Azeris have different lifestyles. People who have been under Sharia law for 9 years will move to a secular Islamic state. We already know of conflicts between Syrian mercenaries and locals in bordering Azeri villages. When their population increases, so will their ideological expansion.
Azerbaijan would need to spend lots of resources and subsidies to move the Azeri population there. They don't even have a road to Shushi. They need time to build one. Even when it's built, I don't think Azeris will leave their cities en-masse to move to live in an area close to the conflict zone.
Rustam Muradov The chief peacekeeper is the Hero of Russia Rustam Muradov. He is a fighter. He worked on peace between Ukraine and Donbas, has fought in Syria, helped to liberate Palmyra and Deir-ez-Zor (the toughest region with lots of ISIS). He fought against men whom Aliyev and Erdogan brought from Syria, so to suggest that he could be pro-Azeri just because he is from Dagestan is wrong.
partisans I met a 60-year old Artsakhtsi grandpa with a rifle who was headed to the front line. If you think he will go to Yerevan, build a house, and forget about the loss of his home, then you have no idea who these people are. Expect a partisan war. I won't be surprised if Armenians infiltrate deep within Azeri-controlled regions and cause problems for local administration.
status I don't know international law but I think Armenia or Artsakh should vote and recognize a legal status for Artsakh. Putin said it's hard to help Artsakh if Armenia hasn't officially recognized it. Russia helped Crimea after it voted for independence. It's my personal opinion.
https://youtu.be/xYXhAJEgzQc videos: artillery strikes near Shushi
Armenian soldiers shared a video that claims that Iskander (or other sources say SCUD) and Smerch were used against Azeris on Shushi outskirts. [the fired general Movses Hakobyan had also claimed Armenians used Iskander but didn't specify when and where]
https://youtu.be/vPUb8Puf3E8 https://youtu.be/v29U_i3ANTY Corruption Prevention Committee asks Parliament to suspend Tsarukyan
Pashinyan administration created the Corruption Prevention Committee (CPC) institute last year to fight corruption. It consists of 4 board members: 1 nominated by the ruling party, 2 by opposition parties, 1 by the judicial branch.
Its job is to find a conflict of interest and vet public officials. CPC has asked the Parliament to consider taking action against BHK leadeMP Gagik Tsarukyan.
The Parliament voted to ask the Constitutional Court to strip Tsarukyan from his MP mandate. Tsarukyan is accused of running a business empire (Multi Group, etc.), which is against the law that prohibits MPs from simultaneously being businessmen due to conflict of interest.
Tsarukyan argues his allies are running his companies and they make all the decisions, and that this is a political witch-hunt against him. His critics point out that he even "slipped up" a few times and "admitted" that he still runs the companies.
[Tsarukyan is Armenia's known wealthiest man and a former oligarch (many argue he still is) who runs multiple companies while maintaining political power. Earlier this year he was charged with buying voters in the 2017 elections and tax evasion. That investigation began in 2019 from an unrelated incident, in which a construction company, allied with Tsarukyan, paid a bribe to Yerevan official. The NSS raided the construction company and found paperwork, including names, allegedly showing that the company was paid by Tsarukyan to buy voters in 2017. There was at least one witness testimony.
In a separate incident, Tsarukyan's right-hand man Arustamyan was charged with paying a large bribe to the former regime (UCOM case) to exempt Tsarukyan's business from taxation. The same right-hand-man was also charged with stealing large sums from the budget meant for building the North-South highway in Armenia.]
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https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201575 politics & molitics
12:45: the former Constitutional Court judge Kim Balayan (the judge in
WikiLeaks case who was reportedly influenced by Kocharyan regime in 2008) has joined opposition ARF leader Gegham Manukyan and will hold a hunger strike. He demands Pashinyan's resignation.
He believes Pashinyan did not have the right to sign the agreement without the Constitutional Court's approval. [other believe it's merely a statement rather than a legally binding agreement].
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https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201529 14:20: The Justice Ministry, Armenian representative in the European Court for Human Rights, the NSS, and the Central Bank held a meeting to discuss legal steps regarding Azerbaijan's involvement of Syrian jihadists in the war.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035757.html 14:40: Himnadram released a report about the donation fund. $53m has already been transferred to state coffers.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035761.html 15:07: the government shakeup continues. Finance Minister Tigran Khachatryan and deputy Defense Minister Makar Ghambaryan are out.
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https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201558 15:10: Education Ministry will issue grants to nine schools located near borders to reinforce their security walls and built bomb shelters. The "Safe school" project was launched in 2019 and has helped 6 schools so far.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035767.html 16:17: Mother See of Holy Ejmiatsin church will form a new office tasked with working with international colleagues to protect Armenian religions and cultural sights that are under Azeri control.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035774.html 17:01: ruling QP party held a session. Artsakh President Arayik was also present to discuss the Artsakh aid topic. Opposition media had earlier circulated rumors that Arayik wants to resign, which is why he went to Moscow yesterday to discuss the "terms". The ruling party said no such topic was discussed during today's meeting.
The party discussed ways to keep families informed about missing soldiers. "Instead of having them go from one building to another, they should stay home and we should inform them twice a day about the progress," said a QP MP.
Three QP MPs will travel to Russia for meetings.
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201556 ,
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201553 18:28: Pashinyan presented the new Education Minister Vahram Dumanyan. "We need to reform our mentality to achieve our goals," said the Pashinyan.
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201566 21:38: when will the government end the Martial Law? When the army sends a clear signal that it's OK to do so, said a ruling party MP. They will hold a Parliamentary discussion tomorrow. The opposition parties have been asking for its suspension because it prevents them from holding legal demonstrations.
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201586 21:59: the police found Kalashnikov and 100 bullets in a car during a checkpoint stop in Yerevan. Several similar incidents were recorded across Armenia.
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https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035807.html Withdrawal from "Kelbajar"
Armenian troops began withdrawing from the north-western part, which is one of the 7 adjacent regions to Nagorno-Karabakh. They took the "Welcome to Artsakh" sign with them so Azeris wouldn't vandalize. The process is monitored by the Red Cross.
The army also blew up a military facility before leaving.
Boom:
https://youtu.be/2grJnVYB47w Withdrawal video:
https://youtu.be/AXz1AWBTbg8 Patrick Lancaster interviews soldiers in Artsakh:
https://youtu.be/-cpWoQ0AfpY https://factor.am/313594.html foreign response & diplomacy
The French city of Դեսին-Շարպիո has urged the govt to officially recognize Artsakh. The resolution mentions Azerbaijan's recruitment of Syrian jihadists and war crimes against Artsakh civilians.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035739.html Spanish Congress has accepted another resolution from Jon Inarritu, who stayed in Artsakh during the war.
The resolution reaffirms deep friendship with the Armenian people, emphasizes the need to protect Armenian cultural and religious centers in the territories under Azeri control
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035726.html MFA Ayvazyan discussed Artsakh topic with the Deputy Secretary of State Biegun.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035802.html President Sarkissian visited Jordan where he met King Abdallah and the local Armenian community.
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https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201514 Putin called Pashinyan and Aliyev to discuss Artsakh and details from the recent visit of the Russian envoy to AM and AZ.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035793.html choo choo, mothe******r
Yerevan is still working on purchasing new buses so you won't bend over to a complete stranger for half an hour in marshutka. The competition to win a license to build the buses will begin next month.
Two companies participated in the first bid earlier. None were accepted due to poor technical specifications and lack of documents.
Meanwhile, Yerevan is also importing mid-sized 8-meter buses larger than marshutkas but smaller than the regular long buses.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035773.html 2021 is canceled, forever 2020
Yerevan municipality was supposed to spend $210,000 on New Year's celebrations. They decided to give it to Stepanakert for infrastructure repairs. Additionally, several organizations run by Yerevan will have their budgets slashed and redirected to Stepanakert.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035741.html sappers & aid
Russian sappers continue to remove the mines from the main roads, settlements, and in between their outposts. The risky areas will be mapped. Sappers received equipment from Russia.
The second convoy of Russian humanitarian aid with 22 trucks has arrived in Artsakh.
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https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201569 edited videos
NSS has found that some of the videos recently circulated from Azerbaijan, allegedly showing Armenian POWs, were fake. Some were designed for psychological warfare. The agency urges internet users not to take everything they come across on social media for granted.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035727.html wine from Hadrut
"Kataro" wine is produced in Artsakh's Hadrut region which is occupied by Azerbaijan. The product is now considered scarcity, so those who own some bottles began selling it for 5x the price.
https://www.panarmenian.net/arm/news/288039/ two churches
Dadivank and Amaras are two famous Armenian churches from the early Christian period. They are located outside of Nagorno-Karabakh territory per-1990s map, therefor the area has to go under Azeri control. Russian Kommersant outlet was able to verify that the two monasteries are under Russian peacekeepers' control.
www.civilnet.am/news/2020/11/24/Ամարասը-ռուս-խաղաղապահների-վերահսկողության-ներքո-է/409602 process to find missing soldiers & POWs
The process to find POWs and bodies continues. The Red Cross will spend $49m in the Karabakh area instead of the planned $11m. They'll hire 500 more workers.
"Both sides can find the bodies within their territories, but they cannot collect them from the buffer zone," said Red Cross. Today they visited Armenian POWs in Azerbaijan.
Families of missing soldiers gathered in front of the Defense Ministry then the Russian embassy with the hope to learn news about their relatives. They wrote a letter to Russia asking to secure the ability to collect bodies from areas under Azeri control.
"The process of exchanging prisoners depends first of all on the Azerbaijani side. We will work with international colleagues," said Artsakh HR Ombudsman Beglaryan.
Artsakh MFA met Red Cross representatives to discuss the process of finding missing soldiers.
Pashinyan met the family members of missing soldiers and POWs to discuss the location, identification and searching process.
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https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201592 20-year-long monthly aid for soldiers' families
104 families of fallen soldiers have already received aid from "1000plus" Soldiers' Insurance Fund. The Fund processes only several dozen cases a week because the process requires familial/marital relation verification and document collection. The local authorities will help to expedite the process.
Families of deceased or 1st-degree disabled soldiers receive a one-time 10 million Drams ($21,000), followed by a monthly $400-$600 payments for the next 20 years. Those with less severe disabilities receive half of the aforementioned aid. Those with over 3 children receive an extra $200/mo.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035754.html Workers in Armenia are required to pay 1000 Drams from paycheck towards the "1000plus" Soldier's Fund. The Fund had earlier urged businesses to "double" the amount by matching whatever is paid by workers. Dozens of businesses join this initiative every week. "Some large businesses began responding. This could encourage others."
(you can donate at
www.1000plus.am)
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035758.html they protect the land
The army awarded several soldiers for acts of bravery. Lt Colonel Balayan organized a defense and reconnaissance, destroyed 1 tank, 1 armored vehicle, and 1 transport vehicle.
Private Verdyan evacuated wounded soldiers while under enemy fire.
Dozens more:
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201537 The History Museum of Armenia is collecting photos of soldiers who died fighting, as part of an archive to be presented later.
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201588 watch out, this kid will rip you off
$2 for a single walnut? NAY. $2 for a single walnut with proceeds donated to soldiers? SIGN ME UP.
Armavir resident Vahe has been selling walnuts. He collected 4 million Drams for soldiers.
Interview with Vahe:
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201580 nature protection
The Nature Ministry found 28 instances of businesses illegally exploiting or harming nature between November 2-13. They were issued 13 million in penalties.
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201572 regional kerfuffle
Erdogan is under internal pressure by opposition again over the worsening economy and COVID response. "If we don't implement a 2-week quarantine, things will go under control."
UNICEF 2020 placed Turkey at the bottom when it comes to working with children. A third of children are poor. Only 53% are happy with their lives; 90% in Netherland, 89% in Mexico.
720,000 kids are part of child labor, some as little as 5 years of age.
11,446 is the number of 16-year-olds who married last year. "Even in Ottoman Empire the age of marriage was 17 for girls and 18 for boys," says opposition.
Internal and foreign debt exceeded 1 trillion Liras in 2018, and 1.9 trillion in 2020. "Bad borrowing policy led to an extra 135 billion Lira debt. This is what Erdogan's presidential system and his son-in-law's stubbornness brought us."
Turkish Lira began strengthening after Erdogan's son-in-law Borat Albayrak left the Minister's position. However, Lira began declining again on November 23th, reaching 8.58 per $1.
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https://factor.am/313768.html Armenia's GDP under COVID
GDP shrank by -9.1% in 3Q year-over-year.
It grew +39% (thirty-nine) in 3Q compared to 2Q, due to post-COVID lockdown recovery.
In the July-September period, the GDP Per Capita was $1,212.
Share of GDP by industry in 3Q: agriculture & fishing 17%, Manufacturing Industry 12%, trade & auto repair 11%, construction 7%, real estate 7%, financial & insurance 6%.
Full:
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035718.html inflation & economy
As the economists predicted earlier, the COVID, war, and devaluation of neighboring countries' currencies will put pressure on the Armenian Dram. Too valuable means the products you produce are non-competitive abroad, while cheap Dram means social issues for the general population. It needs to be balanced.
Today $1 was worth 512 Drams, compared to 495 last month. The Central Bank says they're monitoring the trend and will take steps to keep the prices and financial stability.
"We also had some devaluation in the initial COVID period. Today we have some uncertainty, which contributes to devaluation. Investors are less likely to use the resources. However, inflation will be manageable. It's within the limit set by the Central Bank," said a Parliamentary official Artak Manukyan.
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https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035791.html free breast cancer drugs
Earlier this year, the Healthcare Ministry began providing free "Her2" breast cancer medication to women. 132 patients are being treated. "They receive treatment in accordance with international guidelines. In the coming years, will be healthy and return to their daily lives fully."
Before the medication became free, 40% of women would reject the treatment due to high costs. This would lead to metastasis within 2 years. A 12-month treatment will reduce the chance of metastasis by 50%.
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https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1007671.html don't waste water
A subsidized infrastructure upgrade in Lusaghbyur will allow villagers to expand irrigated lands by 35 hectares, reduce water usage and waste, restore a local water network. 98 farms will be connected to the network.
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201590 diasporans picking tomatoes
A group of Armenian diasporans visited Armenia to participate in a charity agricultural initiative.
https://youtu.be/s8VqOGztMSc?t=17 https://hetq.am/hy/article/124678 sports news
Something happened, and soccer star Henrikh Mkhitaryan began playing well again. 8 games, 5 goals, 4 goal passes for Parma. The fans declared him the best player in the match against Parma.
There is talk about extending his contract with Roma by the end of this year, says La Gazzetta Dello Sport.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035725.html ,
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035764.html Skilling Open 2020 chess tournament continues among the top players. Levon Aronyan is at 12th place. Dutch Anish Giri continues to lead.
The tournament was created by Magnus Carlsen. Executive director Magnus Carlsen. Producer Magnus Carlsen. В главных ролях, Магнус Карлсен.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035724.html COVID stats & news
+1977 tested. +813 infected. +26 deaths. +3845 healed. 26069 active.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035729.html Healthcare Ministry: the numbers from the past week indicate a reduction of infections. We went from 2k daily cases during the war, to 1.4k nowadays. We saw this decline during the first wave, too. It's possible that it could rise again, so stay vigilant.
70-80% of the population would need to be infected for there to be a collective immunity. Our known cases are only 127k.
The WHO is aware of 6 instances of "double-infection". Its definition isn't clear right now. We don't know if they are were infected again or the first infection was never properly treated.
Already-infected people should also follow safety precautions: wash your hands, wear a mask, stay away from others. We're headed to the flu season in addition to COVID.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035721.html Five experts from WHO traveled to Armenia to help treat patients in serious condition.
https://www.armtimes.com/hy/article/201565 New COVID rules for funeral services. The director will have to appoint a supervisor responsible for sanitizing the area, ensuring there is running water, air ventilation three times a day, etc.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035749.html Russia will involve 40,000 volunteers this year to test the SPUTNIK 5 corona-vaccine. The initial results indicate a 91.4% success rate within 28 days and 95% within 42 days.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1035790.html you can help Artsakh & Armenia
www.1000plus.am (soldiers' medical help)
www.HimnaDram.org (for Artsakh & Armenia)
www.ArmeniaFund.org (U.S. tax-deductible)
archive of older posts
Previous:
https://www.reddit.com/armenia/comments/jzr2gk/nov232020_news_wrapup_war_in_artsakh_karabakh/ Armeniapedia has been archiving my daily threads
: http://www.armeniapedia.org/wiki/Daily_Anti-Corruption_Reports The Shadows of Chester Mine The Abstract Hallway Candace's Disappearing Dog The Crying Lady Plastic Daddy The Family Business The Black Sun The Return to Chester Mine These are the records of Sam Parks. They will be posted in chronological order, though they can, for the most part, be read in any. For your benefit, I am only posting the ones where we observed unusual phenomena. For every noteworthy one, there were many more strikeouts.
As the logs are a haphazard combination of writings, pictures, videos, and personal memory, I am going to write them out in a more narrative format to make them easier to digest. However, these are not stories, all the events in them are completely factual to the best of my knowledge. Names of some locations have been changed to protect you from yourself.
Sammy would have wanted me to share these, and so I do.
In loving memory of Samantha Parks. You will never be forgotten.
--
“Holy shit, I knew your mom was loaded but like…”
I hadn’t been home in a while, and mostly didn’t think about it much. But seeing Sam’s reaction to the estate reminded me of just how abnormal my childhood had been. I guess some would call me lucky, and in a sense I was.
I didn’t feel lucky though. My mom was pretty much good for one thing and one thing only: sending me money. Aside from that I barely spoke to the bitch.
We pulled the jeep into the expansive driveway and the automated gate closed behind us. Some dude, one of mom’s goons, was waiting for us near the entrance to the house. No, house doesn’t do it credit. It was a fucking mansion by any definition.
Escorted in, I reluctantly handed off the keys to some lackey and we arrived in the dining room. It was just like I remembered it. And unfortunately, Brandon was there. I knew he’d be present, that was part of the reason I hadn’t wanted to come.
The brat was insufferable.
But mom hadn’t made it a choice. She said she’d break my god damned legs if I didn’t come. Her words, not mine. And I believed her.
“Hey bro.”
The kid was glued to a Nintendo Switch or something and didn’t even bother to reply. Just as well, really.
No sight of mom though, just an overly large empty room. I wondered what sort of wheeling and dealing had gone down in this place since I had moved out. I didn’t really want to know or particularly care, but as Sam and I sat there waiting for her to show up, it was hard not to pass the time by speculating in my head.
“Are you going to introduce me to your brother?” Sam’s question was annoying.
“No.”
“I didn’t know you even had a brother.”
I don’t know exactly what look I gave her, but I remember what I said. “I don’t have a brother.”
She seemed a bit taken aback. “It’s complicated. I’ll explain later.” It was very complicated, but it didn’t occur to me how harsh my words must have sounded at the time.
I’m not sure if I should have been thankful or not, but my mother interrupted the awkward mood by finally deciding to show up. She looked like her normal botox infused self. I’m quite certain I was practically grunting as she came in.
And of course she was happy to see me, and greeted us with all her usual charm. If only.
“What the hell is she doing here?” She was scowling at Sam as she said it. Mom was such a nice person.
I didn’t even answer, I really didn’t care. She sat her liposuctioned ass down and got to the reason we’d been dragged into this hellhole as quickly as she could. Butlers and waiters, or whatever she chose to call them, scurried about like ants serving us something they presumably called food. I’d rather have gone to McDonalds, but whatever.
They hadn’t been expecting Sam, so they had to prepare another serving, but I gave her mine. I didn’t mind waiting, I wasn’t that hungry anyways.
“You all are going to Germany.”
I remember watching Sam poke at the steak as I tried to comprehend my mom’s words. “Germany?”
“Your flight leaves in three hours. Your new apartment is already bought and furnished, all you have to do is take a cab from the airport in Hamburg.”
I didn’t know what this was all about, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to Germany.
“What the fuck, mom? I don’t speak German, and neither does Sam.” I had barely even processed her statement. “Why the hell do you think I am just going to hop on a flight to another country? You barely ever talk to me, and now you expect me to just blindly leave my home?” I didn’t even realize I was shouting until I saw the look on Sam’s face.
“Mr Baker will escort you both to the airport. You will not miss your flight, no matter your opinions on the topic.”
“Mom, I’m not going to god damned Germany!” Brandon seemed completely disengaged from the conversation. “Especially not with him!” I added.
The old witch snapped her fingers though and some of her men who had been waiting in the wings placed an envelope in front of my so called brother and I. He ignored his, but I poked through it quickly while Sam watched.
A plane ticket, a passport, an EU one no less, and a bunch of other arcane documents.
I couldn’t help but notice that the name on all of them wasn’t mine. Apparently, I was now Kevin Harding, born in America but a citizen of Germany as well due to my father being a citizen and my birth occurring there.
“What the hell is this?” I should never have come to this sordid event.
“You all aren’t safe here. You’ll be safer in Europe, you can come back when things settle down.” Sam hadn’t said a word during this entire exchange. She had stopped eating, and was just listening.
Sometimes I forgot just how weird my fucking family really is, but seeing her reaction to everything that was happening reminded me.
“Don’t worry Sam, we’re not going to Hamburg.” I tried to reassure her, I could see the confusion in her eyes.
My mom managed to turn even that little attempt on its head though. “You’re right, she’s definitely not going. You know how long it takes to get these documents made? And in the system, no less? Used to be you could just get by with the papers but now everything has to match the computer records.”
“Sam, lets go.” It wasn’t the first time I had initiated a forced retreat with my girlfriend, but of all the things I’d run away from, my mom might have been the most infuriating.
Mr Baker blocked our path though, his huge frame filling the door from the room.
“Get the fuck out of the way.” He didn’t budge.
I recall giving my mom the angriest look I’d probably ever thrown her direction. “You aren’t fucking serious? Tell me you aren’t serious.”
She just picked at her nails as she responded. “You’re a liability here at the moment. It won’t be forever, you’ll be back again soon enough.” She tried to put on the fakest smile I’ve ever encountered. “Go have some fun. It’s Europe, see the world or something.”
“I’m not going anywhere without Sam! Do you not understand that? Are you retarded?”
She didn’t seem happy about my outburst. “Listen, you’re getting on that fucking plane or I swear to god I’ll have Mr Baker beat the ever living shit out of your little fuck puppy.” I looked at the huge man. Knowing mom, she probably wasn’t lying either. My supposed brother still just sat there, playing some game, completely unengaged with everything occurring.
“I hate you. Why don’t you just fucking die.” I couldn’t hold my words back. But she’d heard them before, and took them in stride.
“You can hate me on the plane. It’s first class so you can drink your tears away like the little shit you are.” She looked at Mr Baker. “Time to go.”
He apparently knew exactly what to do, and soon Brandon and I were being escorted to one of my mother’s uncountable number of cars. I didn’t even get a chance to kiss Sam goodbye.
I texted her furiously as we were driven to the airport. She said she was going to go back to the apartment for now. She had the jeep at least. I messaged her back that we’d find a way to reconnect. I’d buy her a ticket to Germany or something.
It took a long time for her to reply.
I can’t leave my family. The words stung unlike anything I had ever experienced.
I wasn’t sure what to type next. “Sam, please, I don’t want to be alone in a foreign country.”
Another uncomfortable period of time lapsed before the ping of her reply came. “Your mom said you’d be coming back. I’ll wait for you.”
I didn’t want to wait. But apparently that meant almost nothing.
It was hard to blame Sam, her grandmother was on her deathbed and wasn’t expected to last another month. She had a tenuous relationship with her parents and siblings, something I could relate to. Sam had been trying to make amends and recuperate what little was left of her connections with her kin as she could over the last few years.
I’d always tried to be supportive, and I suppose in a sense that had backfired on me. But I couldn’t just change my tune now.
“I understand.” I hated every letter, even if it was just a text message. “I’ll return as soon as I am able.”
I pretty much intended to immediately book a return flight from the airport the moment I got there. No fucking way was I going through with this insanity. My mom didn’t even have enough respect to tell me why she was shipping me off to the far ends of the earth.
I just sat there quietly as we made the remainder of the drive to the airport. Whoever this thug of mom’s was didn’t say a word as he drove Brandon and I there. I half expected he’d probably be on the flight with us too, just to make sure we made it to our destination.
Fucking mom, that god damned bitch.
Sure enough, he accompanied us at every step of the check in and boarding process. Like some shaved headed bouncer right out of a cartoon or something. Didn’t look like someone I wanted to mess with, but I also wasn’t sure how much I cared anymore. He surely couldn’t fuck me up in the middle of an airport terminal.
“I’m taking a cab home.” I said the words with as much confidence as I could muster. He just smiled at me in reply.
The moment I tried to walk away, his firm grip was on my shoulder. “Your mother just wants what is best for you and your brother. You don’t realize how fortunate you are.” He gave me a penetrating stare. “Just go to Germany. It’s a nice country. You’ll like it there. Lots of pretty girls, if that’s what you’re into. Not really my thing, but I’m not one to judge.”
I wanted to ask just who the hell this guy was exactly, but I knew it would be pointless. Mom had always kept strange company.
We ate some crappy food in the airport terminal as we waited for boarding. Brandon didn’t say a damned thing, so I wasted some time chatting with our escort. “Can you at least tell me why we’re being sent away? I feel like you owe us that at least.”
“Helen doesn’t want me talking business with you. But I assure you, she isn’t doing it just to make you angry. These are difficult times.” An enigmatic response.
She had called us a liability. How the fuck could we be a liability? She was the CEO of a pharmaceutical company for god’s sake, or at whatever she called her “enterprise”. It had literally nothing to do with Brandon and I.
I decided to text Sam again to pass the time.
I tried to get away but this meathead has me by the balls. I guess I’m going to Hamburg. I’ll come back as SOON as I possibly can. Emphasis on soon, mostly for my own sake.
I waited a few minutes before sending a follow up. I was a bit surprised I hadn’t gotten a response yet.
I love you Sam, I’m sorry about all this. Still no reply. I knew it was probably nothing, but I just wanted to see a few words. Just something simple typed by her. Even if it was just “I love you too.”
So I was eager the moment I felt the vibration in my pocket. I went to check the SMS, expecting something pretty normal. A small acknowledgement at the very least.
What I saw was far different.
Help! They are breaking in the door. I called the cops but I don’t know what to do. I typed back so fast I know I made a few spelling errors along the way. I didn’t give two shits.
What’s going on, where are you? At your apartment. she replied seconds later. Then almost immediately afterward, she called. I picked up of course. My heart was in my throat, not knowing what was happening.
She was in tears, I could hear her crying. But she didn’t say anything. I was afraid to speak, in case she was trying to hide from something or someone. My fears were proven when I heard the sound of a man shouting my name in the background through the phone.
“Hang up.” I whispered to Sam. “I’m coming. Just do whatever they ask, it’ll be ok.”
The phone was off and I was on my feet, heading toward the terminal exit. Predictably I felt the heavy hand of my apparent warden on my shoulder again.
“I overheard your call.” I didn’t have time for this. I tried to keep moving but he had me by the arm.
“Get on that plane, and I’ll go and take care of it. Personally. But you have to get on that plane, understand?”
There was no chance I was going to do what he was asking of me. And it was clear he realized as much. But he didn’t back down.
“If anything happens to you, I’m fucked. I have a son you know. Six years old.” I didn’t understand or care why he was saying this at the time, but he went on. “I know what you are feeling, wanting to protect someone you love.”
I tried to jerk away but he wasn’t going to have it. The boarding had apparently begun, according to the loudspeaker.
“If you really love her, let me handle it. You’ll just get you and her killed.”
My every instinct told me to just run. To make my way to Sam as fast as I possibly could. But even if I did manage to break away… what was my plan? To just take a cab to my apartment? The police would already be there by then, and if they weren’t. Well, I certainly wasn’t some John Wick.
He was right, if these home invaders were dangerous, I’d probably be putting both Sam and myself in danger.
It was hard, but I decided to acquiesce. “Please, please please please. Promise me you’ll help her!”
He just sort of smirked, but I could see a bit of relief in it. “Watching out for you is my job. I’ve been keeping tabs on your since you were just a babe.” The fact that my mom had people spying on me wasn’t that shocking, but it did make me hate her all the more.
“I already texted Sam the combination for the gun safe you all put in the bedroom. Not having her memorize it was really a stupid mistake on both of your parts.” I hadn’t memorized it either, and the realization that even I wouldn’t have been able to access my own guns in an emergency did make me feel really stupid. Apparently this guy knew more about my apartment than I did.
“Now the sooner you get on that plane, the sooner I can get back to your apartment. So what’ll it be?”
I was so angry and scared. But there weren't any options, so it was an easy decision.
“Go! Just fucking go! Quickly!” I nearly shoved him away, but he seemed satisfied.
This was going to be the longest flight of my life.
Except it wasn’t. I had no intention of getting on that plane whatsoever. The moment Mr Baker was gone, I began my own tactical exit. Brandon’s irritating voice suddenly attacked me from behind.
“Where are you going? We have to board.”
I turned around and I remember feeling red in the face. I’m not sure if it was visible. But I was probably harsher than I should have been.
“Get on the damned plane if you want, I’m not going.”
I just left him there alone in the airport terminal. Not something I am proud of. I betrayed two people that day. No, four really. My little brother, abandoning him in that crowded place without any guidance. Mr Baker, who had promised to do what he could to help the woman I loved. My mom, though I couldn’t give two shits about her.
And Sam. For letting this happen. I didn’t know what “this” was then, but I felt like it was somehow my fault.
The cab ride was expensive but I didn’t care. I continuously texted Sam as we drove, praying to hear something from her. I considered calling, but wasn’t sure if she was in hiding. I had no idea what was going on.
About halfway through my trip, my phone buzzed, and I frantically tried to pull out and swipe my phone. The south asian driver was blaring some music and it was driving me mad. I read the message.
We have her. We’ll trade her for you. And a second later came an address.
I had the driver immediately change destinations. It was a terrible feeling, not knowing what I was walking into. I tried to call Sam’s number but they didn’t pick up.
So I called the only other person who’s number I had who might know something about what was going on. My mom.
“You’re supposed to be on a fucking plane, you’re flight left twenty minutes ago!” She was screaming at me through the phone, obviously having deduced I couldn’t call her if I were at 30000k feet.
“Mom, someone broke into my apartment. They said they have Sam.”
“Dan, you’re going to go back to that airport and take the next flight to Hamburg. That is not a request. It’s what’s going to happen!”
“Fuck you mom. Why are people breaking into my place? Where is Sam?”
“Forget about her, there’s plenty of women out there, you can do better.” She seemed so snide as she said it. She didn’t care about Sam at all, and as far as I was concerned, me by extension.
I wanted to just throw my phone out the window of the moving taxi, but it was my only way to even have a chance of communicating with Sam at that time. I just squeezed tightly, a poor expression of my rage. The driver was giving me weird looks.
I finally spoke. “They gave me an address, I’m going there. They said they would trade her for me.”
Helen started to shriek something at me but I hung up on her and then immediately texted her the address. Maybe she’d send some of her “employees”. Seemed like my best shot.
The driver eventually said something as well. “Uh, are you ok? Do you need me to take you to the hospital or something?”
“No! Just take me where I asked!” I yelled.
“You just pulled up a random address, I watched you do…” I looked at him angrily in response. “You know what, nevermind, you’re the boss.” he succumbed.
I felt extremely uneasy as we pulled up outside the old warehouse just on the edge of Tucson. Quickly shoving several hundred dollars at the cab driver, I got out and immediately tried to call Sam’s number again. No answer. I texted instead.
I’m outside. It took a little while and I started to worry I had maybe come to the wrong place or something. The taxi was already gone, and I was just standing in front of this seemingly abandoned building. But a message did find me in time.
Come in. Alone. I texted back.
Sam is there? Me for her, that’s the deal still, right? I waited several more minutes but whoever had her phone didn’t reply. I considered waiting until my mom’s men showed up, but thought better of it. Who knew what they might do to Sam if they found out I had called in the cavalry.
I sucked in all of my fears, and went through that door.
Nobody greeted me on the other side though. I walked through an empty and dusty storage area, large metal doors lining the front wall. Trucks must have unloaded shit here once upon a time. Not anymore.
“Hello?” I shouted it, unsure what I was expected to do next.
There were a few other doors along the left wall, and I remember considering trying one of them. As I approached the closest of them, my phone pinged and buzzed to indicate another message. It was Sam’s number again.
Hanging from the third door knob. Put on the cuffs, arms behind your back. We’ll collect you. I hadn’t noticed it, which had surprised me, but there were indeed handcuffs hanging from the door handle. I couldn’t believe I was actually going through with this. I guess I was braver than I had thought.
The cuffs clicked into the locked state. I figured I was at their mercy at that point. I still had no idea what any of this was about.
And that was when I heard the sound of a small armada pulling up outside. I couldn’t tell exactly, but there might have been half a dozen engines or more coming to a halt just beyond those large steel loading bays. My phone started to buzz again but I couldn’t answer it now, my hands fully secured behind me.
A bunch of men burst in, guns drawn. The moment they saw me, I was collected and led into one of the seven or so SUVs which had aggregated outside.
Nobody paid any attention to the cuff I had on. They were making my wrists ache.
“Where’s Sam? You promised you’d let her go!” I didn’t see anything of her. “It was an exchange, me for her!”
“I don’t know or care what the hell you are talking about. You had your mom in a fit. Fucking spoiled brat.” He shoved me into a back seat.
I realized then that these weren’t the people who had been texting me from Sam’s phone.
“No, wait. You have to uncuff me. She’s in the building, I need to at least message them and explain.” The more I thought about what was unfolding, the more horrified I became. “I don’t know what they’ll do to her! Please!”
I wasn’t even given the time of day. I heard my phone buzz again.
“Stop crying like a god damned baby.” The man in the passenger seat yelled it at me as we cruised down the highway at what felt like 100 miles per hour. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until he said it.
“Please, can you just check my phone?” I glanced at my pocket.
The suited man in the back seat with me grabbed the device and tried to turn it on. “Can’t even answer your own damned phone? Mommy do everything for you?”
I gave him the pin and he was in.
“No messages.” he said.
“Give it to me! Get me out of these cuffs!”
He was definitely annoyed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Frustrated and desperate, I managed to tuck my legs through my arms, getting my hands in front of me finally. I snatched the phone from his hands and checked it myself.
Two messages.
We’re on our way. Followed a bit later by the second one.
You lied to us. You weren’t alone. My head was spinning. I was so sure that they were going to kill her, or hurt her, or do god knows what to her.
“I’m begging you, you have to let me go back. I’ll do anything.” I cried as I pleaded with my mom’s goons, but I knew it was going to be for nothing. They answered to her and she didn’t give a shit about what I wanted.
“Shut up.”
I was dismissed outright, to nobody’s surprise.
“They have my girlfriend!” I couldn’t stop begging. “Who are they? Why is this happening? Please, just tell me what’s going on!”
“That girl at your apartment?” one of them suddenly asked. “She’s fine, it was actually kind of impressive.”
I didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”
“She’s with the police at the moment, gonna take a hell of a lawyer to get her out of the steaming pile of shit she made for herself.”
A lawyer? The police?
The guy next to me could see the look of confusion on my face I assume, because he decided to say a bit more.
“She left three Zeta corpses all over the fucking living room. Place was a mess. She’s fortunate she didn’t accidentally kill a neighbor or something in the crossfire.”
A few seconds of reflection as I took in the words. Those mother fuckers. They had never had her, they had been lying this whole time. I had almost walked right into a trap.
I felt a bit better knowing she was ok at least. Why the hell did they want me so badly though?
“What are Zetas?” I asked, starting to lose some of my tears.
I didn’t really expect them to tell me anything, everything about my mom’s business was so secretive. It was obvious she was into some shady shit, that had been clear for a long time, but I mostly kept my head down and stayed out of her way.
So I was a bit taken off guard when the guy sitting shotgun actually bothered to answer.
“Cartel from south of the border. Nasty people. You’re lucky we got to you first.”
When we finally got back to my mother’s house, I was forcefully dragged into her presence. I was ready for some kind of biblical retribution or rage, but to my surprise she actually seemed relieved to see me.
For the first time in years, she gave me a hug. I didn’t really know what to say.
So we said nothing.
When she finally broke away, I could tell she had been crying. I couldn’t hold back my questions any longer.
“Mom, you need to come clean with me about what’s going on.”
It was odd. She was smiling as she told me to shut the fuck up.
I did some research into these Zetas a bit later that night. They were terrifying and brutal apparently, known for assassinations and torture. If they had gotten their hands on me or Sam, it could have been a nightmare.
Mom really had saved my ass. But the question of why they were after me still lingered.
I knew the answer though. I had always known it was a front. The truth about mom’s “pharmaceutical company”. I just hadn’t realized exactly how deep it went until that moment.
More searches were done, and more articles came up about the bloody war being waged along the border between two opposing cartels. The more I read, the more I felt ill. Hundreds of people had died, mostly on the Mexican side of the line on the map. Journalists and police officers murdered in cold blood as well.
I had to stop reading when I got to an article about some guy having his face peeled off and stitched to a soccer ball.
I just wanted to talk to Sam. I pulled out my phone to call her and see how she was doing, but the text messages sat there, reminding me of something I had almost forgotten.
She didn’t have her phone. Somehow, they had gotten it. But mom’s soldiers had said she had killed the intruders, so how could they have it?
I felt incredibly uncertain about everything, like my understanding of the world was collapsing around me all at once. I picked up my phone, and with great reluctance, I dialed Sam’s number again.
It rang for what felt like an eternity, and finally, someone answered.
“Where are you?” It was something of a gruff voice, maybe a bit of a Latin accent.
“How did you get Sam’s phone?”
The line was silent for a while after I asked it. “Come or we’ll take out her eyes.”
It felt increasingly like the trap I expected it was though. “I’ve heard she’s in police custody. I’m going to confirm that, and if it turns out she isn’t, I’ll come. Don’t do anything rash in the meantime.” I hung up on him as soon as I said it. I really hoped I was making the right choice.
It took about thirty minutes of calling every local station in the city before I found the one where Sam was currently being interrogated. They wouldn’t let me talk to her.
But I did find out one thing, my mom had paid for one of the best lawyers in the state to represent her. Despite how much she seemed to hate her.
I still couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable about everything. I messaged Sam’s phone back.
You don’t have her. Go kill yourselves. Maybe not the best idea to provoke them, but I wasn’t sure it mattered. I didn’t feel safe here in Arizona anymore. And I certainly wasn’t eager to move in with my mom again and live under the watchful eyes of her small army.
Things went well in court, and Sam was released as she was deemed to have acted in self defense. I finally got to see her again.
I’d never felt so happy as we made out later that night in my old bedroom at the estate. She told me everything that had gone down, and it was a wild story. After getting the text from Mr Baker, she had opened the safe and retrieved the carbine.
“It just sort of happened.” I could tell she was still distressed by it. “I opened the door and then just… I killed them.”
“You did what you had to do.” I couldn’t imagine it, but I had to say something.
“I’ve killed four people now, Dan. Four people.”
“Sammy, I looked into them. They would have hurt you. They threatened to blind you when I was texting them on your phone.”
“On my phone?” She bore a strange look on her face. At first it looked like disbelief, but it was apparently just confusion. She produced her phone from her pocket.
The fuck? I grabbed it from her and immediately started checking her text messages. There was no evidence of any of the ones I had sent.
“No, that’s impossible. Here, check mine.” I pulled it out as well and handed it off to her.
She didn’t reply at first. “Daniel, the last message you sent me was right before the guys busted into the apartment.”
That couldn’t be right, I double checked.
Somehow, she was correct though. There was no evidence of any other messages. How could that possibly be? The thought plagued me. Tore at my understanding of everything that had come to pass.
“No, I’m certain. They must have, like, hacked your phone or something. Is that possible?” I was shooting in the dark.
“I don’t know, but wouldn’t the messages be on your phone as well still?”
I had no answer for that. “It doesn’t matter, we’re both safe and that’s the only thing that’s important.” We could try and get to the bottom of it later.
That evening, my head began hurting again. It had been happening a lot, a sort of throbbing migraine that started in my eyes and then slowly strobed into the back of my skull. That axe wound, I was sure. I still had a scar there, and had started wearing hats to conceal it.
Several aspirin were put back with a beer. I know it’s bad, but I didn’t really care at the time. Just wanted the pain to go away. I laid there on my childhood bed, eyes closed, waiting for it to kick in while Sam did something on my old computer. Every click of the keys seemed to bring the agony out.
“Sam, I’m sorry, can you please stop. Feels like my brain is going to explode.” Our eyes collided.
“You need to go to the doctor. They said it should have gone away by now, and you’ve been acting weird.” She wore her concern on her sleeve.
I had no intention of going to the hospital at the moment, but it was nice to know she cared about me.
A knock on the door caused the pain to return.
“Daniel, can I come in?” It was my mom. The last person I wanted to see at that moment.
“Go away.”
“Dan, we need to talk. It’s important.”
I groaned. “Fine, what is it?” She opened the door and just stood in the doorframe, an envelope in hand.
“I need a moment in private with my son.” She was speaking at Sam, who did as she asked. Helen closed the door as soon as she was out of the room.
“Why are all the lights off?” she asked me.
“I’m getting another migraine.”
“I’m worried about you Dan, you’ve been having them almost every night. And that whole ordeal with you going to that abandoned building.”
She had yelled at me about it enough already. “They told me she was there, I had to go check!”
“We scoured the whole place, there was nobody there. I’ve told you this already.” She took a seat on the bed next to me. “Harry said you were just laying on the floor, babbling about something.”
I was tired of hearing this nonsense. “Explain the handcuffs then. They had left them there for me, so that’s proof enough for me.”
“Dan.” She hesitated. “You’re forgetting things. I already told you that there were no handcuffs.” A brief sigh. “Dr Mitchel thinks it could be pretty serious. Maybe related to that head injury. I’ve already made you an appointment with the best neurologist in Berlin.”
This again. “I told you, I’m not fucking going to Germany! How many times do I have to tell you?” I was screaming at her as my head throbbed.
Helen just handed me the envelope. “It’s for Sam. If that’s what it takes to get you to join your brother. He needs you.”
I popped it open. Inside was an EU passport and a bunch of official looking documents. The name was Alison Durst. But the photo had Sam’s face on it.
“Mom… she isn’t going to just go, her family is all here.” I couldn’t believe we were still debating this, I just wanted to try and fall asleep and let this headache pass.
“She’s not safe here now, not after what she did. Those men she killed, they were dangerous, and their employers are just as dangerous if not more so.”
I just sort of stared at her.
“Please, I wouldn’t be sending you away if I didn’t feel I had no choice. I can’t protect her here. I don’t think I can even protect you here.” She was begging at this point. “Please Dan. I know I haven’t been a good mother, but you and your brother are the most important things in my life. Please, just go. It won’t be forever.”
I was still resisting. “Why the hell are you waging war against one of the most dangerous groups in Mexico then? What the fuck! This is your fault!” I didn’t see any reason to bother with euphemisms anymore, we both knew full well she was a criminal, even if I didn’t know all the dirty details.
“It’s hard to explain.” She seemed regretful as she spoke. “You can’t just walk away when you’re in this deep. I would stop if I could, but that won’t be possible until this is over.”
“Please Dan, promise me that you and Sam will go. You’ll be back in time for Christmas.”
We had never once celebrated Christmas. And regardless, that meant we’d be in Hamburg or wherever for almost a year.
But her warning rang in my head.
I can’t protect her here. In the end, that was really all I needed to convince me. I had to keep Sam safe.
I had always known my mom was involved in some kind of drug related nonsense. Pharmaceutical company my ass. But if she was waging war on the Zetas… I guess I had never really understood the scale of what she was. I wondered how many people she had killed throughout her “career”.
And if a woman like that felt like she couldn’t protect her own children, I had to believe her.
We’d go to Germany, as much as I hated the idea.
“Alright. Fine.” But another question came to me. “What about you though? Aren’t you in danger too?”
“It’s different.” She seemed dismissive. “This is my mess and I’m the one who has to clean it up. It’s just how it is.”
The painkillers were starting to kick in, I felt a little better. But this conversation had all kinds of questions running through my head, now that it was a bit more clear.
“Mom, dad didn’t really die of cancer, did he.”
She sat quietly. I wasn’t sure she’d tell me the truth, whatever it was.
“He did.” She knew what I was really asking. “He was never involved in any of this.”
For some reason I believed her, though I don’t know why. Maybe just because I hadn’t had a conversation with her that didn’t involve yelling and cursing in what felt like half a lifetime. I vaguely remembered this side of her from when I was younger. I kind of missed it.
“I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole.” The apology just sort of came out of me, even though I knew she had way more to apologize for. “I’ll take care of Brandon.”
She just patted my leg and got up to leave. “You’re flight leaves in the morning. Don’t miss it this time. And get your head checked out.”
“I will.” I replied.
Sam came back in as soon as she left.
“What was that all about? I thought you weren’t on speaking terms with her?”
I just wanted to sleep, but that couldn’t happen until we talked. Not if she was coming with me in the morning.
“Sammy, you aren’t going to like this, and I’m really sorry.” I didn’t want to say it, I was afraid she might refuse. There was no way I could allow that. I just handed her the envelope, and she started to shuffle through it before giving me a concerned stare.
“I… I can’t.” She started to add some more words in but I interrupted her.
“You have to, or more people will come for you. For us both. They’ll use you to get to me and me to get to my mom.”
“But what about my family? My grandmother? I can’t just leave.” She finally noticed the time on the plane ticket. “This is for tomorrow morning! You can’t be serious!”
I felt terrible, and wondered if maybe I should have just told my mom off. But I remembered the things I had read online. The tortures, murders, and unending violence along the border. And Helen’s warning.
“We’ll be back by Christmas.” I offered hopefully. I really was my mother’s son it seemed.
It took some serious convincing, but she did eventually give in. She had mostly been worried about going to jail at the start of all this, but Halen’s attorney had gotten all charges dropped startlingly quickly. When I started showing her more info about the Zetas and hornets nest she had just kicked over, I could tell she was getting a bit more frightened.
A tough year laid in front of us. But now that I was committed, I started to begin thinking about some more positive things. I supposed it would be kind of cool to see another country, I’d never been abroad before. And at least I’d have Sam with me, thank god.
“Hey Sammy, lets see if anyone in your Facebook group is from Germany.” I could see her light up, and I knew she was already imagining exploring ancient European castles and old world forests.
Just a quick post, I needed to sleep badly. Sam typed it out.
“Moving to Hamburg apparently and need a team to continue our work. Anyone in the area?” I could still see her disbelief in her eyes. I don’t know how I managed to convince her to go along with all this. I remember thinking she must really love me to follow me to the ends of the earth.
She hit send. The next day, we got our first reply while we were on the plane.
--
These accounts are dedicated to Sammy. <3 I miss you so much.
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