BIBLE VERSES ABOUT LOTTERY

I'm so happy I get to share a success story with you all! Reading others' stories has helped me so much through my own process and I hope mine will do the same for someone else. Sorry for the long post I just want to be thorough in case someone can be helped with it!
Early this morning I essentially got exactly what I'd been affirming what was already mine. A text from him asking if he could call me, a long conversation with everything I wanted to hear and more, a reconciled relationship and promises of a future together. The only thing standing between us now are COVID-related travel restrictions imposed by his work/our own hesitancy to travel during the pandemic (we are fairly long distance), but we are still officially back together and there's no doubt in my mind that things are unfolding as I want them to.
I don't want to repeat too much of the old story, but my boyfriend and I did break up, and trust me when I say there were plenty of circumstances that initially made me feel like this was impossible to come back from. There was no animosity or cheating but everything felt completely out of my control. I would also like to add that I spent a month being absolutely crazy, obsessive, texting/calling him endlessly, it was pretty bad. I was a desperate, low self-esteem mess. I felt helpless and was monumentally depressed until about 6 weeks post breakup when I found Neville.
Almost immediately I was able to connect the dots between my own awful mental diet and the circumstances of our breakup. Initially it felt awful to see how every negative thought about myself and our relationship unfolded almost verbatim from my brain when he broke up with me. As I read and learned more about the law of assumption this feeling faded and was replaced with a little bit of hope. If I created this bad situation, I could create a good one.
As I was totally new to the concepts of manifestation/the law of assumption, I started by building faith that it was real with things I didn't have resistance to. Manifesting gifts, coupons for free things, money/lottery ticket wins, revising arguments with friends/family, bringing home my lost dog, minor changes in my physical appearance... all came easily to me. My process for these things was simple. Imaginal act/SATS focused before bed, and then simply living as if and affirming to myself about these things. The "I remember when" technique was super helpful for me if I had a moment of doubt from the 3D.
While I was building my faith, I kept my SP in kind of a "bubble" in my mind. I knew what I wanted with him, but I realized that thinking about him too much made me obsess and spiral and I needed to take a step back. I spent time manifesting other things as well as improving my self concept. I cannot tell you enough how good it feels to finally put myself on a pedestal, to acknowledge all of my good qualities, and to feel deserving of happiness and love for the first time in my life.
When I felt confident enough, I applied the same scene Neville used when he was manifesting his wife. I imagined going to bed next to my SP every night. I imagined in the first person, seeing a wedding ring on my hand when I touched his face. Personally, I didn't "loop" the scene, but just envisioned and felt the quiet peacefulness of falling asleep next to him.
During the daytime, I mostly focused on other things. I lived in the 3D and 4D simultaneously, doing what I needed to do in the world of Caesar while acknowledging that the life I focused on internally was just as real. I assumed the state of being with him, of being the woman who gets exactly what she wants. Of course, I had a few bad days. I had doubts. I allowed myself to feel and then affirmed that one bad moment does not negate my progress. It's okay to falter, you just need to pick yourself back up and persist. Literally two days before he reached out to me I had a rough/sad day - it's okay, I promise!
How I personally knew I had reached the state/sabbath:
"Brazen impudence" as Neville called it. Of course he's mine, of course this is inevitable. There is simply no other possibility. When I saw cute couples, I no longer felt the tinge of pain and jealousy in my stomach, it was replaced with happiness and thoughts of how it reminded me of myself and SP. I was very content, I did not care about the old story, and I was no longer obsessed. I had dreams about him where everything I desired played out perfectly - I don't believe that these were "signs" or "premonitions" in the superstitious/power outside of us way, but definitely a good indicator that my subconscious mind had been impressed. I felt this way despite literally zero contact from him/no "movement" in the 3D until the moment he messaged me to talk, completely out of the blue. There is movement behind the scenes!
I don't want to specify how much time it took after I learned about the law of assumption because I don't want anyone reading this to compare their journey to mine and feel like they're doing something wrong if it's taking more time. There is no race. They're yours. When I got frustrated with the time it was taking, I learned two time-related comparisons that helped me:

1. "Live" television is never really live. There's a delay so the station can control what is broadcast. You are living with that short delay. Just because your SP doesn't appear in your room in a puff of green smoke the instant you think of them does not mean they're not yours.
2. When you buy something online, it is yours even though, again, it didn't appear in your room instantly out of a portal in the wall the moment you clicked "confirm purchase". It's yours, you know it exists and it's in a package with your name on it on it's way to you. You don't go outside every 5 seconds to look in the mailbox. It is simply yours.

I also want to point out a few things that I did that I felt were detrimental to the process and my mental health/obsession with manifesting my SP. If you do these, please don't panic, it is just my personal experience and how I was affected negatively.

1. Constantly looking for external reassurance. As I wrote above, I did get frustrated with the time that it took/not immediately seeing results initially in the 3D. If you experience this too, I highly recommend not immediately running to text your friends/post on Reddit/Facebook about old circumstances and this and that and the other begging someone to tell you it's going to be okay. Please learn to reassure yourself. You are the operant power, God is within you, and nobody can manifest for you. Make a list of your favorite Neville quotes, Bible verses, affirmations, even bookmark a video or two on Youtube to rewatch when you are feeling low. This leads me into my second point:
2. Do not oversaturate yourself with law of assumption content. Read Neville, listen to Neville lectures, and by all means if you like a few channels on Youtube that discuss the LoA don't be afraid to watch them. The issue comes with subscribing to 100 different channels each with their own techniques and limiting beliefs and conflicting teachings that will confuse you and end up making things so much more complicated than they need to be. One limiting belief from one channel sent me into a funk for a few days - be careful what you watch, and be careful how much you watch. Watching videos =/= manifesting. The best thing to do is to test things for yourself instead of piling on more information you already know explained in 200 different ways.

One final note, if you are in the throes of SP Sadness, please do not buy coaching from anyone. They cannot bring your person to you. Only you can. I don't have a personal issue with coaching, but if you are going into any of this thinking there's some magic wand that someone else can wave that will poof your desires into the 3D instantly you will be disappointed and out a few hundred dollars. I see a lot of desperation and while it is completely understandable and valid and I get it, I hate to see people being taken advantage of at their low points. Give yourself time to learn and practice on your own. If I can do this, anyone can.
Thank you for reading, thank you to everyone who has shared their own success stories and inspired me and kept me going, and thank you for being such a kind and supportive community. I'm happy to answer any questions in the replies but remember - your circumstances do not matter! 💖

If you have just now understood, where is that which you couldn’t understand before? If you can’t understand now, when will you understand?
Just examine over and over in this way, and you should come to understand. That is why it is said, “What you misunderstood before is what you now understand; what you now understand is what you misunderstood before”.
It is also said, “When light comes, darkness vanishes; when knowledge comes into play, confusion is forgotten”. But can it actually be so? How can it be so? That would mean there is darkness to be destroyed and there is confusion to be removed. Have you not read the ancient saying, “Don’t change the former person, just change the former behavior”.

I just had dinner. Where did my hunger go?
When I poop later… is that my hunger coming out?
Where’s your confusion? Where’s your enlightenment?

You Zen followers say, “What is the difficulty? Misunderstanding is just ‘this person’, and understanding is just ‘this person’. There can be no other”. But then when asked what “this person” is, you are helpless; or else you talk at random. This is because of not having attained truly accurate realization. This is a disease that has entered your bones and marrow.

Ahhh, the fun of throwing darts in random directions while blindfolded! That’s a /zen specialty!

People in error attach recognition to a lifetime of cessation. Indeed, they “stop” not only for one lifetime, but for a thousand lifetimes, myriad lifetimes. As for the spiritually sharp, they should know how to experientially investigate who “this person” is, directly seeking an insight.
Whew! Buddhism today is lackluster; even in large groups it’s hard to find suitable people. As long as you people are here studying the path in this school, you should not waste the twenty-four hours of the day; focus on attaining insight.

How do you even “focus on attaining insight”? What does that even mean?
Whenever somebody tells me they’re trying to quit smoking, I always ask them: How are you trying, exactly?
They often respond with nonsensical mumbling. And then they enlighten a cigarette.
How do you focus on attaining the insight of liberation from an addiction?
How do you focus on attaining the insight of understanding infinitesimal calculus, or quantum mechanics?
How do you focus on attaining the insight of understanding what your loved one was trying to say in that argument last night?
How do you focus on attaining the insight Foyan speaks about?
How do you focus on attaining insight?
There’s something funny about the phrase “focus on attaining insight”, it sounds like “focus on winning the lottery”.
Go on. Focus hard, buddy. Maybe you’ll win!!!

You people are still not far off; have you not read how master Linji said, “There is a true person of no rank in the naked mass of flesh, always going out and coming in the doors of your senses; those who haven’t witnessed it, look!” At that time, a student came forward and asked, “What is the true person of no rank?” Linji got out of his chair, grabbed the student, and said, “Speak! Speak!” The student hesitated, trying to think of something, so Linji pushed him away.
Linji also said, “Your eyes radiate a light that shines through the mountains and rivers”. The ancients were so compassionate, yet people today don’t take it to heart, so they need to look for someone to find certainty.
Have you not read how Yantou, Xuefeng, and Jinshan went to see Linji, then met Elder Ding on the way?
Yantou asked, “Where are you coming from?”
Ding said, “From Linji”.
Yantou inquired, “Is the teacher well?”
Ding said, “The teacher has passed away”.
Yantou said, “We came especially to pay respects to the teacher Linji, but now we hear he has passed away, and we do not know what he said. Please quote an example or two of his sayings”.
Ding then cited the foregoing story about Linji’s saying, “There is a true person of no rank in the mass of naked flesh, always going out and coming in through the doors of your senses; those who have not yet witnessed it, look!” When a student came forward and asked what the true person of no rank is, Linji got out of his chair, grabbed the student, and said, “Speak! Speak!” When the student hesitated, trying to think up something to say, Linji pushed him away and said, “What a dry turd the true person of no rank is!” Then Linji went back to his quarters.
Hearing this recital, Yantou was stunned. Jinshan remarked, “Why didn’t he say, ‘In the mass of naked flesh is not a true person of no rank’?” Ding grabbed him and said, “Tell me, how far apart are a true person of no rank and not a true person of no rank? Speak quickly!” Jinshan’s face paled, then clouded. Yantou and Xuefeng both said, “Please forgive this novice for insulting you, Elder.” Ding remarked, “If it hadn’t been for you two old guys, I’d have punched this little bed-wetter out!”

How far apart are a true person of no rank and not a true person of no rank?
What difference is there between yourself and Buddha?
This reminds me of a passage by Daoxin, which I’ll quote in a different format to separate from Foyan’s chapter:

The hundred thousand gates of the Buddhadharma, they all return to this mind. The source of the countless exquisite sublime practices is this mind. All of the precepts and monastic rules, Zen meditation, Dharma gates of knowledge, and wisdom and every sort of miraculous manifestation are your natural possession, not separate from your mind.
Every type of nuisance and karmic impediment is fundamentally empty and without real existence. All causes and effects are but illusions. There are no three worlds that are to be cast off. There is no bodhi that can be attained. The original nature and appearance of what is human and what is nonhuman does not differ. The great way is empty and vast, without a single thought. If you have attained this Dharma, where nothing whatsoever is lacking, what difference is there between yourself and Buddha?
When there is not a single teaching left, then you are just left to abide in your own nature; with no need to worry about your behavior; no need to practice cleansing austerities; but just living a life without desires; with a mind without anger, without cares; completely at ease and without impediment; acting according to your own will; without needing to take on any good or evil affairs; just walking, abiding, sitting, and lying down; with whatever meets your eye being nothing other than the essential source; and all of it is but the sublime function of Buddha; blissful and without care. This is called 'Buddha'.

So… What difference is there between yourself and Buddha?
How far apart are a true person of no rank and not a true person of no rank?
Can anyone answer this?

Look: when Jinshan said, “Not a true person of no rank”, why did Ding not agree? How can students today reach such a state? They just recognize the mortal body and forcibly act as if they were in charge, unable to let go of it. Now I will cite some stories for you to consider.
Xuefeng called on Touzi and asked, “Is there anyone to call on here?” Touzi threw down his hoe. Xuefeng said, “Then I’ll dig right where I am.” Touzi said, “Dullard!” Even though he said he would dig right where he was, he was still called a dullard.
When Great Elder Nanji met Xuefeng, their conversation was in complete accord. Xuefeng sent him to see Xuansha. Xuansha asked, “An ancient said, ‘Only I can know this.’ How do you understand?” Nanji said, “You should realize there is someone who does not seek to know”. Xuansha said, “You are a Great Elder — why go to so much trouble?” What is the logic of this?
When my late teacher was in the school of Master Baiduan, the master cited an ancient saying, “It is like a mirror casting images; when an image is formed, where has the shine of the mirror gone?”. At the time, there were a number of students in the group who offered replies, but the master did not accept any of them. In those days, my teacher was working as a fundraiser; when he came back, Baiduan cited the foregoing saying and asked him about it. My teacher approached, offered greetings, and said, “Still not far off.” Baiduan clapped and laughed. Everyone thought Baiduan was pressing to make him chief fundraiser; what kind of talk is that?
Here I only require you to study the path. Your first priority, twenty-four hours a day, should be to get rid of unenlightened egotism toward others. Why? Egotism toward others is the business of mediocrities.
My late teacher never had any egotism toward others. As his assistant I saw quite a lot, but I never saw him have a single thought of annoyance. Once when he was at Haihui, there was a certain senior monk serving as superintendent of hospitality. When my late teacher sent a great elder to lead the community at Sihai, he had the superintendent of hospitality escort him. The senior spat in my teacher’s face and said, “Who are you to tell me to escort him?”. He kept on with this vile talk, so my teacher finally gave up. No one knew about this. Later, when my teacher came to Taiping, he nominated that individual to be keeper of the treasury, and also made him assembly leader. My teacher himself asked to be made superintendent of the institution, and even nominated the other for the abbacy there at Taiping. The governor did not approve of this appointment, and the superintendent reviled my teacher, saying he did not support him strongly enough. Now my teacher finally spoke out; “This fellow”, he said, “has hollered at me twice!”. By this we can see he had no egotism toward others.

I found the mention of egotism very interesting. It’s the only time this is mentioned in the whole book.
From the perspective of modern psychology there can be various degrees of egotism (also called narcissism):

• Narcissistic traits
• Narcissistic personality
• Narcissistic personality disorder

This is relevant because now we have some information that Zen Masters didn’t.
Some human beings are incapable of getting rid of “unenlightened egotism toward others”, as Foyan suggests. To date, this has no known cure, no solution.
What are we to do with these individuals?
Are we going to judge them?
Are we going to mock them?
Are we going to hate them?
How do you even tell them what they’re missing?
How do you explain colors to a blind person?
Narcissists (by definition) cannot comprehend or apply Foyan’s teaching about egotism. But they think they do! This is key.
It’s like the Anton–Babinski syndrome: People with cortical blindness who deny being blind. They cannot see, but they are convinced that they can. This is an extremely rare condition, and pretty revealing about the power of the human mind for self-deception. “Failing to accept being blind, people with Anton syndrome dismiss evidence of their condition and employ confabulation to fill in the missing sensory input.”
What place do narcissists have in a Zen community?
Can they weirdly serve as a sort of beacon, constantly showing us how not to behave?
Again, the context for all this is Foyan’s line “Your first priority, twenty-four hours a day, should be to get rid of unenlightened egotism toward others”.
But now... hear me out...
How can you be sure that you don't suffer from Anton-Babinski syndrome?
What if you're blind but you've convinced yourself that you can see?
What if we are all deluding ourselves about our various kinds of blindness, our own lack of awareness?
How can you cultivate freedom if you feel you're already free?
How can you cultivate awareness if you feel you're already aware?
Something to think about!

People now want to understand theoretically at once, as soon as anything is said. How can you learn the way in this fashion? Sometimes I see beginners come to interviews helpless to do anything about the fact that I have already seen through them. They are like villagers armed with carrying poles trying to do battle with a general. Here I am fully equipped; in my hand is the hundred-pound sword of a legendary warrior, while they have nothing but a carrying pole. They strike a blow, and, seeing the man not move, they strike several more times and leave. It’s not that I fear them; it’s because they are no match for me. Ha, ha!

There’s a neat concept called “end gaining” defined by F. M. Alexander in his book “The Use of the Self”: End gaining is the tendency we have to keep our mind and actions focused on an end result whilst losing sight of, and frequently at the expense of, the means-whereby the result is achieved.
“End gaining” is the opposite of what I always call “gentle seeking” (which, for those unfamiliar with the term, is closer to “non seeking” than it is to “seeking”).
Wanting to understand theoretically at once, as soon as anything is said, would be an example of end gaining.

I urge you not to be crude minded. In your conduct, day and night, keep evolving higher; then even if you do not attain enlightenment, you will still be a highly refined individual. Be sure to be attentive.

hookdump’s final comments:
I also liked the concept of “true person of no rank”. In my book that’s called “radical humility”. The wisest characters in history all had this feature.
Who in here can be a true person of no rank?
Who of you could step forward and weigh his soul?
Something I like about various religions is that they talk about a Judgement Day.
“Have fear of the day when every soul will be responsible for itself. No intercession or ransom will be accepted and no one will receive help.” (The Quran, Surah Al-Baqarah 2:47-48)
“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” (The Bible, 2 Corinthians 5:10)
This puts certain amount of weight on the teachings. It's very useful for building motivational frameworks.
Zen Masters were more practical than that.
If you were in error, they’d smack you, they’d painfully grab your nose, they’d cut your finger off.
Instant accountability. I like that.
I don’t dare to step forward at this time.
How could I say I am a true person of no rank? I cannot say that.
I won't heed Foyan's advice: I won't keep evolving higher.
I'd rather keep evolving lower.

Previous episodes:
#1 - Freedom and Independence	#2 - Zen Sicknesses	#3 - Facing It Directly
#4 - Seeing and Doing	#5 - The Marrow of the Sages	#6 - Not Knowing
#7 - Emancipation	#8 - Stop Opinions	#9 - The Director
#10 - Saving Energy	#11 - The Most Direct Approach	#12 - Asleep
#13 - No Seeing	#14 - Independence	#15 - In Tune
#16 - Learning Zen	#17 - The Basis of Awareness	#18 - Just Being There
#19 - Two Sicknesses	#20 - Mind Itself	#21 - Seeing Through
#22 - Speaking Effectively	#23 - Naked Realization	#24 - Seeing Mind
#25 - Discovery	#26 - Show the Truth	#27 - Real Zen
#28 - Wonder	#29 - Just This

Zelda Theory: “BotW Zelda is not Zelda”
It’s hard to debate the success of a game that has won the hearts and minds of countless fans, even as it sticks out from the rest of its franchise as distinctly as “Zelda II: The Adventure of Link”. Breath of the Wild has given Zelda fans everywhere a buffet of possibilities to consider, and by the year 2020, it seems like the Switch title has been picked apart more thoroughly than my cat picks apart chicken bones. But there is one thing that I haven’t seen addressed, and that is my reason for starting this theory. Of all the ambiance of Hyrule that is left up to the imagination, one possibility that seems to elude the masses has been something we’ve been staring at the face of from the beginning of BotW’s release. The true identity of who we’ve been told is Princess Zelda. My aim here is to show evidence that after all this time, we’ve been lied to.
So, in order to discredit BotW Zelda’s claim to being an incarnation of Zelda, this must be done carefully, with consideration paid to a few key points.
​

1. What does it mean to be Princess Zelda?
2. What is the exact nature of her Sealing Power?
3. Is Botw Zelda the actual princess? What does it mean if she’s not?

Who is Princess Zelda?
I know, I know. This sounds as redundant a question as possible. Clearly, Princess Zelda is a royal princess named Zelda. But if that was the standalone measure, I wouldn’t need to talk about it.
In order to explain what it means to be Princess Zelda, it is necessary to take a trip through time and assess the nature of her various incarnations. For this isn’t a matter of random highborn girls who just happen to all have the same name, each growing into their own in their own time and their own way. This is this the one and same person, the recurring spirit of the goddess Hylia, appearing time and again to serve her people in the lesser condition of a hylian herself.
Time and time again, these iterations of “Hylia”, known as “Zelda”, have stood as an exemplary force of good in each of their respective eras. While some have been, well, more useful than others, her character has remained a constant.
Consider the first Zelda the world saw. No, not Hylia, from Skyward Sword, I mean from the NES title “The Legend of Zelda”, who again appears in “Zelda II: The Adventure of Link”. The original Zelda we saw, though precious little was conveyed about her, nevertheless managed to show her true spirit as Hylia from the events that both games pivot on. In order to protect Hyrule from being conquered by Ganon, she split up her Triforce of Wisdom timely enough to keep it from being located by Ganon’s minions. For the second game, the reason why Zelda was induced under an endless sleep curse was for protecting common people from her brother (yes, that means Hyrule has had princes from time to time). The prince’s wizard confidant all but doomed Zelda, yet she never hesitated to protect someone in the line of danger. This sets the basis for which all other incarnations of Zelda had to build on.
So build on that base Zelda did. Every iteration of Zelda has managed some display of virtue. In “Ocarina of Time”, Zelda being but a child foresaw a disaster that the king wouldn’t take seriously, so she took plans into her own hands. Working with the youth Link, the two worked on a plan to ensure Hyrule’s lasting peace prosperity. Sure, it didn’t all go all that great, what with Ganondorf pulling a grand one over them, that not only rewarded him with the Triforce of Power, but also split the Zelda Multiverse into the faultlessly perfect timeline we all love and adore for its consistent narration of even time paradoxes and lunar terraforming.
From the Oracle pair, we got to see another Zelda build upon herself. Even as the lands of Holodrum and Labrynna face their darkest hour (depending on which title you play as a linked quest), Zelda puts herself out there publicly to raise the morale of people, who I might add aren’t even under her rule, despite the inevitable hazard of getting abducted.
In “The Minish Cap”, Zelda performs some real forward thinking, by choosing a shield to give to Link instead of something pretty upon winning a festival lottery. By this selfless act, this Zelda gave the unwitting boy one of the most crucial tools he’d need to become a hero. In a sense, this was a way for Zelda to protect her hero.
In “The Wind Waker”, we got to see a more capable version of Zelda, one that could actually fight. Though that doubtlessly was a prerequisite for being a pirate captain (could you even imagine Black Beard being utterly weak in a fight?), Tetra still exhibited her nature as an incarnation of Zelda. Even with all of the background reasons in the world to be selfish, Tetra shows herself to be better than her origins. Tetra assists Link in reaching the Forsaken Fortress. She spares the bomb master in Windfall from the much worse fate he really deserved, leading to his good. Tetra returned the poor maiden Maggie while leaving her lucrative skull necklaces alone (which had to be deliberate), while making sure to milk dry the arrogant rich man in exchange for the return of his daughter Mila (Tetra is quite a calculating one). Tetra saw the calamity on Greatfish Island, and was eager to claim Nayru’s Pearl from Jabun on Outset Island, which her crew noticed was motivated out of wanting to protect innocent villagers. Towards the end, Tetra assumes the role of Link’s comrade against Ganondorf, being one of the few times that Link and Zelda ever fight side by side, apart from the anime…. Wait, you didn’t like that? Well, excuuuuse me!
With all that now freshly in mind…. (And thank you from the bottom of my heart if you’re been paying attention the whole time, as it just means the world to me…. Unless you haven’t been, so then it’s more just “meh”.) This is a list to show how BotW Zelda measures up to her own legacy. This list draws on Link’s collectible memories, as well as other elements that may be found within “Breath of the Wild” itself.
Champion Daruk’s Song: EX Recovered Memory #2: In this memory, Zelda shares a good laugh with Daruk in the end over his fears of dogs. However, the sharing part came only as Daruk tried to laugh of his embarrassment. Sure, it was a silly moment; it was meant to be. But Zelda lacked prudence here, as she could easily have alienated the Goron Champion from Hyrule’s cause. Its just as well that Daruk was a jolly guy.
Subdued Ceremony: Recovered Memory #1: Zelda administers a ritual to bless the hero chosen by the Master Sword. Yet her effort is so half-hearted, it actually lowers the morale of her Champions. Daruk even points out that Zelda makes it sound like they’ve already lost, not that they’re reaching onward towards achieving a world at peace. This is perhaps the worst public display of leadership that Zelda ever gives, aside perhaps from getting abducted during the Oracle games.
Resolve and Grief: Recovered Memory #3: Zelda admits to the lack of knowledge they have over the Divine Beasts, and yet she puts all her faith in the automated army. This shows a lack of wisdom, Zelda’s defining trait, as she neglects the old proverb to “never put all your eggs in one basket”. This is weak more still as Zelda is heir to a legacy of lore knowledge, which she demonstrates in her awareness that the Master Sword contains Fi. Yet Zelda favors preparing an army of mechs over the actual needs of Hyrule. We all know that the mechs were never needed to defeat Ganon, despite their significance as depicted in a tapestry for an event 10,000 years prior. Yet Zelda knows about Fi, who dates back as early as possible.
Daruk’s Mettle: Recovered Memory #4: Here, we get to hear what Daruk has to say about Zelda, a valuable thing due to their close relationships. Daruk advises Link to remember that Zelda’s strong personality prevents her from seeing the range for the peaks. Even Zelda’s closest confidants understand that she just doesn’t “get it”.
Zelda’s Resentment: Recovered Memory #5: The princess goes off apart from her chosen knight for the purpose of an experiment, forcing Link to make an emergency search for her. Here, we see Zelda’s lack of prudence in bloom. She goes off by herself during a time when monsters are becoming more active, where the Yiga are already a known threat, and she pays little attention to her backside. Instead of trying to make amends with Link for causing him trouble, Zelda does her best to alienate the hero from her, which is pretty darn stupid.
Urbosa’s Hand: Recovered Memory #6: Though Urbosa is filled with familial affection towards Zelda, the Gerudo understands that the princess is an utter failure.
Blades of the Yiga: Recovered Memory #7: Zelda’s foolishness catches up with her in a most serious confrontation with multiple Yiga assassins. The sheer stubbornness of the princess leads her on a flight to Gerudo Town where Link cannot enter without cross-dressing. Zelda becomes a sitting duck, an easy target for the Yiga, and would have certainly died had Link not been equal to the task. Too bad he’s still a rag doll.
A Premonition: Recovered Memory #8: This one is a fine example of the difference in ability of the hero and the princess. Link slays a veritable horde of madness single-handed, including a suspicious quantity of Lynels, which are one of the most messed up types on enemies in Breath of the Wild, second only to the legions of mechs. Zelda’s naivety comes through with baffling blindness here. She only guesses that the force was meant as a harbinger of Calamity Ganon’s return, but considering how several solitary Lynels united with a pack of Bokoblins, this was something much more significant.
Silent Princess: Recovered Memory #9: Of all of Zelda’s dysfunctional behaviors, this memory of Link’s shows her with what may very well be an identity crisis. I know that sounds a bit harsh, and maybe some of you are thinking that I’m just upset at a princess whose a tomboy, but its not that at all. Here is the reason why Zelda exhibits a lack of understanding about her affinity as, well, Princess Zelda. As she has her tender moment over the rare flower with Link, Zelda speaks as if she identifies with the flowers. This is all fine and nice, and even pleasantly poetic, except for her final words about it. Zelda, the embodiment of Wisdom, speaks of the Silent Princess flowers with a wish for power. Let me repeat that one more time. The presumed heir of the Triforce of Wisdom is more concerned with strength and power. On top of that, Zelda shows a complete lack of humanity as she captures a frog and tries to make Link eat it alive. Scientific curiosity is one thing, cooking a frog before you eat it is one thing, but trying to devour a live animal as is, Zelda was committing to an entirely savage process. Its no wonder Link was revolted at the thought, as even he has more wisdom than this Zelda.
Shelter from the Storm: Recovered Memory #11: As Link trains under that all-too-wonderful rain we can never get enough of, Zelda actually hints at an awareness that she’s not “The One”, or in other words, the incarnation of Hylia that she’s always been told. When it rains, it pours. Don’t you just love the rain?!
Father and Daughter: Recovered Memory #12: In failing to accomplish what she was presumably meant to, Zelda starts devoting her time to surveying the progress of controlling the Guardians. This was met with hard words from the king, followed by level statements to encourage Zelda to figure out why she’s unable to use the Sealing Power. Unfortunately, her scientific mind is inadequate for the task.
Slumbering Power: Recovered Memory #13: Here, we get to see one of Zelda’s prayer sessions. It looks more like a speech of self pity, with Zelda focused on herself than her task. The statement that Zelda doesn’t feel any kind of power, despite being much older already than most seen Zeldas, this stands as evidence that this Zelda may lack the power entirely, despite being the princess.
To Mount Lanayru: Recovered Memory #14: It would seem that age alone doesn’t qualify Zelda as being wise. To expect failure from the outset is classic way to fail. Even the much less scrupulous Lina Inverse (from “The Slayers”) understood that giving up before you begin causes even the least likely chance of success to mean absolutely nothing. Whatever potential Zelda had within her before the Calamity couldn’t be awakened like this.
Return of Calamity Ganon: Recovered Memory #15: Were Mipha’s next few words the key to tapping Zelda’s potential? I really don’t think so. If you consider the complete lack of results that Zelda experienced during her 17 years of life, then Urbosa’s words would be just as life altering, and spoiler alert, they weren’t. Zelda’s inability to lead also comes through in this memory, as Daruk takes the role of leader to get everyone into action. Meanwhile, Zelda again appears to think of power or prudence, as she decides to knowing join a battlefield where she would be useless. A case of too little too late.
Despair: Recovered Memory #16: When it rains, it pours. Zelda’s reaction is perfectly reasonable, but the fact remains that she was unable to tap the power that she was presumed to have. It may be very well be that this Zelda was unworthy of the Triforce of Wisdom. As for how she comes to have it….
Zelda’s Awakening: Recovered Memory #17: I’m sure Marin’s Awakening would be a lot less dismal. Erh-hump! Zelda finally appears to have awakened her latent power, but why? She never felt anything ever before. Until Calamity Ganon arose, turned the guardians and off-brand Zoids against their masters, and started a slaughter that would make Disney envious. So why did Zelda only suddenly have this “Sealing Power” after countless lives had been lost? I think it’s because someone worthier than Zelda died during the catastrophe. Given Zelda’s typical inability to display any wisdom, its quite possible that Ganon in all his schemes had been systematically killing off each person on a personal hit list who exemplifies wisdom, until the goddesses were left with so few options as to just try dumping the Triforce of Wisdom on a random woman in the heat of things.
Since that was a lot to take in, please allow me to recap. The Zelda from “Breath of the Wild” stands apart from all other incarnations of Hylia as a sad sort, filled with self-pity, is given to rage, is unable to lead, her efforts to lead actually destroy morale, and her fascinations with science would make high schoolers puke in revulsion (if dissecting a dead frog for the sake of school is revolting, how much worse when someone wants you to devour a live frog). Zelda expected to fail, and she did fail. Gaining the power to oppose The Calamity was not so simple a matter as what we’re allowed to see. Zelda’s power came at a great price, the ultimate price, actually, which she didn’t pay herself.
There is also one other peculiarity that I noticed about BotW Zelda. Maybe you’ve noticed how a bow was left mounted over the fireplace in her private bedroom? Maybe you’ve also found the Fire Arrow in the pot near the doorway. Why did Zelda have a bow and a valuable arrow in her private room? Was it for self defense, or some kind of prank? If Zelda needed a royal bow to protect herself in her own room, was security really that lousy? Or was it just meant to punish Link for sleep-trapeze-walking to her private room? In which case the answer would be both….? Its just something to wonder about.
What is Zelda’s Sealing Power Anyways?
It seems to be obvious; the Sealing Power is the Triforce of Wisdom. What else could it be? Maybe its an honest mistake? Before you start burning human civilization to the ground, hear me out.
The real bottom line for Zelda is this; she must be the reincarnation of Hylia. It is stressed inexplicably in “Breath of the Wild” that Zelda’s inability to use the Sealing Power is tied to not having anyone to teach her how, specifically her mother. Here’s the thing though; there can only be one incarnation of Zelda at one time. Its the same with the hero and for Ganon as well. If Zelda needed instruction on how to use her powers, the only one who could give it is herself, due to the prerequisite divine nature. Being descended from the goddess/royal family means absolutely nothing by itself, as “The Adventure of Link” shows with Zelda’s brother being given to evil. If it were such a simple matter of having royal blood, the king would be a perfect tutor for Zelda. That is, if inheriting divine blood were the key. But it’s not. The key is being the reincarnation of the historically vital figure.
Consider which incarnation of Zelda has ever needed to be taught how to use her power? When has Zelda ever needed her mother to be worthy of inheriting the Triforce of Wisdom? None. Tetra certainly didn’t have this benefit, and yet she proves a worthy comrade. In “A Link to the Past”, Zelda was able to use telepathy as an emergency beacon through Agahnim’s formidable security. In “Ocarina of Time”, Zelda’s abilities came through at a very young age, when nobody would think to take her premonitions seriously. In “The Minish Cap”, Zelda’s power, “The Light Force” was practically one with her every breath, giving promise of her restoration from petrification.
As for the mistake I mentioned about this “Sealing Power”, I think that what the true identity of it is has been lost to time in Hyrule. Consider how history is shrunken and forgotten over the centuries. In a world without printing, all records would need to be hand copied, and this naturally lends itself to shortening, as is known to have happened with the Holy Bible. After over 10,000 years have passed, there has probably been some compromises in the record keeping, if you know what I mean. Hyrule may have been able to develop a camera (“Majora’s Mask” and “Wind Waker”), but there’s not a printing press to be found. That tapestry in Impa’s home couldn’t possibly be 10,100 years old; it must be a copy of a copy at least.
Doubtlessly the big thing about the Sealing Power is actually using it. Zelda does gains the use of it, regardless of however it came to be. Does holding the Triforce of Wisdom at this point verify her as Zelda, the incarnation of Hylia and the Embodiment of Wisdom? I would have to say no. Her sealing power meant the difference for Hyrule’s future, and how she chose to use it determined who lived and who died. No pressure there for an incarnation of a goddess who can use her power to wipe out the finite number of guardians in no time flat, rid the off-brand Zoids, er, Divine Beasts of Nintendo trademarked Ganon, and lead a final charge upon Hyrule Castle to hold the Calamity back until the Blade of Evil’s Bane could again be held by the hero who would finish it. Unfortunately Zelda makes a poor choice yet again by abandoning the people of Hyrule to be destroyed by the unstoppable guardians, and makes a solo stand against Calamity Ganon, that while brave, was not wise. Zelda’s thoughts about her own power supersede any thought about leading. This Zelda displays courage and power, but she exhibits a lack of her signature defining trait; Wisdom.
It is also quite noteworthy that Zelda had plenty of time to make a better plan. After her power awakened at Fort Hateno, she had to travel north past the Akkala Citadel, skipping an opportunity in the process, as she went much further north still to Korok Forest. Zelda relinquished the Master Sword there, and then went onward and southward, basically backtracking, to face the Calamity. With such potent power behind her, Zelda could have easily rid the Divine Beasts of Gano’s malice, gained the aid of the disembodied championsas Link would, and thus would have regained a much greater offense to come back at Ganon with. Zelda had plenty of time to realize this, but she didn’t. Other Zeldas may have been naive, but this one was a stubborn fool acting entirely out of character.
Is She Really the Princess?
It’s hard to deny Zelda’s place as the princess of Hyrule. In order to disprove her status as a royal heir, one could only get answers from those that would know. Clearly, the king acted as if Zelda were “The One”, and Urbosa also stands as a testament to Zelda’s lineage, having personally known the queen. That leaves few doubts to say the least, but then I noticed something peculiar. Have you noticed that Impa says “Lady Zelda” instead of princess when talking about the landscape picture of ruined guardians? This little line actually stands to change everything. Impa, Zelda’s nursemaid calls the princess “Lady”, a relatively low standing rank among the upper class, and actually inferior to Link’s own inherent social standing as a royal knight from birth. Impa seems to know something that she’s not letting on here.... Unfortunately, every time I try to pry details out of her, Impa just continues to repeat the same lines about what happened 10,000 years ago. I mean, all that’s interesting, of course, but have your hearing aids gone dry, Impa? [exasperated sigh] Paya, your grandmom is acting like an average NPC again. Is it time for her medicine?
There is another detail worth bringing up, though its from the trailer for the long-awaited sequel. In the short video, Zelda is shown with short hair. Is that really a problem? After all, having long hair like that must get pretty heavy, and cutting it off must have came with a feeling of relief to her scalp. Symbolically, however this is very much a problem, if very specific. Zelda is supposed to be the embodiment of Wisdom. She also presumably still holds the Triforce of Wisdom. It stands to reason that her appearance overall should reinforce the concept of wisdom. This includes Zelda’s hair. It may be an inconvenience, but long hair on a woman symbolizes, as you can probably guess where I’m going now, wisdom. So what does this mean? We’ll have to wait for the sequel to come out first and hope to have some light shed on it. For now, my thought is that BotW Zelda is yet incomplete. She has shown potential to act in the role of the princess, but has done so in the wrong capacities. Going solo instead of leading, and trusting in power rather than using wisdom. Zelda became powerful, but she has much growing to do.
It may be that BotW Zelda has a long path yet ahead, a journey of reflection and of discovering what really matters, at the end of which she may finally earn the answers that have so long eluded her. It may be that this Zelda isn’t even an incarnation of Hylia, but it would be interesting to see her rise up to become fully worthy, similar to how Toon Link rose to the occasion to become a new hero in a timeline that lost it back during the ending of “Ocarina of Time”. A new Hylia, so to say, separate from the one we’ve always known before.

TLDR: Over the last couple months I have constructed a letter I want to send to my parents. I’d love any input/thoughts/critiques. I know the advice is to share less than more. It’s definitely something I struggle with.
My objective here is to let you to know where we are and how we got here. I don’t want to convince you of anything. I tried really hard not to include anything that you might find difficult to hear. I know it is really long but I really hope you take the time to read it. I know that this will be very hard for you to read. I hope you take the time so that we can move ahead and build our relationship.
EARLY YEARS - The Beginning
When I was a missionary, I had several companions that carried around a stack of stories that they would read to people as a spiritual message. None of the stories had sources, and more often than not, seemed like (at best) exaggerated versions of something that probably didn’t happen. It always made me feel uncomfortable that people would “feel the spirit” with these fictitious tales.
Since the mission, I have struggled to know the difference between the spirit and just feelings. The problem is, there isn’t one. According to scripture, the spirit manifests itself through feelings. That has been something I have always struggled with. I have always leaned more towards logic that thought than feelings. Because of my logical approach, for the last 16 years I’ve looked at the gospel (and church) from a very nuanced perspective. For years, I would pluck out the nonsense traditions of the “church” and highlight (focus on) the core precepts of the “gospel”. I use quotes to emphasize the difference. Like we discussed when you guys were here in January. The flood wasn’t a literal flood that covered the earth. The creation didn’t happen 6,000 years ago, etc.
When Grandma died, I inherited her entire library of books. From that library of books, there were two that really stood out to me the most. One was the original printed version of the BoM. The other was a compilation of letters/journals from many of Joseph Smith’s wives.
With the BoM, I was really surprised how many differences there were from what we have today. If it was translated as I was taught, I would expect some scribal errors. But it was more than just writing mistakes. There were actual changes. I never spent much time comparing the two documents. But one of the amazing things about living in our era is that we have tools that can make such comparisons so simple and easy to do, even for large books.
As for the journals, I didn’t read a lot. But I really didn’t feel comfortable with the letters from the 14-15 year-old girls.
I put both books on my shelf and moved on. But there were lingering concerns about both.
Being raised in the church, honesty has always been a basic principle that I’ve been taught to appreciate (important “gospel” principle). Honesty doesn’t just mean telling the truth. Deception through omission is just as bad. And when you lose trust in someone you start to question everything they say.
THE RECENT PAST
I started reading the church essays years ago. My first pass, I found them boring and tedious to read. I didn’t feel like I would get anything out of reading them, so I didn’t put much time towards them. I was still working at the bank so I didn’t have a lot of energy to focus on the essays. But over the years, as different topics would come up, I’d go back and read them again. From time to time, over the years, I spent a lot of time thinking about them, what they meant, etc.
After reading/pondering the church essays for years, I couldn’t help but feel like I had been deceived. Even as a missionary, I was told to memorize the first vision account. The same exact account that was retold from the pulpit in the last general conference. Which differs completely from the first written account of the first vision. In fact, every successive account becomes more detailed and elaborate. All my life mom would tell her childhood stories. I got used to seeing stories adapted and exaggerated to entertain (or otherwise). I couldn’t help but feel the same for those varying accounts of the first vision. And the conclusion of the church’s essay on the topic always felt so flimsy. Of all of the accounts, the most “correct” and “full” should be his own written account in his journal AND it shouldn’t have taken him 12 years to write it.
Then, when I would teach as a missionary, I would show the images (provided by the church) of Joseph Smith translating the BoM. I had helped in the dissemination of exaggerations, extended truths, or at worst, blatant lies. I was always taught that Joseph Smith translated the BoM and shown images of him sitting at a table with the open tablets as he read them. In reality, the plates were never used during the “translation” process. In fact, all accounts are that he used his stone in a hat. First time I had ever heard that he used a stone in a hat was an episode of South Park. When friends would ask me about it, I would do my best to explain how he “actually” translated it. Little did I know that I had been taught incorrectly. In fact, that episode portrayed a more honest representation than all of my Sunday school, seminary and institute lessons. First time I ever heard the church admit to JS using a stone in a hat was from the gospel essay and even then they weren’t direct about it’s prominent role.
Subsequently, over the last 6 months or so, I really started to feel deceived. It felt very uncomfortable. That wasn’t the spirit retreating, but learning that something that was woven into every aspect of my life, wasn’t what it claimed to be. The church that told me that “honesty” was the most important thing hadn’t been honest with me.
Aside from honesty, another of my favorite “gospel” topics has always been the pursuit of knowledge.
D&C 131:6 It is impossible for a man to be saved in ignorance.
D&C 90:15 ...and study and learn, and become acquainted with all good books, and with languages, tongues, and people
I reached out to a few people, wanting to discuss the essays. See if I was missing something. Most had never heard of the essays. But even after being introduced, they were like me early on. The essays are boring and tedious. When I asked you for your thoughts on the essay I truly wanted to know if there was something there that I was missing. It doesn’t seem that long ago when we first started talking about the essays, but I’ve definitely come a long way mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
In a previous conference, Uchtdorf gave a talk about doubting your doubts. That was a very unsettling talk. That’s not how you obtain knowledge. There isn’t any aspect of life, in which you ignore data that contradicts your hypothesis. This was a big red flag for me. If the church contains absolute truth, then it can withstand the highest scrutiny. We shouldn’t close our eyes and plug our ears in the presence of doubts. That’s something I would expect to hear from Jehovah’s Witnesses, not a church with absolute truth. Pres. J. Reuben Clark said, “if we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed.” Why such a contradiction in approaches? What happened to the confident, honest approach of J. Reuben Clark? If the church is true, if it is what it claims to be, then there is no need to worry about studying it.
THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE
In the introduction of the BoM it states that it “contains the fulness of the everlasting gospel” and “was the most correct of any book on earth”. We talked about this a little bit while you were here. Both of those statements have always made me feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t contain the fulness of the gospel. It lacks any mention of the most important ordinances for exaltation (endowment, sealings, etc.). Even though I never liked those two statements I always relied on the BoM being the keystone of my faith in the church. That’s what many of the leaders have told us to do. Holland recently quoted Pres. Benson, “The Book of Mormon is the keystone of [our] testimony. Just as the arch crumbles if the keystone is removed, so does all the Church stand or fall with the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.”
During my studies to understand the timeline of the varying first vision accounts I kept seeing references to a CES letter. I assumed it was a letter from the Church Educational System. In fact, it was a letter TO the director of the CES. A young guy was struggling with the essays as I was. He spent months researching and because of his love for history wasn’t bored out of his mind. Long story short his grandfather sent the letter to the director who was a close friend of his. The letter uses church sources and brings up simple, concise points/questions. It was very eye opening, and at the same time very unsettling. There were no opinions in the letter; just questions based on historical documents. I only read about 5 of the 120 pages.
Now I was at a crossroads. The BoM says to read and pray and by my feelings I’ll know. Since I already know that feelings can be manipulated, it makes using them as a guide extremely difficult. The BoM has a perfect setup: pray if it’s true. If you feel good, then it’s true; if you don’t, it’s because you didn’t try hard enough or didn’t have enough faith. Even those little stacks of sentimental stories could make people feel good, warm and fuzzy. Throughout my life when I would ask people if they received an answer, the stories were often very similar. They didn’t receive a strong answer that it was true, but a feeling that they already knew it was. If the promise is so specific and relies so heavily on feelings that can be swayed (even just by the hope that its real) then you would think that the spirit would provide a strong, easily distinguishable answer.
I’ve always appreciated Occam’s razor: the simplest explanation is often the most correct. For the first time in my life, it honestly seemed simpler that the BoM wasn’t the inspired book it claimed to be. That scared the crap out of me. I honestly didn’t know where to go or what to do with it. The simple church answer would be to pray about it. Just read scriptures, close your eyes and bury your head. Uchtdorf would say to just ignore the new data. That seems dishonest. The new data wasn’t opinion, stories, or lies. It was just facts. It would be like saying that dinosaurs didn’t exist because they aren’t mentioned in the bible. Clearly, they did exist.
When I was at Chevron, we focused a lot on Probabilistic Analysis. One of the key things I learned from that was calculating what we called Expected Value. That is the value something has multiplied by its probability of success. For example, if the lottery is worth $1,000 and you have a 0.1% chance of winning then the EV would be $1. Therefore, if tickets only cost $0.50 each, it would make sense to buy them. Now let’s do another example. If the value of the lottery is literally infinite, then the only time that the EV wouldn’t also be infinite is if the probability is exactly zero. Even at the smallest probabilities the expected value is always infinite. If there was the slightest chance/doubt (or probability) that I am wrong, then I wouldn’t be writing this. I would just continue on hoping it were all true because the end prize would literally be infinite.
I have no intentions of sharing everything with you. If you’d be interested, I’d be more than happy to, but I will respect your right to believe what, how, or where you’d like. I would just ask that you offer the same respect to us. I completely understand how people (for various reasons) hold on to the smallest probability that it’s true. But for me, for the first time in my life I can say those words that often come across so hollow; I know, without a shadow of a doubt.
My whole life I was told that the BoM was the keystone, and that without it everything would fall. So, when it fell, everything fell with it. And that has been one of the hardest things we’ve ever gone through, at least emotionally. We wanted it to be real. We wanted all the glorified stories to be true. I’ve hated the Utah culture that permeates the church for years, but I’ve loved many of the underlying principles it teaches.
This has been one of the hardest journeys Em and I have ever been through. Its so frustrating to hear Uchtdorf refers to those that fall away as a “headstrong and unruly child, become angry with God and His Church, pack their bags, and storm out the door proclaiming that they’re running away and never coming back.” Belittling someone for having different beliefs. Such a sad and frustrating approach to helping someone. I truly hope that this is not how you see us. I truly hope that you can respect us enough to understand that we’re clearly not throwing a tantrum and storming out.
I had to keep telling myself, it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault that there are multiple, differing accounts of the first vision. It’s not my fault the first written account was 12 years after it happened. It’s not my fault the stone JS used to translate was the same one he used to search for buried treasures that he never found. It’s not my fault that there were at least three books that pre-dated the BoM that easily form the premise, writing style and plot of the BoM. It’s not my fault that Lucy Smith’s journal accounts often talk of JS telling wonderful stories of native American prophets around the fireplace. It’s not my fault there are many Bible verses in the BoM containing the same translation errors as the 1769 King James Version of the Bible. It’s not my fault that JS had 30 wives, many of whom were already married. It’s not my fault that JS scared young girls to marry him. It’s not my fault that the church has had all of this information and kept it all hidden. The laundry list is endless and none of it is my fault.
OUR FUTURE
There are a lot of amazing principles taught in the church. In fact, a lot of those are what I had extracted out over the years and called the “gospel”. But the church doesn’t own those principles. Those principles exist with or without the church. As a family we’ll decide what our core principles should be. As a family, we’ll add and subtract as we grow. The most amazing part, is being able to honestly analyze those principles and decide for ourselves which are important. In fact, that is actually one of my favorite “gospel” principles.
D&C 58:26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.
Where does this leave us?
We love you guys and truly want to be an important part of your lives. I would even hope that through this honest and vulnerable discussion we can actually grow closer. We’ll do our best to keep church criticism to a minimum and just ask that you’d do the same for us. We’ll respect your continued beliefs; we just ask the same reciprocated.

"The only way to rectify our reasonings is to make them as tangible as those of the Mathematicians, so that we can find our error at a glance, and when there are disputes among persons, we can simply say: Let us calculate [calculemus], without further ado, to see who is right."
~~~Gottfried Leibniz (1646 - 1716)
Before demanding proof, the problem needs to be framed first. I will try to make this write up somewhat of a resource. All the related body of knowledge will hopefully help with the necessary framing. Mathematics by itself cannot prove anything outside the relationships between numbers. But one can formally represent thoughts and/or observations through mathematics in such a way that their consistency can be tested. On some fundamental level we accept these representations even without proof because they look right. The famous 1+1=2 although not yet proven still makes perfect sense. Granted we can provide proofs within a subset of mathematics, in this case algebra, but mathematical proofs on a fundamental level are elusive.
What mathematics does well is to make sense of measurable, comparable and chance scenarios. Relevant to this discussion, the probability that our existence is a mere chance is much more than 10 to the power 50, which is a generally agreed upon number for impossible in most modeling tools. The actual calculated number for life to have occurred by chance is anywhere between 10 to the power 10 and 10 to the power 100. In fact, some even scale the latter number up to several million.
All that I am about to share has been around for decades, a couple even past the half a century mark. Hence, the claim that there is no evidence of God is nothing but sheer ignorance. Some would even claim it is a choice. Then there are those who get discouraged or surrender to their confirmation bias instead of seeing it through, just because somebody claimed to have “debunked” it.
Evidence/proof of God debate
If we were to look for a purely mathematical proof for the “existence” (for want of a better word, God by definition is free from the constraints of time and space) of God that concisely and accurately details such a proof, then look no further than Gödel. But do read on, it is not only about Gödel. There is a tendency in some quarters to attack Gödel’s verified proof (See note 1 below), but here is the thing, it makes no sense to use the old set of rules to attack the new set of rational rules Gödel himself helped formulate.
Let us not forget the crisis in mathematics at the turn of the last century. It was Gödel that made the old set once again tenable to begin with. A reality devoid of necessity, possibility and all the truths that cannot be demonstrated in "all possible worlds" is not real. Most critics of the proof utterly and totally misunderstand the expression “all possible worlds”. It is not a reference to some imaginary far away world(s), the world in question is right here and how we make logic and reason to work and perceive everything in the present. Hence, Gödel’s proof is nothing, but ontological proof expressed mathematically without Hume’s critique of ontological proof applying to it.
Sure, we can argue some more over the maintainability of ontological proofs, but if that would resolve anything to the satisfaction of all then I am all in. Sadly, that is not what the five thousand-year-old history of the issue has taught us.
The often-observed rigid way of demanding proof by some skeptics is at best dated, even mathematicians are moving away from something as fundamental as equality to equivalence. Counter intuitive to some but that is exactly what is happening. And there are very good reasons for that.
Gödel did a fantastic job, however there is another way, for lessor mortals, to go about providing more than enough evidence for the existence of God through mathematics. Before we venture out, the first question that must be raised is, “What attribute of God can be measured with our existing tools?”. Why is this important? Because without any measurement we will lack data to work on. And the analysis of any existing data will remain unresolved if we do not know what we are looking for.
But first allow me to bring in some much-needed context- warning-long read. A lot of you are very well clued into the debate but others may find it useful. It is also hoped that those who were previously exposed to some part of the relevant research will benefit from a properly framed second look.
No matter what kind of proof we come up with, the proof of God is going to be relative; what passed as proof in the era of Vedas, Bible or Quran revelations would be laughed at today and by the same token even if we were to come up with a workable demonstration to prove the existence of a God, people a thousand years from now would think of it as funny, at best. The funny thing is that we cannot even imagine why it would appear funny to them.
So, where do we start? The claim or the many claims pointing to communication between man and God would be one way to go about it. It is of course possible to move the veracity of communication from man to God from the anecdotal to empirical and verifiable by simply scaling it in the same way that it is already done routinely in the case of some anecdotal evidence. An interesting perspective here. However, it will make more sense to focus on the claims of communication from God to man because if there is going to be any measurable attribute of God it is probably going to be in this form of communication.
The question of what exactly it is that one would want to see measured or data collected on and with what, needs gathering.
Before we tackle this issue of communication let us deal with the proverbial “So where is the evidence?” Well there is tons of evidence, the real question ought to be what exactly would one like to see and in what form? If one expects eight neat lines preferably in plain English that should jump at someone and wash away all their currently held conviction then no, it’s not going to happen. Besides, a determined skeptic can simply dig her or his heels in and keep dismissing everything. There is no rational cure for irrationally held convictions.
Please do not say any scientifically verifiable empirical evidence will do.
We must be careful not to slip into Scientism. The very claim “we should only believe what can be scientifically proven” cannot be scientifically proven. It is, first, a philosophical claim and secondly, a classic Self-Defeating Statement. Wanting science to have all the answers doesn’t translate into science having all the answers. That holds true for both the present and the future.
To start with the observable Universe is convincing enough for most people.
A quick take first. To the question “If God created the Universe then who created God?” please refer to infinite regression while keeping in mind the definitional contrast between the creation and the created. Both cannot be part of the same regression chain. A series of similar or identical propositions where the sole demonstration of each one is the previous one, leads to fallacious reasoning. Not to mention category conflict when we want to know who created an infinite being. Another infinite being? If so, then what exactly is infinite to begin with? Mathematically one can play around a bit with infinity in terms of aleph-naught etc. but general infinite is just that, infinite, one infinite.
From another angle, “Who created God?” is a separate question that cannot be used to scrap or answer the original question “Who created the Universe?”. Similarly, even if one were to assume that the Universe was not created does not discount asking the question “Does God exist?”
The current “There is no God” narrative is unraveling fast within the very circles that were leveraged to get it going. In the scientific community, there is a change of attitude being witnessed. Until recently, few scientists would have risked the G-word even in private for obvious reasons. Now they are thinking big.
The issue of information for instance is gaining steam and has in fact moved beyond the “information realism”. In the words of one proponent/Author: Bernardo Kastrup
“As I elaborate extensively in my new book, The Idea of the World, none of this implies solipsism. The mental universe exists in mind but not in your personal mind alone. Instead, it is a transpersonal field of mentation that presents itself to us as physicality—with its concreteness, solidity and definiteness—once our personal mental processes interact with it through observation. This mental universe is what physics is leading us to, not the hand-waving word games of information realism.”
Even evolution itself needs a rethink to accommodate the “beauty” factor. And some have started doing just that by unfreezing Darwin’s original concerns about beauty.
Here is a glimpse into somebody many thinks should get the Nobel prize.
Why science needs imagination and beauty
In a slightly different vein, some take the view that there is no proof that God is responsible for the existence of the Universe even if God exists. Others take the easy route and declare that it is impossible to get to the truth as things stand today.
Funny how easy it is to declare something impossible, in most cases it is reduced to a simple declaration, compared to the effort required to show something that was thought impossible possible.
Yes, that old "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence" again. In the information age, to claim absence when there is presence is the height of ignorance.
The seriousness of any truth claims , cuts both ways. Claims both positive and negative must be backed by evidence. Yes, you can prove a negative. Not only that, but almost any negative claim can be restated in the positive. The supposed argument from silence is not the way to go either. Usually employed to try and dilute existing evidence.
We all are aware of the ever-evolving talking points of the self-appointed “Horsemen” of the “movement”. From the very weak negative existential proposition-one that tries to deny the existence of something- to the faulty analogy of the Spaghetti monsters. This pasta driven improbability scenario seems to have run its course. The shift to the absurd current talking point “God ‘probably’ does not exist” declaration is telling. All of these positions are problematic. Both ontologically and when reduced to naked numbers.
Let me quote Jonathan Sacks, author of The Great Partnership: Science, Religion, and the Search for Meaning, who articulated the issue wonderfully:
“Atheism deserves better than the new atheists whose methodology consists of criticizing religion without understanding it, quoting texts without contexts, taking exceptions as the rule, confusing folk belief with reflective theology, abusing, mocking, ridiculing, caricaturing, and demonizing religious faith and holding it responsible for the great crimes against humanity. Religion has done harm; I acknowledge that. But the cure for bad religion is good religion, not no religion, just as the cure for bad science is good science, not the abandonment of science.”
The current “probably” talking point pushed through the debating circles has opened the door to absurd reactions. How about labeling food as “Probably not poisonous” and airplanes marked “Probably safe to fly.” The debate is not even about the evidence that something is confirmed absent, there is none; the focus must be on defining what will be an accepted form of evidence to an individual when it comes to God. Various claims pointing to tons of evidence needs exploring, however, before evaluating the different forms of evidence, one needs to set individual believability thresholds.
So, what exactly are individual believability thresholds?
Believability is tied to hands-on individual verification and validation. The key is to avoid the “my experts are better than your experts” trap. Hunting for evidence should not be dependent on believing somebody before believing in something, or not believing in something.
So, what’s wrong with experts, one may ask?
Nothing. As long as they all agree on a given body of knowledge. The problem arises when two “experts” derive completely opposite conclusions from the same set of facts, and one is back to square one. And ironically left with a leap of faith between competing claims. Often confirmation bias is the easy route out.
The other logical question to ask would be why not become an expert yourself?
Always an option for those who can hack it, not to mention the cost associated with gaining expert level knowledge. Did somebody mention 10,000 hours? Even at minimum wage that will add up to a pretty sum. Even 1,000 hours will be a bridge too far for most.
What is the point?
The point is that the evidence needs to be in a form that any reasonably educated person can understand and internalize it.
So how do we define any reasonably educated person?
How about Reading, Writing,and Arithmetic? That sounds about right. And we may only need two out of three here.
Let us also tackle the question, read taunt, of which God?
I think we need to go past that one very quickly, God must be one and the only God unless we go back now and change the definition of God. Besides, when the evidence is verified, this question will resolve itself automatically for each individual,irrespective of what name he or she calls God. Which, by the way, is a more accurate reflection of the “different gods” taunt, as opposed to actual different gods. Besides, it would seem that we are wired for oneness.
Let’s come back to what type and/or level of evidence will satisfy someone? To some it would seem as an attempt to shift the burden of proof remember the burden of proof is on the claimant, as we are constantly reminded. Actually, not in this case. What does it have to do with someone helping someone else find suitable evidence from the already published works? If we want some help, then it doesn't hurt to help facilitate the process. One also always has the option of going it alone. That is, if one is able to get past one’s own impossibility mindset.
The essence of inquiry is that we must start out by asking questions. We only ask questions when we are not satisfied with the usual canned answers. So, let us revisit the three most often discussed:” What is the purpose of life?”, “Where did we come from?”, and most importantly,” Where are we headed?”.
What about those who are not interested in chasing answers and are happy with things as they stand? In that case, there is no issue to resolve, at least not for the time being. However there is evidence that points to our tendencies to seek spirituality. Let us not forget a consensus is growing that 40 plus is the age of maturity, at least for men, women mature a little earlier, hence most have time. This is something that cannot be forced but bringing it to the attention of those not yet aware, in the best possible way, of course, must be an obligation as well. We can compare it to a safety or security issue, if one knows that a certain path is harmful (through a minefield for instance) to the point that irreparable damage is a possibility, then not pointing it out is irresponsible in the least and can even be termed criminal by some.
After a while, it became clear to many of us that between the fence sitters and the blind faith proponents there must be a third way. Although the militant Atheist deserves to be ignored (I don’t know and you don’t know), along with the Existentialists (at best an idealistic doctrine), my question to the fence sitters is: “How long are you willing to wait?”.
If we were all immortals, then I would jump up and sit on the fence right beside you lot and wait. This belief, non-belief, is not going to help me as an individual if the answers are not forthcoming within my lifetime and preferably earlier part of it. I have to shape my life now and ensure I don't miss a trick. Even by taking on Pascal's deficient wager I am still spreading my bets better than most. The write and wrong of it from a philosophical point of view is irrelevant to me as an individual. I am on the clock.
If the desire is to look for answers, then the first question towards that end is a question of dealing with our current constraint; so, we circle back to what attribute of God can be measured with our existing tools. Without going into too much detail of how most of God’s attributes are out of our reach except one, let me make a case for the one that can be tested despite our constraints in a bit. In this way we can hopefully distance ourselves from the difficulty of defining what mathematics itself is or for that matter how a human mind works.
Coming back to the issue of being “satisfied” with “things as they stand”, Science has highlighted the fact that at a certain age the mind is no longer satisfied with “it is what it is”. The prefrontal cortex continues to grow and there are competing theories as to when it peeks but this much is agreed upon, a search for life’s purpose and direction keeps growing with age.
Let us quickly go through some other popular themes. Some may ask, if there is a God then won’t it be his or her responsibility to show us the evidence? Yes, indeed that is a logical position. The first thing that needs exploring is this very fact: did God already communicate the evidence/proof for his existence to us, that is all of us?
Then there is the “Why doesn't God just show himself”? Apparently to every single person out there.
Instead of getting into second-guessing God as to why God doesn’t just show himself to every single person, let’s stay with the evidence for God’s existence. When we meet God, we can always ask that particular question (s) at that time. In the meantime, let us focus on the doable. Besides, once God decides to do that then it is game over and none of what is being discussed will be relevant at that point.
Let’s also put aside questions like; why not pray to God and ask him to bend the physical laws of nature? A small demo will do, some may ask. Well, unless the demo is with a running commentary from God himself, it may be of very little use to us. Not to mention the fact that then we will be veering into an on-demand demo from God scenario. Interesting! That old efficacy of prayer again.
George Burnap articulated it well.
“God governs the universe by fixed and uniform laws, not only for the sake of order but for human good... The fulfillment of every human desire would break up this order and bring everything into disorder and confusion.”
And we actually find evidence of this, more on that later …
Measuring attributes of God
So finally, we will try to narrow down the one attribute of God that can be tested, at least to a certain degree. First up omnipresence. Do we currently have the tools to test God’s omnipresence? Given the fact that we are still struggling to confirm the presence of over 80% of what constitutes the Universe around us, so no, the omnipresence of God is a far cry for now. Similarly, testing for the omnipotence of God has its own set of constraints. Chief among them, linking any event to God, not to mention what level of testable power, within a given event, that can be “witnessed”, will be enough to term it Godlike. And then there is always going to be the issue of the on-demand occurrence of such an event.
So, what is left?
In fact, there is one attribute of God that can be tested both in terms of the past, the present and the projected future and that is God’s omniscience, which is intelligence and knowledge without measure. We may not have the tools to explore the full extent of God’s intellect, but we can set ourselves realistic criteria which should be sufficiently advanced to be termed Godlike and then try to apply them.
This also fits very well within the energy, matter and information trinity of General system theory. We see how the input of data is the key to making any system work. Closely related is the order to create the information for input and the order to initiate the input of the same. More on that can be found here
So once again, where do we start?
An excellent evergreen question. The most logical place to start testing for Godlike intelligence would be in any possible communication from God, as previously touched upon. Hence, focusing on claims in the name of God will be a good starting point. Here we will be relying on Mr. Occam and his instrument of choice. Before we proceed, it may be a good time to set some ground rules in order to maximize the chances of success. The first logical premise will have to be that the claim is of actual communication as opposed to reporting on such communication from God, in other words, the very word of God where God unambiguously and repeatedly claims to be the author of the communication.
The second premise has to be that the communication is intact and in its original form. The reason for this particular condition is pretty obvious. If we can’t have access to the original form, then we will be restricted to merely what is said in the communication and to some extent on who conveyed the message. What we need is to be able to run forensics .
This line of thinking, some may feel, is preparing the ground for countering the circular argument criticism of the like, “It is true because the Bible/Quran/Veda says it is true”. Criticism aside, given the modern tools at our disposal, we should be able to test and do a forensic audit for other than what is said in these claims of communication from God. The logical place to start once again must be the major religions of the world because those messages obviously have had the biggest impact.
Going by the historical records, the one religious book that can be dated very close to the claimed original events is the Quran. The recent Birmingham manuscripts come to mind.
Here again some may say that it is a case of cleverly steering the argument in the favor of one religion. I don’t know about the steering bit, but yes, we should always go where the argument takes us. It is reasonable to assume that if close to two billion people believe in something similar, it is worth investigating first.
Some may say, “Surprise, surprise!”. Sarcasm noted, but I am willing to stick my neck out with considerable confidence. Interesting to note that most of those who champion the new Atheism have a special bias reserved for Islam. Do they already know something?
So, when do we get to the juicy stuff if there is any?
Modern communication protocols
One thing I can guarantee you is plenty of juice. So, here is how I will try to build the case. Let me first touch upon how we authenticate the integrity of communication in modern times and then try and build a case for the integrity of the message of the Quran in a layered approach. The believability is tied to individual discoveries that build into literally a tsunami of evidence, and the accrued punch it packs.
The so far discovered markers in the Quran point to the fact that there is something for everyone. From the very simple to mind-boggling complication as one would expect from a divine message.
The reason for this lengthy context was to try and satisfy as many people along the way and deal with the often-asked questions as we went along.
So, here is the important bit. The way we authenticate a modern communication is by embedding metadata in the message itself. That is data that says something about the data being communicated. If we want the data secured, then we encrypt it on top of that. I am not going to devolve too deep into the field of signal transmission or the vast field of encryption but just touch on the principles on which they are based.
The Quran’s markers are in fact not only related to these principles but break new grounds in helping us view this field. The layers I referred to have to do with both reading a straightforward text on one hand and becoming aware of the arrangement of this very text in ways that give us additional information. In the same way text mining and text analytics work. The evidence of God for the non-experts but reasonably educated, can be found in this additional information. Interestingly there is enough of it to keep even the experts busy for thousands of years to come, yes, thousands at least.
Modern communications rely on packets of information. Every transmission consists of hundreds of these packets which are routed through various nodes of a given network or interconnected networks. The packets leave the point of origin and may or may not follow the same route and then are reassembled at the intended destination point using the header information which contains the metadata attached to each packet. Currently, there is a constant back and forth exchange between the origin and destination points of each message which ensures that all packets are accounted for. The technology is already in place where even this constant cross-checking of packets between the point of origin and the destination point will not be necessary. Simple algebraic equation will be applied to packets themselves and the message as a whole, to authenticate the integrity of messages (s) on arrival. The Quranic transmission, in fact, takes these principles to a whole new level.
Early findings
This whole thing picked up speed with a chap called Muhammad Fuad Abdul Baqi. Basically, what he did was to index every single word used in the entire Quran. In fact, he did it for Hadith (The claimed sayings of the Prophet of God) books as well, but as one would expect only the Quran exhibits the phenomenon we will be exploring. There are claims for patterns in other religious texts as one would anticipate but those, when compared with the Quran, are like the showing of the proverbial candle to the sun. It’s the sheer quantity and complexity of the discovered data that set it uniquely apart. Not finding the patterns in other books does not mean they lose all value. Not being in their original form has a lot to do with it of course.
So, how will we connect all this to the evidence of God? The very fact that not only God in first person is claiming to be the author of the Quran - remember our first premise - but the Author of the Quran throws down the gauntlet to all comers to reproduce a work like it. Still, we are not going to take what Quran says at face value as of yet.
Logically, “because the book says so” will make more sense after we first establish the authenticity of the Quran the product. We will initially try to verify and validate the complexity of its content to such an extent that it should point to something way beyond coincidences and firmly in the sphere of a Godlike intelligence. Once the verification process is done, we can then revisit and see what is being said in it and find the connection to the source of the communication. In short, the focus is to get to a framework where evidence of God can be justified, presented and verified.
As I previously mentioned, some of you may have been exposed to some aspect of this phenomenon, in both a positive way and a negative manner. What is missing from most understandings is the fact that this thing is several levels deep. A determined skeptic may boohoo one aspect of it but when the larger picture emerges only the very blind will be able to ignore it.
Before I introduce the most basic first layer, the word count, it is important to point out that this is not numerology, no memory tricks, no mirrors and certainly no smoke. Just straight up math. What we have is a number of interrelated patterns based on counts and the positioning of words, terms, and letters. The signature of God is in the scale and complexity of these arrangements. In contrast, the most famous of the Bible code is based on Equidistance Letter Sequence (ELS) and that too in well-defined very limited number of boxes. The Quranic patterns are not only several layers deep but touch each and every chapter, verse, word and even letter of the Quran.
The reason I will mostly stick with counting/Arithmetic is because in addition to our self-imposed “no experts” constraint, deriving definite and sound conclusions from the various “scientific” verses of the Quran is not always obvious if one lacks the relevant domain knowledge. Given that the natural languages, by definition, are elastic, and a case can always be made to say that is not what the author meant etc. Quran, in fact, has an elegant solution for it. More on that later.
Apologies for deferring tolater, but there is so much to cover. The other issue why these references to scientific phenomenon need to be sidelined, is the accusation that a lot of the present discoveries had some references in different ancient manuscripts, both religious and otherwise. Hence the author could have had access to them and thus no miracle. Therefore, we will stick as close to prior as humanly possible. Even though theywould be lottery winning odds to somehow conclude that the author got lucky by not dragging in the mountain of proven wrong references scattered in the same type of sources where he allegedly sourced his scientifically correct descriptions.
In the interest of framing the issue accurately allow me one last digress. Before we get into the structural elements of the Quran, it is important to keep in mind two important fundamentals. The first one has to do with the multitude and diversity of rhetorical tools employed in the Quran and second has to do with the number of domains the text tackles. The former sprawls across alliteration, analogy, antiphrasis, antithesis, asyndeton, assonance, cadence, chiasmus, epizeuxis, equivoque, homonymy, hyperbole, isocolon, simile, metaphor, metonymy, palindrome, parenthesis, polyptoton, rhetorical questioning, and synecdoche. The latter takes it to another level. Quran is not only a complete and comprehensive political and economic system on one hand, but the depth and breadth of its narration even covers social and personal mannerisms, including marital discipline.
At its core, the Quran establishes rules relating to fair governance, economic equality and resource allocation, inheritance and property rights, criminal justice, astronomy, chemistry, biology, psychology, sociology, business and so on.
It was important to go through all that before we get into the numbers and ratios.
Quran is a sea of knowledge expressed in the most eloquent manner possible. It is also important to point out that extensive knowledge of the Arabic language is not a must to be able to verify the evidence in question, reason and logic is, which in a way makes the Quran more or less language neutral.
So, what is this numbers “game” of the Quran?
Layers of the Quranic patterns
The order I will be introducing these layers in, is based on my personal understanding and can actually be used in any given combination and quite a bit of overlap should be expected. In fact, we see that almost every discovered pattern extends beyond its core location and touches a number of other points in the Quran. In all probability pointing to a super structure or structures.
... Continued in Part II of III

When my grandpa died, my grandma moved and bought a condo from this one elderly woman who had multiple husbands that died. Before we moved in with her, she was having weird occurrences there. I remember she told us that she’d be sleeping upstairs in her bedroom and wake up in the middle of the night and someone was playing with her toes, like pulling them. She also said one night it was as if someone or something was pushing her bed against the wall with absolute force. She was getting weird experiences and feelings. One night she said aloud “whoever you are, stop bothering me, or give me the winning lottery numbers” whatever was bothering her stopped for a while. After we moved in, some things happened over the years.
My first occurrence there was it was snowing in December one year, I just got GTA 5 for the PS3 and was playing it upstairs on my TV it was 2am and I got this weird feeling to turn around as if something was watching me. I turned to my right, as soon as I looked, the sunroof fogged up more and more as I looked for a couple seconds, all of a sudden an imprint of like a mouth or a lip appeared fogged up on the sunroof. In a heartbeat I turned my PS4 off and ran downstairs where I sleep. Our dog always used to bark in the dark hallways of our house and keep backing up as if he saw someone or something. Another time, I was up by myself, and I had the lamp light on next to me, I went to turn it off and was on my way downstairs, as soon as I just got done shutting every light off upstairs, right as I opened the door to the basement and started to walk down the steps I saw a light pop on in the corner of my eye. I turned and the same lamp light that I was sitting next to before just went back on. I went to go turn it back off and went downstairs to sleep. When my dad got up for work at 3am, every light in the house was turned on, all the lamps, the kitchen, the bathroom ones, every light possible.
One night I went to bed and my family and I were all sleeping downstairs. It was 3am and my mom and I were on our phones and we heard walking, footsteps upstairs, and closets opening and closing. No one was up there but my grandma. She would not be up at 3am. We heard this for about 30 mins on and off somewhat faintly. Finally we got the courage to go upstairs and no one was there, my grandma was fast asleep. The next morning we told my grandma, it occurred to her that, the night before when it happened was the date my grandpa died 5 years prior.
One afternoon my dad was out, and my brother was working and my mom and I went to go pick up my brother from work. My grandma was the only one home. My grandma was aware that no one was home, she walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and heard MY VOICE calling her from the back room “Grandma come here” she knew I was not home, no one was. She stayed in the kitchen till we got home.
One night my mom fell asleep on the couch upstairs watching tv. Couldn’t tell you what time it was but it was night time. She woke up and saw a young boy sitting above our TV set in the square space part of the wall almost hiding, the boy looked at her and put his finger in front of his mouth like he was telling her to be quiet while he was playing hide and seek.
One year around Christmas, we had all our Christmas presents under the tree, we had presents against the wall too some stacked up. Everyone was in the kitchen and I was just sitting on the couch on my Nintendo DS in the family room looking down. All of a sudden it sounded like someone picked up a box and threw it as hard as they could against the corner wall, I was convinced something had to have broken while I was looking up to see what happened. Nothing was knocked over, everything was exactly like it was. Everyone was talking in the kitchen, no one heard it but me, even though the sound happened around all of us. Strange..
Growing up my brother always got blamed for when things went missing. He used to eat food stored away in cabinets and the fridge and lie about ever eating it. One morning before highschool, around 6am, my bro and I were laying in bed, both of our phones were charging upstairs too. My mom opens the basement door and yells “Anthony! What did you do with the Peanutbutter!” My bro goes “I didn’t eat any peanut butter, I don’t know!” They we’re arguing from the basement to upstairs at a distance. My mom randomly gets this message pop up on her phone saying “Not everyone likes peanutbutter, Not everyone likes peanutbutter.” It repeated twice, then went completely off her phone. She tried finding the message and it was no where in her messages on her phone, it popped up with no phone number completely disappeared after she had time to read it. She thought it was him at first and then saw both of our phones charging upstairs on the table and freaked out.
Another time, around 8:00pm at night I was again, playing my DS and downloading something on it, everyone was in the basement and my mom wasn’t home yet from bowling. Tv was off, and clear as day almost as if someone was face to face with me, I heard a very distinct “Hello” almost exactly like my dead cousin used to say it and his same tone of voice right in front of me. My cousin Andy died years before this incident, I was really close to him.
Occasionally while we’re all in the basement sleeping late at night I’ll be playing PS4, and the door to the basement is closed, but every now and then it sounds like someone is pressing their body up against the door to the basement, it’s a weird sound I don’t know how to describe.
Just last year I was playing PS3 downstairs and came upstairs at 2am to get something to eat. As I opened the door to the basement to come upstairs I saw a ball of light hovering over my kitchen table, all the lights were off so obviously it was real noticeable. As soon as I got a glimpse of this ball of light it was almost as if I wasn’t supposed to see it or was intervening, it quickly swept into the direction of my family room and disappeared after that never to be seen again.
Even today I feel like someone is touching my body with their hand lightly at night and no one is next to me.
A weird thing that happened a lot since we moved in about 8 years ago, everyone’s clothes started going missing and randomly appearing days later, especially mine. Sometimes I wouldn’t find them for months, and just randomly appear out of the blue. It would piss me off a lot.
The VERY LAST thing that’s happened. We were all downstairs sleeping. My mom got a call on her cellphone at 3am from my grandma asking why the neighbor was in her bedroom and why she’s hiding from her now. My mom and I ran upstairs and my grandma was startled but no one was there in her room with her. My grandma kept saying she was hiding, but she said this woman had red hair and said 3 words to her but she forgot what the woman said. She thought it was the neighbor because she couldn’t think of another logical explanation even though the neighbor doesn’t have red hair.
The scariest part of all these stories is...
I’m still living in that house today. We haven’t had an occurrence since, we did nothing to stop it either. The more I got involved with God and educating myself on spirits and demons and whatnot, they stopped bothering us randomly, not saying that had any tie to it, but the coincidence is impeccable. Just like God knows us, so does the Devil and Demons. Why do you think they can mimic your voice, your appearance, things you’d say? Why do you think you get tempted to sin? Nightmares from them? They know what you love, what you fear, how to break you, they try to seperate you from God, and if your already a non-believer they don’t bother try to seperate you for you are already an easy target for them. Yes, it would only make sense for the evil that tries destroying your life to learn all there is to know about their targets which is us, but God gave us life to live abundantly and not in fear, the one who created us all and chose us, and breathed life into us, will forever protect us if we let him. It’s worked for me, I never fear evil nor will I for I know I would just call upon God and Gods word if I ever lived in fear, for God’s word is powerful. When I say I stopped getting activity in my house after educating myself more, and seeking out God and Jesus more, I mean it, no coincidence. Because the closer you are to God the more you come to life and know yourself and the Devil fears how God will use you for his plan, I would be honored.
“For even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy rod, and thy staff, they comfort me.”
“I cover myself in the precious blood of Jesus Christ”
“I command you to show yourself in the name of the true Lord Jesus Christ, my lord and savior” - “I cover you in the precious blood of Jesus Christ, begone demon for I rebuke you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Every morning, say “I put on the armor of God today, nothing can hurt me, for God is with me”
Use Gods words from the Bible, they hate that, all Evil trembles in the name of the Lord and they fear you if you know how to use it, for in Gods words, we have power.

When I was a Christian, Roman Catholic to be precise, there were a lot of concepts that over time became more and more difficult to wrap my head around. The Eucharist, the Trinity, the Problem of Evil, and more. What made it worse was I had no one to discuss these things with, either someone wouldn't know enough about it to engage in meaningful discussion or they were a believer who would dismiss any valid logical or philosophical points that I'd raise. This led to a lot of unresolved problems which eventually became the undoing of my faith. Today I'd like to share with you one such problem you're likely familiar with, but I've yet to find it discussed in the way that I'm about to. I thought at least some of you may be interested in this and I'd very much like to know your thoughts on this. The topic in question is what I'm now referring to The Lucifer Paradox. This refers to what I feel is the paradoxical nature of the stories surrounding LucifeSatan's story, specifically his fall and the birth of evil in Christian mythology. Join me as I delve into some of my thoughts/observations on this matter of why the story of Lucifer does not make sense in general but especially as a backstory for evil and as an explanation of its motives.
​
Part One: Who and What is Lucifer?
The name "Lucifer" originates from one of the names of the planet Venus. Venus is known as the morning star, which is what the name "Lucifer" means (or, more literally, light-bringer in Latin). This is due to the fact that Venus is the brightest "star" in the early morning sky but then is no longer clearly visible at night. This is where the motif of the brightest star, the greatest being trying to ascend to greatness only to be cast down comes from.
You can find legends and records of this dating back thousands of years, even back to the time before Judaism. The Morning Star has been personified in a variety of ways in many cultures, for our purposes we're of course focusing on our old pal Lucifer, the archangel. Lucifer was, according to legend, the chief of the Archangels, greatest and most trusted of God's lieutenants, and the most favored of God's "sons".
Lucifer was believed to have been God's right-hand man, or right-hand archangel, tasked with the command of the Heavenly Host. Being an archangel, Lucifer would have been a very powerful being, there's a lot that could be said about what angels are and what they're like. This is actually part of the problem, there is no consistency on what angels are, exactly. A key thing to mention here is the issue of whether or not angels have free will.
I would talk to priests about this but even the Catholic Church, which of course is one of the most dogmatic and oldest branches of Christianity, did not have a consensus on what angels truly were and whether they had free will. This is important once you start to think about what Lucifer did. But more on that later. The most I ever learned about the Catholic perspective on angels was when I talked to the priest who taught one of my philosophy courses in undergrad. He said that angels are believed to not possess free will because they possess grace instead, which he explained to be perfect knowledge of good and evil, as well as perfect understanding of God and thus were incapable of choosing to stray from or disobey him. God's presence and knowing him was supposed to be so powerful that it is impossible to act in a way that would disrupt that or go against God. The problem with this is, of course, that Lucifer did exactly that, but we'll elaborate on that later.
Then, of course, there's the idea that angels do have free will, which in theory makes sense since they are on a higher level of existence and, presumably, in a better position to make decisions. But in practice, given what we "know" about God in the scope of Christian mythology, how could any being in his presence choose to defy him or do anything which would lead to not being in his presence/favor? This is the first part of the paradox, which brings us to...
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Part Two: The Fall
The Fall of Lucifer and his fellow rebellious angels is a famous one which has some vague references in the bible but is mostly found in non-Biblical sources both in ancient texts and in texts such as Paradise Lost by John Milton which is where many of the modern mythology and ideas surrounding Lucifer and his fall became mainstream. In this section, we will tackle 1.) What and when was the Fall? 2.) Why did the Fall take place? and 3.) What role is it meant to play in Christianity as a whole?
1.) What and when was the Fall?
The Fall refers to the Fall of Lucifer and his fellow rebellious angels from grace and from God/heaven. It is generally thought to have occurred before creation, though some accounts have it taking place after the creation of humans but before Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden. The broad-strokes of the Fall are that Lucifer, for reasons we will address in a bit, rebelled against God, convincing 1/3rd of the other angels to join him. God and the other loyal angels, especially Lucifer's brother and fellow archangel Michael, handily defeated them and cast them from heaven into hell where they became demons and Lucifer himself, like the eponymous "star" (Venus), fell into the night and lost his light, becoming Satan/the Devil/etc.
2.) Why did the Fall take place?
This is where the inconsistencies in the story really start to become a problem, but the most common explanation is that Lucifer, in his pride and hubris, became jealous and even envious of God's power and sought to overthrow him and replace him. This obviously is very, for lack of a better word, stupid because God is supposed to be omnipotent and thus impossible to overthrow.
Another explanation is that Lucifer hated and/or was jealous of humans due to how much God loved them and because he felt they were beneath him and nothing but mere beasts and thus was revolted by the idea of being asked to serve them and love them. This particular theory has become more popular in recent years, nowadays its most well-known portrayal is on the tv show "Supernatural" wherein Lucifer hates humans and so he rebels against God because he rejects not God but his creation. Lucifer wanted to rule creation not serve it.
The last one I'll mention is a bit more complicated, but also perhaps the most interesting. It states that Lucifer felt that God was using humans, who had free will, to make it so they would "choose to love them", the problem being that humans did not possess the full knowledge or understanding that angels were supposed to, knowledge which Lucifer thought they were entitled to and should be given a genuine choice as to whether or not to love God. Lucifer thought humans should be given knowledge of good and evil and be allowed to make an informed rather than forced choice. This led to Lucifer secretly giving or bringing humans to this knowledge and led to his subsequent banishment.
We will delve more into the ramifications and plausibility of these explanations later.
3.) What role is it meant to play in Christianity as a whole?
The commonly accepted explanation, or at least the one I heard most often, is the 1st one explained above, and its role is to simply illustrate how even one so holy and close to God as Lucifer can fall from grace. It also is the foundation of the idea that evil is, at its core, anything which is an affront to God himself and/or his will. The second explantation, while less popular, serves much the same role when used but is obviously open to more interpretation.
Lucifer, now known as Satan, is meant to be the prime example of sin, the source of evil. He chose to rebel against God and lead his most prized creation into sin and damnation. He is the antithesis of all that God is and he is the embodiment of all that is dark and evil and bad in the world. Or so the story goes...
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Part 3: The Paradox
The paradox, as it were, seems to me to be predicated largely on the supposed intentions of Lucifer which even in their own mythology do not make sense, even with differing details and interpretations. Let's first talk more about the implications of the issue of angelic free will on the Lucifer story.
Assume for a moment that Lucifer did not have free will, he was, like all angels, in a state of grace in perfect harmony with God. He had knowledge of good, evil, as well as knowledge of who God was and of heaven and creation. He was a higher being with a level of knowledge and understanding that would presumably be incomprehensible to the likes of us. How could such a being even rebel against God? Lucifer simply making that decision would immediately imply that he has free will or something fundamentally shifted within Lucifer's being, but how could this happen without an external force causing it such as God himself? Angels not having free will just does not seem to work given the nature of what happened with Lucifer. So I think it's safe to assume that they do have free will, it's just perhaps very difficult to get them to make a choice that differs from God's will, difficult but not impossible, clearly.
So Lucifer had free will, we're assuming, and he decides to rebel against God. Why? We went over the explanations earlier, but think purely from a pragmatic position. Why would any being, including and especially Lucifer who was closest to and thus knew God best, decide to overthrow him? God is all-powerful, all-knowing. He'd know what Lucifer was going to do before he even created you (which raises all sorts of problems with free will and the origin of evil but that's a topic for another day) and he'd be able to stop Lucifer before he even tried, and maybe he just allows it in order to respect free will, but he still could easily stop Lucifer after the fact. Lucifer would know all this going into it, and he'd know that God knows what he's planning and that he'd be powerless to do anything.
In any of the scenarios given in the last section, Lucifer would rebel knowing that he'd lose. Sure, there's the argument that his pride blinded him, but it's very hard to believe that Lucifer would be that stupid and foolish. Lucifer could rebel, yes, but it would be impossible for him to win and God would have created him knowing that this would happen. Perhaps Lucifer found this out and the knowledge that he would rebel and God creating him anyway is what broke Lucifer's faith and caused him to rebel. All of the other explanations do not make sense when you consider how well Lucifer must have known God, he would have known he could not defeat him, he would have known his intentions for creating the world and humans, and he would have known the cost of defying him. So then, what made Lucifer rebel? This brings us to the Lucifer Paradox.
Lucifer was closest to God, knew him best. He was supposed to have been the first and greatest of God's creations, his most beloved. Lucifer may have known God in a way no other being ever could. Given the fact he rebelled, one can logically assume, given what we've already discussed, that he learned something about God that caused him to rebel. God created him knowing that he would rebel, and he did so anyway and did not choose to not make him or make him differently so he would not rebel. Lucifer may have learned this terrible, unthinkable truth. Why is it terrible? Angels had free will, they knew of the possibility of evil, but not the reality of it. Thus, their choice was essentially the illusion of one, with no real alternative. This, perhaps, was not enough for God, much like when a computer or someone required by their job to be nice to you says something kind. Or if you win the lottery and suddenly everyone is your best friend. It feels wrong, fake, unearned, isolating, etc.
How do you give someone a fair, informed choice? You give them options, 2 at a minimum and they need to know both choices as well as possible. Angels only had one choice, and they were not in a position to be persuaded without God forcing it, defeating the purpose. He needed a fresh, more malleable, and innocent set of beings to make this choice. This brings us to humanity. They at first knew only of good and of God, could he simply tell them about evil? Well, not really, because he's God. If it comes from him directly, they'd naturally choose him. He needed someone else to do this for him, to present an alternative. However, who would do this? As we've established, free will cannot truly exist yet, in earnest, until genuine choice is generated by a being who is not God since God is inherently good. Someone needed to make the impossible choice, the one which was not available yet, someone needed to choose to rebel and become /personify that choice.
Who better than Lucifer? He's the one closest to and most beloved by God, he'd be the last one to make such a choice, and thus him making that choice would make it truly evil, given the logic we're going with, since it would defy God, though he would only become truly good when he's held against an opposite, opposing force. As we already mentioned, he created Lucifer to make the choice to rebel and be the perfect person to do so. Lucifer, at some point, given what we have discussed, is very likely to have learned this truth, and realizing the implications as already presented, was prompted to defy his fate, which was God's will. He defied his fate, thus defying God's will, thus rebelling against him. Thus, "evil", as God needed/wanted it to be, was born. In defying his fate, Lucifer fulfilled it. He, in turn, presented this choice to humans, who then defied God as well, thus creating true free will and what God was confident was a genuine, binary choice. Even better, their punishment would necessitate suffering and make their choice to love him even more meaningful to him.
So that's the paradox right? Lucifer learned of his fate and thus in trying to prevent it, fulfilled it? No. That Lucifer, in order to bring free will into existence, needed to be the one being deprived of it? No.
God needed evil to exist in order to be seen as truly good and to be truly loved in a way that wasn't artificial, forced, or fake. Thus, he needed to force it by creating evil by making Lucifer, a being created to know and love God more than any other, who would choose to betray him by choosing not to betray him. He'd rebel by refusing to rebel, a choice that was made for him before he was even created.
Thus, my friends, the Lucifer Paradox is this: The choice which begat evil, the choice to rebel, could not be made and was not made in earnest by Lucifer. This choice was made by God himself the moment God decided to make him. The choice to commit the first evil and rebel against God was made by God, thus making God evil and thus making Lucifer good for opposing him. The only way to make himself good and loved was to force the one he loved most to hate him and commit evil, itself being an evil act and a terrible betrayal, and making Lucifer good and right for rebelling. Welcome to the Paradox. Discuss.

Yeah I mean everyone's reactions to things are subjective we just base our baseline effects on the most reported common experiences and feelings. Like I can go to sleep on moderate doses of LSD and really the only part of any "come down" I go thru on any psychs/empaths is that I'm not feeling the peak anymore and wish I was lol just a missing of a feeling I KNOW to be temporary, like life itself where you wanna carry your past like it's who you are, instead of recognizingnits what made you and the only moment that ever exists or matters in your life experience is the now and trusting you're following the right path by following your heart in the choices you make is what helps make someone who used to be chemically dependent and addicted to shooting heroin and cocaine into a person with something I'd never had, confidence.
(I stopped identifying as sober or telling people how long I've been clean unless they really wanna know because it's NOT an identity. It's a trait that defines your inability to deal with self control and conveniently frees you of blame that's just a fact imho and good on you if the program helps you. Ill.mever judge or try to persuade anyone that their belief systems are flat out wrong or philisophically stupid in life. Like as long as you're not causing direct harm to another individual, do whatever you want, free will is here for a reason (whether it's real.or not doesn't ultimately matter with the right understanding of knowing only you can control your mental state, and were not SUPPOSED to judge what the baseline normal for that is, so most "insane" people are just totally regular in my book, they are experiencing the entirety of reality in different ways than biologically intended (another question to raise there what is the ultimately considered "standard reality" . That being said, I think aa/na have a lot of very.positive things, it's just seems a majority of people cant seem to move past the fact of they used to do drugs and now that they dont there's only room to grow as a person or figure out the actual drug played no part in shitting on your life, it's how you use it and every decision you make is as important as anything will ever be. The mere existence of matter in space time let alone life, sentient life, and intelligent life that rapidly evolves and grows is an INSANE miracle that a journey to god(or deep understanding of quantum mechanics) is a wondrous icing on the cake for. The more I rebelled against the idea of a divine will path or plane, name it idgaf, the more I just was crushed with knowledge experiences and understanding of certain mathematics and their application to nature and the key to simulating physics and the electromagnetic world just drives you to this weird revelation that just seems to hammer the idea/concept of a higher power or being existing and that the feeling of truly, and I mean this sincerely, sitting down and trying to "feel god" or bring about the feeling of EVERYTHING wonderous or terrible and sitting alone and concentrating on the feelings and lucidly try to overlay all the beautiful and awful memories you have together until it's all just one feeling, and that feeling, by god, Is otherworldly and profoundly beautiful. I've cried my eyes out in joy multiple times explaining this and the first time I did it cemented my happiness of having a bit fucking part at all in life and the experiment of truly living, past thoughts of mortality, reasonably moral code (again all subjective. The biggest shitbag on earth could technically die a happy death and return to home, heaven, the center etc if his own soul believes truly that they lived a good, fulfilling, enjoyable life. I find it truly conflicting n3cauase this means to me a hugely important system in life is the part before death and the mindset preceding it. It's fucked up that we can't or don't usually talk to dying people sincerely about the subject, which seems Like a gigantic help in people coming to the end of mortality. I.have a 90 year old gma that if she doesnt get sick, natural causes would do their work in a decade or so, if being extremely hopeful. And I seem to be the only one who understands how shes feeling and acknowledge the selfishness, fear and desperation of trying to leep her at like one of our houses or just not leaving her alone, to peacefully tend to her garden and live the rest of her life without the projected dread of death from everyone else. She knows she's going home and i think it breaks her heart but fills it with so much compassion because she loves her living family to death, but is a widow who never remarried (cancer) and a son that died at 7 of leukemia that she will tell the story to this day of watching him die and the light leave his eyes after telling her he could "see dad" and not to worry cause they'll meet again soon and that he'll always live inside memories shared of him. Like he had professed profound truths to my grandma, who, after 80 years of being sharper than most 40/50year olds, the last 10 years have.marked a noticable decline in her mental ability, like her sense of time and context is slipping, with signs off early dementia. Shes not stupid so why try to keep her alive as something she's not. If she wants to go quietly in her house where shes lived the majority of her life and has painted it with her soul. It just emits auras of protection and care almost like no other place in my head, then for fucks sake let her go on her own terms and find out how she's FEELING, without fear of talking about death. Grieving would be.a celebratory ritual of one's lost life if people approached death correctly (but not my job to preach. I put my crazy ideas out here and just hope someone thinks it all makes as much sense as I do, or stimulates them to seek profound truths and knowledge and improve the spiritual life is one of the most rewarding feelings and I do it because knowing that someone else out there is asking questions or pondering why or what got us here, and knowing you incited that spark, is the most joyous feeling that comes from a place of pure selflessness. I reap no rewards, I don't force views or try to change others, just make them sometimes question the things they're told. I try to incite the fire that lights the fuse that blows your soul right out of existential prisons and pain. Truly believing everything is perfect and running with that minds3t will keep you.so much more "happy" and "sane" because belief in the idea alone gives us what we strive for in life, to know our purpose and pursue it. I'm convinced I'm here to spread knowledge, laughter, conversation and truly give legitimate love outward to anyone, ANYONE I meet. Not one thing is anyone's identity. We assign identities to others unrifjtfully So in that the labels we give them inherently.come with judgement, which like I mentioned, is upnto.your unfiltered and more real subconscious and hyperconscious you that we call our soul or whatever to judge at our death. We are our harshest critics and no one is safe from their own judgement, so embrace your personality and find your duty in life and do it without a second thought, never expecting the good that may come or spring from your actions. So part of making a conscious decision to stay away from certain chemicals or needles doesn't mean I think they're not amazing or feel subjectively amazing. Altering my own conscious is a right everyone should have and it's insulting that a government and elite fucks would rather instill a stigma and hierarchy of INERT POWDECRYSTALS/PLANTS, that your body subjectively reacts to, manifesting it's own natural duty in it's effects on your body. You can learn something from coming down from almost any state of altered consciousness, including opiate induced nods which can kind of get a little psychedelic in it's own way more on like a deleriant sided trip, with complete internal.hallucnatory state's that resemble waking/lucid dreaming. The way your body reacts to any substance is something you LEARN from and knowledge of things too true to explain and working on getting rid of this notion in my head that id seem like a fanatic hippie to people if I openly expressed what I KNOW a lot of you feel about love and death and experiencing life and to me it's like a real tragedy that the epitome of what it's like to.be good for goods sake, to try to be like Christ (not Christian myself but find the bible and abrahamic religions very very fascinating, as it seems they have become the most distorted in their original core principles and values because of the decline of memory and the fact that the original scripture ended up being WRITTEN and not orally passed down, which would probably result in what is probably an entirely alien interpretation and butchering of the original stories and allegories and principles in the early and still prosisting sects of Judaism and Christianity. Language is a barrier on it's own in terms of communicating through speech, as it takes very precise analysis of your thoughts and which words you choose and when and how one word in the most perfect speech can entirely RUIN the intention, which is what I feel ultimately matters. Once we can skip the middleman and talk straight with private language, as it's known, words will have no meaning, you would be able to feel know without a doubt someone's intentions or how they are really trying to express themselves (why I think art is co-most important thing in life besides love/connection/unity), because when done right your intentions are felt like hot iron against the skin and the meaning can be interpreted all day, but the feelings and intention of any piece ultimately reflect the subjective world view of another person, which leads you to the most important (or one of em) human traits, empathy. Having empathy can be seen as a curse but it's a great heavenly gift that we are able to GRASP the life experience of another individual and really, really understansnwhere someone comes from. I got this idea of your family and how some of the strongest art has some from people trying to live in the shoes of someone who raised them or loved them..jodorowsky in the dance of reality/endless poetry shows this concept almost too well. He has his son play his own father in the put-through-a-spiritual-mans take on his.own life and family, and what comes across is a passion and scenes/art that transcend the genre or even medium into a full on look at human psyche. Honey Boy was a great film that uses that idea and imo captures the feeling of someone really KNOWING someone to their soul and little quirks and why they are the way they are and in movies or art like that, it's almost the most human thing you can watch and has a genuine feel/vibe about it that is hard to articulate. Anyways, Yeah, Tl;Dr boils down to obvoous statements that everything matters and is existing perfectly, or it would cease. Empathy is almost as important if not as important as love in tje physical human plane. Art transcends language and is the most wonderful endeavor to see from any person who does it for sake of expression and not another tool in capitalism and nationalism. Or do pieces that illustrate exactly that, the core tenets of capitalism, made into art and sold and as the ironic transaction takes place you draw the eyes on the people who you can tell think they can "win" the American dream from a set of rules. There are no real rules. Having U.S. cash currency technically places you in debt to the central bank, as they own it all and can call in their debt with interest at any second. So, in all technicalities whoever has the most American currency when shit get a awry and the tycoons in charge want their useless.paper money that isn't even exchangable for it's immediate value in gold anymore, as the USA stole all it's citizens gold, ya know, for their own good. And now no one can go see It or know it even is still there. Our money is based on a heavy plate of denial that it's literally devoid of real value, we just collectively decide that it's in charge and is the end all be all of what drives this and many other countries into a.country full of mental health issues and widespread dispair. Like, technically the richest man in terms of who has the most us dollars is actually technically the most in debt. Our economocnstructure is a ticking time bomb just waiting to fold in on itself and collapse over the sheer amount of sense it doesn't make and the insane lies it's all built around. Money is a tool used by the wicked and a necessity for the hungry that have fallen into the trap the wicked have paid to install in the structure of this country. After all, the US was built on genocide, stealing land or claiming it at all. Whoever the first soldier to.gather a militia and start a conflict with another tribe and lay claim to land as a part of something you own in history was is responsible for the atrocity that is war profiteering today. War isn't necessary today by any means, but we make itnao because the economy is more important to the highest powers in charge than human life. Capitalism teaches people to view other people as investments and that mentality sickens me.and makes me sad as all hell when I see it, especially from someone i love. Like I love my mom to death and she's a nondenomimation church going Christian and I've always respected her faith and actually admire it, because what she's done and the situations she's pulled her children out of make me see her as so so blessed and watched over by something, because she's been the source of what i consider real miracles she saved my brothers life when he was OD ing once and just cause she had the urge to go upstairanand check on him randomly in the middle of the night, even saying at first she just peaked her head in but then got weird feeling and went back in and got paramedics to the house literally as he stopped.breathing. I saw my little brother dead for over a minute before they resucitated him and hit him with multiple narcan shoots. They told her if she hadn't called when she did he would have been for sure dead. She had some sense of the off at the most important of times. And her undying love for setting her children's safety first is insanely genuine and so heartfelt that you just feel the spiritual shield she was given and what brings me back to.the tragic point is she's got some.pretty evident signs of OCD or at least OCD like behaviors and actions that manifest in her always cleaning the house constantly and constamtly rearranging rooms now and I just remember one day in my room I dropped a drink on my foot and it spilled on the wood floor and put a towel.on it to finish the drying, and she flips.when she comes in, talking really fast to herself.and kind of directed at me that leaving a towel covering the wet spot or spill will damage the floors and then started going.off on what that would do to the value of our home and I had hurt my foot dropping the drink and it was evident she didn't even notice or.ask if I was ok. And like I was realizing how much of her like stability in life is leaning on the debate over our home. Having more value in it than it did and that it stays worth the MONEY. Like I felt like if that one stain got someone to.convince her our home wasn't worth anything anymore she would have broken down and tonsee the grips and depth money sinks into and grabs a hold of people with, it's sad to see a devoted Chrsitian who actually tries to interpret the bible.persomally, learning spiritual.lessons on your own, as i believe you should, at the very least try to do if it's a book your gonna base your entire faith on. And like seeing the hypocrisy of a strong Christian so encompassed in materialism and the opposite of what the takeaway of the messages it's supposed to be. Like Jesus was a.mysterious dude who thought poor people and the weak, people strong in internal spirit, were the richest of all and we completely fucked up the kingdom of heaven that earth is at its heart by bastardizing the stories told of him and persuading people, so well i might add, that you can basically buy your way to heaven. The church was like a fucking monument of.jeresy to Jesus.. spiritual places were reaping profits and capitalizing on the moral compass of masses, fitting their ideals to their constructed narrative of christ, for who all we know is a mushroom in a series of rites and rituals coded in the bible and resulted in a basic.giant misunderstanding when written the fuck down by people who weren't there or heard about events secondhand. The origomal.sect of (Christian?) Essenes had strong esoteric knowledge of the working of the entire cosmos and believed you could attain a state of spiritual "nirvana" or "enlightenment" that would let you free yourself from your bodily prison and become a.ligjtbody, a luminous being. A star shining in the worls.to keep the light there. Surely though, it seems.noble pursuits are stomped down through history repeatedly by tyranny of foolish, material oriented imperialists conquerors fascists and dictators. Any "leader" in this free world happens to usually personify the exact opposite of qualities you want in one, if one was even necessary, mayne someone to guide, but not let.themseves wear the identity of a modern leader. It takes being a megalomaniac narcissist to have the idea pop into your head at all that you, a human no.better than the rest, could successfully think through the worlds problems and fix them. The idea is rotten. The world needs to behave like what it actually is, a species of human that share the same big questions at the end of the day as most. Why are we here? Who putnus here? Were we always here? How much of history is based on guesses and second or third.hand accounts. In this life, the most important objectives in life imo are to keep seeking answers to "why am I here" and the minute you can start figuring it out or know the answer innately, your path in life is set, you just gotta walk it and things will unfold in a quite magical journey of life. From being too young to walk around, talk, understand language and live in your.own head of imagination, the circle completes as old age creeps in and the same symptoms begin to resurface. You start to forget your loved ones alive, but instead see the ones you thought had passed all around you in the faces you mistake in your own family. All that you've really got left is feeling, emotion and going back to that magic world of imagination, except that when you reach the end of the circle, the child's imagination takes over, but with the full range of new things your soul learned in this life. You die and I can't say for sure that NO.ONE knows what actually happens when you die, but even if you don't believe in God or.an afterlife where you keep your ego, that science, which is imo a lot of the time just as magical as the idea of magic, has basically proven that your life force can never die.. The law of conservation and destruction of energy completely cements the idea that thoughts live.on without the body, as there is still no consensus to where consciousness originates or even what it REALLY is, it's fact that thoughts and your inner monologue is a constant energy field, interpreting data with it's quantum meat body. So therefore, that energy will always exist. It's perfectly reasonable to believe you're just reliving one big memory where you get amnesia every time your born, but still get the sense and intuition on when a decision you're making is.important or different than ones you've made in the past. Since everything is happening at the same time, all at once, in one moment, and that time is the illusion that animates our world. Most can only handle living one life conscioualy at a time, experiencing right now, when you've already lived as every other human being that exists. It's a constant lottery of where your luck puts you in the magnificent, dualism filled painting of a universe that's already dead.
We are remnants of morjingness and the essence of being.
You die the moment you come.into this world, it just takes a life for a lot to realize how perfect of a circle we've been lucky enough to have been placed in as this is all the result ofnsome power above or below or left or right who created it, it doesn't matter how or why, that's not important. What's important is rembering and practicinf being your own hero, embodying the ideals you give out freely and doing your dharmic duty with complete sincerely and love for your existence and being. The people who start young believing existinf is a curse and not knowing all the unknowns is like desolate and more "proof" that "god is dead" are the people who seem to have some of.the most profound revelations upon coming to understand god, God, the LORD, whatever the fuck you wanna call "it" (gods.not a person in my world, turning him.into one helped greatly dilute truths that are more profound and meaningful than a mere (kind of the wrong word, out brains are amazing technology and insanely interesting, as our whole reality actually takes place inside of it) human mind could comprehend (says a lot about the intellegence and omnipotence of a power considered godly) Omnipotence would overload the human brain cause its basically literally what dying is to us. We have to die (the ego at least) to know.what omnipotence FEELS like and, god, does it feel like the safest place ever imagined and full of warmth and love, if you let go. I'd imagine concepts.of heaven and hell originate from the process of near death experiences and the way your.death.and the way it feels will impact.your transition (which will either be heaven or.hell, as youll.be in a place.where time stops/is non existent and you end up.stuck in the following dmt trip that floods your brain, leaving you stuck for what deels.lile.eternity, because it tech is, but you can be punished for eternity then live a good life when you pass through the bardos to your next life, making the concept of heaven and hell reduced to the idea of a heavenly.and euphoric death trip or a misery filled one called hell if you fucking happen to die in a shitty state of mind or while feeling insecure or unsure about how you've been living or lived. And this little judgement state is what gives.meaning to having a moral compass you're confident in and doing good things in life. You.may live again.and again, with no real memory of past or simultaneous lives, but that judgement feels like eternity and is. It's just that another version of it/piece of it/perfectly alike version gets reborn on the other side every time, giving you a chance to live a life where you feel you've done right, getting to a point of always dying happy, a moment of bliss that with practice through lives, can stretch over and mend any eternities of suffering, as the revelation to shine light on any darkness and to be able.to.find the humor or good in anything and any person you've lived as as you feel true unity. There is no you anymore, everyone who ever was, will be and is is you and the better you get to yourself, the better the world around us gets. If the ultimate goal is salvation and true enlightenment through the conceptualization of nothing meaning everything to everything being nothing and GRASP true duality. That everything is one and the strongest thing is love. Even hate is, in my eyes, such a compassionate form of love. If you have the time to.take out of yoirbday to put into actively hating someone, it shows care beyond bounds for that person in ways you don't even understand, because that hate is rooted in beliefs that that person could have been a nicer or just more compatible soul and what should be a sad feeling is projected.as.one of the strongest emotions and strongest version of what we deem to be love. If you didnt have an inherent subconscious love towards individual hate is being projected on, for what reason do you have to go out of your way to feel fucking anger of all things towards how a person turns out because it's all pretty predetermined by any path and the stimuli that accompany that path. That energy of such strong negative feeling is rooted in a deep deep love of/for humanity that some people don't realize they have, so it.comes boiling over as hate and anger, either cause subconsciously you are a loving person who knows there soul could have been given a better path and it's tragic to you that any person could end up in a position to be Hated and what that person was subjected to to make them that way. Always be ready to forgive, sincerely, and love, sincerely, anyone you meet and you're guaranteed to live at.the very least a.very spiritually rich life. And as hard as those two things can be sometimes, coming to understand and really practice those two things, it brings you fruit youd never thought could be so sweet. The feeling of sparking a quest for knowledge or truth in people,.and learning to.be open to others ideas of the working of the universe, just so you can see things through their lens and can trully relate to where they came from or some little snippet of life advicemrings truer than any bell you've ever heard in a goddamn church, no matter how big or small, you've had a meaningful existence. Because that change or.spark of knowledge you lit up, will baptize everyone around it in fire, as good old Christ says and your impact will be bigger than you ever dreamed. The biggest key is to not worry if things WILL BE ok or WERE great/awful, all that exists.at any moment in your head is now, everything else a soupy mashup of.memories and dreams, coexisting before they ever came into your head. Yet never physically ever existing. If the present tense is an illusion itself, all your memories have already been seen, lived, but not birthed yet all at once and anything you can imagine will and has happened (just not now, but it existed somewhere else before it entered your head, so it must also either exist beyond thought, in a collection of atoms somewhere waiting fornthe right entanglement.) Nothing matters, because it all matters as such that beauty chaos violence and coded script are all the same. There's different sides to everything, but it's all the same.shape objectively, without your ego making it an object of fantasy, becauase life is exactly that, a weird beautiful violent chaotic mean nasty kind and loving fantasy.
Tl;Dr foreal: rant about how everything is perspective, to put it in basic ass simple terms that undermine the words in very carefuly and articulately tried to pick to be concise in a note of message that never truly ends because this.conversation will plague and feed us til we die.and truly live, I pride on this fully descriptive depiction in the form of an essay I basically speed wrote