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Artist: Run The Jewels
Album: RTJ4
Date Released: June 3rd, 2020
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Artist Background
The duo consisting of Atlanta rapper Killer Mike, and legendary underground produceMC El-P, known together as Run The Jewels, originally came together as a result of Adult Swim executive Jason DeMarco who introduced the two in 2011. After his 2011 album PL3DGE peaked at #115 on the US charts, Killer Mike told Jason that he wanted to make his own AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted. Jason informed Mike, “If you want AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted modernized, the only producer I know who comes close to the Bomb Squad-level of production is El-P”. The duo’s chemistry was immediate, as El-P went on to produce all of Killer Mike’s 2012 last solo album R.A.P. Music, and Mike featured on El-P’s final solo album Cancer 4 Cure. Mike and El’s respective albums released within a week of each other in May 2012, and the two embarked on a twenty-city US tour in the following months. After returning from tour, the pair had found a friendship growing between themselves, and made the decision to put other projects on hold and focus on the chemistry that had been sparked. Recording at an upstate NY studio beginning in April 2013, the duo re-appropriated the phrase “Run The Jewels” from the LL Cool J track “Cheesy Rat Blues", and released their self-titled collaborative album, for free via digital download, only a mere 2 months later in June 2013.
36” Chain vs. Pistol & Fist
Run The Jewels discography currently exists in a distinct pairing. With Run The Jewels as their debut, this record set the group's tone as a light-hearted, braggadocious duo with as much confidence in their abilities as swag in their punchlines. Just over a year later, the sequel Run The Jewels 2 took the foundation set from their freshman effort and dialed the insanity up to 11. RTJ2 pushed the boundaries of their aggression and flows to new heights; with incredible energy in their verses, and absolutely impeccable beats, blending El-P’s signature industrial sound with sharp synth arpeggios, chopped Zach De La Rocha vocals, and absolutely bonkers Travis Barker drums.
It was then nearly 3 years before Jamie and Mike followed up their breakout RTJ2, with Run The Jewels 3 being released again ahead of its scheduled release date via free digital download, this time on Christmas Eve 2016. Instead of these two attempting to outdo the pure insanity and in-your-face attitude found in their predecessor, Mike and El decide to evolve themselves as a group. The duo had noticeably pulled back on the swag and dick jokes which made such a splash on RTJ2, instead choosing a more subdued, electronic approach to their beats, as well as a clearly stronger political approach in their lyrics. This change in sound and style is demonstrated in the album cover’s artwork. The first two records featured the distinctive RTJ “Pistol and Fist”, with the fist tightly gripping a chain. The chain, in my opinion, represents the swag and braggadocio that drove the aggressive nature of their first two albums. In RTJ3 the chain is removed, leaving only hands that have transformed from bleeding and bandaged, to a pristine gold.
This brings us to early 2020. It’s been nearly 4 years of living in a post-Trump America, and El-P announces that Run The Jewels fourth record has been completed. Mike and El live-stream the first single “yankee and the brave” on Instagram on March 22nd, 2020. Lyrically and sonically, RTJ4 exists as the successor to Run The Jewels 3, with Mike and El again taking the good from their previous effort and launching it into the creative stratosphere. El-P’s beats are again leaning towards the synthetic, electronic side, this time with the intensity dialed all the way up to 11. From a lyrical perspective, RTJ takes the politically-charged lyrics from their predecessor, and again, up the ante, laying down some of the hardest hitting and politically poignant bars either of these two have ever spit.
Album Review
2020 was a year that none of us will soon forget. An unprecedented global health crisis kept the majority of us inside for months at a time. RTJ4 was announced on May 12th, 2020, with a release date slated for June 5th, 2020. However, with 2020 as the gift that won’t stop giving, the end of May was highlighted by the unjust killing of George Floyd. The phrase heard around the world, “I can’t breathe” instantly became a rally-cry for the oppressed to finally take to the streets to demand systemic police reform, as Floyd’s death was not the first time this phrase was uttered in an unjust police killing. In fact, a 2020 study by the New York Times showed that at least 70 people have died in police custody after using the same phrase over the past decade. As millions of American’s began organizing protests and demonstrations in the wake of Floyd’s death, Run The Jewels made the decision to release their latest chapter two days ahead of the scheduled release. El-P tweeted, just minutes ahead of the drop, “Fuck it, why wait. The world is infested with bullshit, so here’s something raw to listen to while you deal with it all. We hope it brings you some joy. Stay safe and hopeful out there and thank you for giving 2 friends the chance to be heard and do what they love”. In line with all past Run The Jewels releases, the album was made available for free digital download, two days ahead of its scheduled release date, on June 3rd, 2020.
THE RETURN (we don’t mean no harm but we truly mean all the disrespect)
RTJ4 opens with the first single, “yankee and the brave (ep. 4)”. Using the team names from their respective hometown baseball teams, Mike and El use the opening track to prove that they’re not just a hip-hop duo, they’re brothers, for better or worse. El-P kicks this installment off with rapid-fire, machine-gun esque snares, matching Killer Mike’s aggressive flow and tightly packed rhymes, before El jumps in to trade some dense rhymes as well. Mike and El depict themselves as outlaws, with Mike surrounded by cops with only one bullet remaining. He contemplates suicide instead of allowing the police to take him alive, until El-P jumps back in, offering Mike a way out, with a getaway car waiting outside. This tense situation is depicted lightheartedly in this song’s music video, which was released via Adult Swim and features the duo animated.
The trade-off between Mike and El’s short verses are reminiscent of late-80’s EPMD flows, while the production sounds like boom-bap that’s been sent to us from the future. This distinctive blend of old-school rap roots and forward thinking production is what continues to separate Run The Jewels from absolutely all of their contemporaries. While so many artists are continually playing catch-up with the latest trends, RTJ are side-stepping the trendy and moving forward with the mind-bending.
FLEXIN’ (ayo one for mayhem, two for mischief)
The second single “ooh la la” samples a Gang Star track "DWYCK (feat. Nice & Smooth)" as the basis for the chorus. I say “samples” as that’s how it is credited in the album’s liner notes, however it’s truly an interpolation of Greg Nice’s bar, slowed down slightly, and sung by El-P and Greg Nice himself. El-P is a true old-head at heart, and it’s abundantly obvious in his work, even going as far as to recruit legendary producer DJ Premiere to handle the scratching on the back end of this banger.
Out of key piano chords are looped to quickly create an unsettling aura surrounding the track, before El-P’s voice cuts through the infectious piano like a whip. Pounding, up-tempo drums are introduced after the chorus’ first iteration, creating what is possibly El-P’s first danceable beat. Lyrically, Mike and El-P initially seem scattered on this track, however the music video quickly makes their point very obvious.

”we imagined the world on the day that the age old struggle of class was finally over. a day that humanity, empathy and community were victorious over the forces that would separate us based on arbitrary systems created by man.
this video is a fantasy of waking up on a day that there is no monetary system, no dividing line, no false construct to tell our fellow man that they are less or more than anyone else. not that people are without but that the whole meaning of money has vanished. that we have somehow solved our self created caste system and can now start fresh with love, hope and celebration. its a dream of humanity’s V-DAY… and the party we know would pop off.”

The video envisions a society celebrating the fact that the class system we currently exist within has finally imploded. Money is worthless, and we have rejected the desire to bind ourselves to the constraints of capitalism. All creeds and colors unite to burn the system that has so effectively controlled us for over a century. It’s a party, and if there was a song to celebrate the end of the world as it is currently known, “ooh la la” is that song.
Mike’s last verse features a few metaphors and comparisons celebrating the destruction of capitalism, saving the most poignant for last:

I used to love Bruce, but livin' my vida loca
Helped me understand I'm probably more of a Joker
When we usher in chaos, just know that we did it smiling
Cannibals on this island, inmates run the asylum

Premo’s expertly cut scratches lead us into the equally hard hitting sample flip of “Misdemeanor”, by Foster Stevens as the basis for the beat to “out of sight”. Lending yet another nod to the old-school greats that laid the foundation for RTJ, “out of sight” samples the same track as The D.O.C.’s “It’s Funky Enough”, only adding a bouncy, electronic synth atop the inverted chord hits, and uptempo, industrial drums, to create an absolutely infectious groove for Mike and El’s dynamic chemistry to shine, rapidly jumping between each other’s two line flows in the first verse.
“out of sight” shows each MC providing insight into how each of them earned a living and achieved their current status. Mike and El’s opening verse each details themselves robbing people in order to eat. El alludes to the fact that he crossed his accomplices in crime for the whole bag, while Mike details the fact his assailant tells him it’s an “honor” to be robbed by his mother’s only son.
While El-P’s production is the obvious stand out on first listen, Killer Mike comes through with one of the most sonically pleasing and technically proficient verses of 2020.

We the motivating, devastating, captivating
Ghost and Rae relating product of the fuckin' '80s
Coke dealin' babies, never regulating, bag accumulating
It would not be overstating to say they are underrating
The pride of Brooklyn and the Grady, baby
We don't need no compliments or confidence
Our attitude and latitude is "fuck you, pay me"

The dense, intricate rhyme schemes smack you in the face, almost distracting you from Mike’s delivery and blistering flow on the verse; flexing his legendary status while paying homage to his drug-dealing past. This absolutely stunning display of technical skill, story telling, and complex rhyming illustrates how RTJ seamlessly integrates the best of both old school and new school hip-hop.
“out of sight” also features a guest verse from 2 Chainz, and he continues to lay the braggadocio on thick. Considering Tity Boi’s dedication to trap stylings, his verse feels right at home on the flex track, despite it’s late 80’s tribute sample, a considerable departure from his usual sound palette.
Up until this point, I haven’t mentioned any of the El-P’s lyrics specifically. El-P is a great rapper, but Killer Mike… Well, Killer Mike is an incredible rapper. He’s the guy who draws you in. El-P is the one who lays the foundation for greatness and Mike is the show stopper, and that’s generally the case for most RTJ tracks. But on “holy calamafuck”, El-P seems determined to make people stop and ask, “Who the fuck is this?!”.
A sharp, yet nearly minimalistic drum kit backing a heavily distorted synthesizer melody lays beneath rhymically knocking cow-bells. This aggressively set stage allows Mike and El to flex as the dynamic duo they are, until the beat suddenly takes a turn for the chaotic. A gnarled, ultra-menacing synth overtakes everything while Mike screams into the abyss, until a distorted snare, enormous 808s, and skeletal hi-hats cut through and launch the beat switch into another dimension. The minimal, yet incredibly dark soundscape allows El-P to snap in a way I have never heard from him previously. His rhymes schemes are reminiscent of an old MF DOOM lyric notebook, while his topics flawlessly combine flexing, psychedelic use, and his well-cemented legacy in the hip-hop community. Cutting and pasting a few of his bars into this review could not convey a fraction of how stunning El-P’s performance on “holy calamafuck” is.
Slightly later in the track list, making liberal use of the Ether song “Gang of Four”, “the ground below” samples and loops the sharp guitar riff and adds aggressive, pounding drums as the basis for the beat; this is finally reminiscent of the forward-thinking, stridulous production El-P has built his reputation on. Capitalising on the classic RTJ moment, Mike and El both flex in their own unique ways. Mike compares himself to Godzilla taking on Tokyo, and El-P demands respect for his name as the legend he is, threatening to smack dying children for mispronouncing his name with his middle finger to the world; his complete disregard for human life and confidence in his abilities are summed up at the end of his verse.

You see a future where Run the Jewels ain’t the shit
Cancel my Hitler-killing trip
Turn the time machine back around a century

SO¢IAL JU$T-ICE (until my voice go from a shriek to whisper...)
While the first few tracks aren’t without their social and political themes, the back-end of RTJ4 is where Mike and El start to bust out the heavy topics. “goonies vs. E.T.”. starts off light, with El-P pointing to the irony of how once he finally started to make it “big” in the industry, the world began to descend into chaos due to climate changes, increasingly obvious social injustice, and political madness. He culminates his frustration with our disregard for the Earth with a fantastic quotable.

Fuck y’all got, another planet on stash?
Far from the fact of the flames and our trash
That is not snow, it is ash, and you gotta know
The past got a wrath, it’s a lover gone mad

Mike’s verse takes the light-hearted frustration expressed by El-P, and turns the aggression to the next level. Aiming his sights against the ruling class and their society that’s been designed to oppress people for profit, who have very meticulously painted themselves as celebrities and idols to the American public. Mike accepts that he will be villainized by these people for speaking against them, but he welcomes the nefarious role, knowing that the working class will eventually eat the rich, no matter how much they are stomped into the dirt.
And this is just the warmup.
If it’s possible for a song to represent a moment in time that captures the absolute shit storm that has been 2020, “walking in the snow” is that song. It’s release coincided perfectly with the protests for George Floyd which were sweeping the nation. Killer Mike’s verse directly references the phrase “I can’t breathe”, the last words of Eric Garner, which also happened to be the last words of Floyd as well. The fact that this verse was reportedly written in November 2019 perpetually underscores the importance of the content and perfectly represents how persistent this problem is. “walking in the snow” is a true encapsulation of both a defining moment in time and an ever-persisting issue.
But he doesn’t just stop at the racial injustice. Mike goes on an absolute rant about the American education system; how it’s not designed to teach people, but to discriminate against poor populations, limiting their legitimate opportunities, and therefore disproportionately leading them into a criminal lifestyle. He calls out the media as fear-mongers, and the apathy of the American public in the face of indecency. Fortunately for Mike, by the time we finally had the chance to hear this masterpiece, we were already on our feet, using this album as a war cry to mobilize against a tyrannical government that militarized against its own citizens simply for asking that we recognize systemic racism and demanding change. Killer Mike has the best verse of the year, no doubt in my mind.
The only drawback is that Mike’s verse is so fucking good that it completely overshadows El-P’s, which is also amazing. A menacing guitar riff and haunting synths kick the track off into a bouncy groove, where El-P unleashes a flurry of internal rhymes that does not relent for about half his verse. Even adding layers of social commentary within the densely packed bars, El refuses to quit and continues on his political tirade; criticizing ICE’s detainment center practices and the “pseudo-Christians” who support them, with a bar that now lives in my head:

Pseudo-Christians, y’all indifferent, kids in prison ain’t a sin? Shit
if even one scrap of what Jesus taught connected you’d feel different
what a disingenuous way to piss away existence, I don’t get it
I’d say you lost your goddamn minds if y’all possessed one to begin with

The combination of two of the best verses spit by any rapper(s) this year and production help from El-P and long time RTJ collaborator Little Shalimar, create a bouncy, aggressive, deeply truthful banger. “walking in the snow” not only encapsulates the crux of 2020 with lyrics that will become more powerful as they age, but will also forever be associated with the Black Lives Matter movement and the determination to expose continuing racial and societal injustices.
The sonic palette of RTJ4 holds an extremely unique place in El-P’s discography. Jamie is the definition of a self-made 90’s hip-hop legend. This is the dude who put New York underground hip-hop on the map with Company Flow, and he did it with his unique flavor of dark, noisy, dense, boom-bap. Whether he was doing it with the help of Rawkus, or completely independently during his Definitive Jux run, El-P has never made music with the intention of becoming famous. Funcrusher Plus, Fantastic Damage,I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead, and Cancer 4 Cure are all highly revered as industrial, technical, abrasive, and completely unsuitable for the radio or a party. The fact that three songs on RTJ4 could easily be heard on the radio, at a party, or in a TV series credits scene is frankly, astounding. In a 2002 interview/documentary on El-P’s budding record label Def Jux, he stated that his friend bet him $500 that he could not make a beat that was “happy”. At the time of the interview, El-P said that he had not won that bet yet. While I might not qualify the beats on RTJ4 as “happy”, if you showed El-P the beat for “JU$T” in 2002, I believe he might have won that bet.
Pharell opens “JU$T” with the pre-chorus, spitting varied examples of how we’re all slaves to our current system throughout the track, over echoing snares and bouncy 808s before bright synth chords and up-tempo hi-hats burst in while Killer Mike delivers the chorus, pointing to the fact that the majority of the people featured on American currency owned slaves at one point in their lives. Mike’s verse touches on the fact that he has committed crimes to get where they are today. Mike is publicly open about his past as a drug dealer. So why is he a criminal, but Benjamin Franklin isn’t? These are the people who built our country, and they built it on the backs of slaves. He illustrates this theme with a more recent examples:

You believe corporations runnin marijuana? Ooh (how that happen?)
and your country gettin ran by a casino owner (ooh)
pedophiles sponsor all these fuckin’ racist bastards (they do)

When corporations are able to sell cannabis legally, but the government continually incarcerates people who trap, our president is a notoriously fraudulent businessman, and the people who helped put him in power run a pedophile ring, yet none of them face consequences and are allowed to continue to profit and remain in power while people suffer; well, we might be closer to slaves than previously imagined.
Rage Against The Machine frontman Zach de la Rocha also makes his mandatory feature appearance at the end of “JU$T”. As the only artist to feature on three Run The Jewels albums, Zach is essentially an unofficial member of the group at this point. His fiery verse is spit with the same “Rage” energy that set him apart in the mid-90’s, ending the track questioning his place in a capitalist society as a recipe for his inevitable demise, since his “breath”, or art, as his weapon to express himself is still being exploited for other’s profit.
Continuing with RTJ4’s heavily synthetic sonic palette, “never look back” features wavering synth leads resting above the slow-jams snappy snares and thumping bass, while a haunting voice echoes in the background. This unsettling aura provides additional gravity for Jamie and Mike to continue self-reflecting on defining moments in their childhood, and as well as how far they’ve come from those moments. Mike and El are both self-made men, and while they have a certain fondness for those gritty moments that defined them, moving forward in life is undoubtedly more important.
Skeletal drums reminiscent of a slowly pounding heart opens “pulling the pin”, before rhythmic hi-hats and textured, watery synths fluttering in the upper register resting above a bouncy synth lead, and punchy 808s, burst in. The track digs itself into a slower, marching groove and shows the duo figuratively doing exactly what the title implies. Painting a portrait of a society that has turned on itself, Mike and El are ready to pull the pin and start over.
The duo both detail their despise for the ruling class, pointing out multiple examples of how the elite have designed our society to keep poor people in their class. Simultaneously recognizing their own hypocrisy for profiting in a system that inherently discriminates; Mike reflects on his own success, knowing that living the lifestyle he enjoys is one built on oppression, and expresses the guilt that has caused him. El-P opens with a brutal metaphor for police, implying that they’re the root cause of the “wretched state of danger” our society exists within, and that the only effective corrective action is to numb yourself with drugs. Despite his advice, Jamie knows this is not a permanent solution, but one that causes more self-inflicted wounds.
The final piece of the puzzle that is RTJ4, “a few words for the firing squad” begins to close the album with ever crescending strings, and loud, thunderous drums which never seem to resolve, continuing throughout their verses. While the drums that lead to nowhere can be sonically unpleasant, the unresolved melodies are intentionally representative of their current mindsets. Their verses are reflective and grim, but simultaneously optimistic and envisions a world where tragedy is a less common occurrence.
El is grateful for what he has now but recognizes his entire life has been skewed by traumas, so out of place feels normal for him. He reflects on his current success, noting that the worst people tend to end up with the most, which makes becoming “rich” something not as desirable as it once was.
Mike opens up about the death of his mother who died while he was on an airplane, admitting his struggles to not cope with his trauma with opioids. However, his wife provides him the most important reason to stay clean “but my queen/say she need a king/not another junkie rapper fiend” while a heartbreaking saxophone solo highlights the gravity of his lyrics.
The track ends with what sounds the like wrap-up voiceover to a TV show, a conceptually satisfying ending, as the opening track “yankee and brave (ep.4)” began with El-P stating:

”This week, on Yankee and The Brave”

This voiceover paints the duo as brothers on the run from the law and crooked cops, and while this does close this “episode” out as intended, the critic in me is bothered by the slightly kitschy outro to such a spectacular album. The voices singing over and over, “Brave, brave, braaaaaave, Yankee and the Brave” would be, simply put, better left on the cutting room floor. The ending of this track alone is what knocks my score of this album down a few points. Despite its stellar lyrical content, with drums that never seem to reach that “holy shit!” moment, and the easily skippable outro, it’s upsetting to me that an album this great ends on such a low note.
Overview
RTJ4 is by far my favorite album of the year. El-P’s cutting edge approach to their sound, blended with lyrical content that continues to be more relevant by the day, the duo have come together with what is objectively their most accessible album to date. RTJ4 is the natural evolution of sound and subject matter for the duo; taking the foundation set by Run The Jewels 3 and evolving it into a more concise, more accessible, and more conceptual album. While I still personally prefer the “fuck the world” intensity and experimental nature of Run The Jewels 2, RTJ4 opens themselves up to a whole new world of exposure, and when you’re as talented as these two, you know they’re going to capitalize on it. RTJ is currently at their apex, and they’ve created an album that will make many new life-long fans going forward.
9.2/10
Discussion Points

How does this compare to other RTJ releases? How about in comparison to the member’s solo works?
Does the overwhelmingly positive critical reception of this album surprise you?
How will this be looked back on in 5 years?
What are your favorite lyrics?

Unleashed pt. 52

First / Prev / Next

Alexa was sitting cross legged before Sassie, with Aiov lying casually on the German Shepherd’s back. She had a metal bowl in her lap with chunks of fresh meat for Aiov and cooked meat for her large canine protector. It had been a difficult time as the dog had missed Aaron more and more, to the point that she had begun to refuse food. Aiov's enthusiasm, however, seemed to help slightly in countering that refusal, and Alexa had found that feeding them together at least got some food into the lonely Earth ambassador.
She scratched at the dog’s head as Aiov happily chomped on another scrap of meat. “Look at that! You won’t be outdone by a leokit now, will you?” She placed a cube of seared meat before Sassie’s nose. She sniffed it twice before eating. “You’re going to be so spoiled by the time we get him back. We’ll both get in trouble.”
Aiov snuggled into the thick black and tan fur, using her paw to guide the next morsel into her mouth. Sassie managed a few more pieces before turning her head away with a grunt. Satisfied with what she had achieved Alexa gave a few more scraps to Aiov before placing the bowl into the recycler. The loudspeakers throughout the Rinoxian vessel blared a loud message announcing they had now crossed into Hive space and that their readiness was being moved to level three.
Her door chimed. Opening it, she found Allistan in his new Terran Wolves uniform. “You need to come quickly, the Porkchop Express has arrived.”
As she grabbed Aaron's old leather jacket, Sassie immediately rose to follow which caused Aiov to roll to the floor. "You come," she spoke to the dog, then turned to the distinctly unhappy leokit who had just lost her warm pillow. "You stay, sorry.”
They walked briskly through the corridors of the Rinoxian warship towards a secure meeting room which had two Terran Wolves outside the door. Their black uniforms and red collars were easily identifiable and they gave sharp salutes as Alexa approached. “I told you not to salute.”
The two guards lowered their hands sheepishly as the doors opened. Sassie immediately surged past Alexa to happily greet the returning crew members. She moved from Ranjaz to Jaym, receiving many scratches and hugs. Even Eruwenn and Cygna received a quick examination, but she soon stopped when no sign of Aaron could be found. The German Shepherd forlornly returned to Alexa's side as the Awakened took a seat at the meeting table. “Is the room secure?”
Cygna, now in a smart black uniform with white collar, stood. “We have taken additional precautions due to the sensitive information we will be discussing.”
Tilting her head, Alexa took in the Fae’Dan’s new clothing. “You’re one of us now?”
Eruwenn gave a slight chuckle. Aside from Alexa, she was the only one not in uniform. “She lost a game of dalcho, or two.”
“Seven.” Ranjaz said with a wicked grin. “Don’t worry, she’s actually been a fairly competent assistant. Aside from her gambling issues, obviously.”
Her head drooping to look at her feet, Cygna replied, “I swear by Tulseria’s right hand, I will get you back for this!”
The Kittran’s grin grew more predatory. “Wanna bet?”
There was a long table by the wall where Embar was fixing himself a drink, He turned, shaking his head. “I’m not sure I approve of your recruiting techniques.”
The Kittran shrugged. “She’s worth it – even broke the code on this.” He tossed the recovered device onto the table as Embar returned and took his seat opposite him. “And, you’re going to want a stronger drink, General.”
Curiosity piqued, Allistan took his seat, preparing his notepad and pen. “What did you find?”
Ranjaz was about to speak when Eruwenn held up her hand. “I think we should let General Embar read this first. He can take a moment before we all continue.”
Raising an eyebrow, Embar sat down in a nearby chair and connected the device to a non-networked datapad. “Why me?” He began scrolling through the files, tapping on icons and delving deeper. His breathing suddenly stopped, his face contorting. Disbelief morphed into anger, and as his body tensed, anger turned to white-hot rage. He placed the datapad down on the table before him and stood, walking back towards the drinks table. He lowered his head, his body radiating anger as his muscles clenched and unclenched, then raised his fist into the air and slammed it into the table. Bottles, glasses and everything else it had held went crashing to the ground as it buckled under force of his blow. “We’re going to kill every last one of those Sentinel bastards!”
No longer smiling, Ranjaz stood. “You’re Tulseria damned right we are.”
Jaym was sitting silently, but she pulled a rag from her pocket and dabbed at her tears. After they had fled from the casino she had tried to help crack the encryption on the stolen device. Part of her wished they never had, as its contents had disturbed her so much. Now that they had finally caught up with Alexa, Embar and the others who had been on the Rinoxian homeworld, she empathised deeply with the pain this information was bringing. “It’s so awful, I’m so sorry Embar.”
Eruwenn patted the young Arkellian on the shoulder to comfort her as she looked at the Rinoxian. “Please believe me, General Warbringer. The council knew nothing of this.”
Alexa picked up the datapad, using her nanites to more quickly access the information. She grit her teeth, biting back her anger, then passed it quickly to Allistan. “You need to read this. Then we need to plan our next move.” She looked at the back of the unmoving Rinoxian. “Embar?”
Embar slowly turned around, his jaw set, determination in his eyes. “We keep this quiet. We’re on an active mission and need everyone focused on the job at hand.”
Allistan went to click his pen as he read, but with a gasp the pen fell from his fingers. “We can’t keep quiet, the galaxy needs to see this.”
The Rinoxian nodded. “They will. When the time is right.”

It had been two cycles and the incursion fleet had advanced deep into Hive space. Over half of the force accompanying them were the Rinoxians under their new Galactic Federation commanders. There were over a dozen Galactic Federation ships along with six Gowe destroyers, and a dozen ships from other races including the Niham and Kah’Ree. Admiral Pelar, on board the Blazing Dawn, commanded four Ashi ships including the Righteous Fury.
The smallest craft by far was the Porkchop Express, a speck amongst titans. Its white painted hull, chrome bull bars and bright cartoon logo were a stark contrast to the military ships it accompanied. Sassie was more comfortable now that she was in familiar territory, and slept on a pile of Aaron’s clothes in his quarters.
Allistan and Alexa were sitting opposite Jar’Bek in his small office. The Ashi looked exhausted as he finally put down his datapad. “I’m sorry to have kept you.”
Allistan fidgeted in his seat. “Not at all, was that your mother again?”
Stiffening slightly at the use of the word mother the lawyer forced himself to relax again. “Admiral Pelar has informed us that they have been repeatedly scanned by the Gowe. She’s taking no action, as we’re supposed to be allies, but wanted you to be aware.” Alexa nodded and he continued. “When we arrive at the next system the commanders of each ship have been called to the Hooves of Destiny. Vice-Admiral Koo Ji has requested an in person meeting, with all senior officers.”
There were several pen clicks. “That seems unusual.”
Jar’Bek gave a knowing nod. “Extremely. To remove every ship’s command, behind enemy lines? It makes no sense.”
Alexa pushed her hair back from her face. “The Rinoxians agreed to it?”
The Ashi nodded. “Most of their command have been replaced. Anyway, they outnumber – and outgun – the other ships. Why would they be concerned?”
Allistan’s pen clicked. “They probably just put it down to Gal. Fed. protocols, or fear.”
Jar’Bek nodded. “They’ve had us stopping in random systems to scan. No doubt it’s to delay us, but perhaps also to lower the Rinoxian’s guard?”
Leaning back in her chair, the Awakened considered the options. “Maybe there's another fleet waiting to ambush us? Or following us?”
Allistan twirled his pen in his fingers. “No, no. All eyes are on the border since Aaron’s capture. It must be something else.”
Moving on to her next idea, Alexa asked, “Sabotage?”
The Ashi gave a chuckle. “That is Admiral Pelar’s conclusion. The Gal. Fed. officers have been on board the other ships, and the possibility exists that there are Sentinels working amongst them. They are all in command positions, and will all be leaving. It’s a logical conclusion.”
Allistan’s pen halted its spinning. “The Ashi ships, they can’t have been sabotaged, right?”
The lawyer nodded. “True, but, it wouldn’t matter. Their ships are old and have seen too much action. Those Gowe ships alone are more than they could handle.”
The Fae’Dan sighed and shook his head at the situation they were facing. “We should have brought more ships. The new ones.”
Alexa, staring at the ceiling, spoke softly. “No, we don’t need to show our hand just yet. But send word to Chae’Sol, make sure he has the coordinates.”
Jar’Bek nodded and made a note on his datapad. “What about the others?”
The Awakened closed her eyes. It was times like this she missed her human and his habit of taking charge. “Tell Embar to warn his contacts among the Rinoxians. The others… I have no idea, I just want to sleep.”
Allistan, a stickler for accuracy, replied, “I didn’t think Awakened slept?”
She sat up and gave a half-hearted smile. In an unusual moment of vulnerability, she replied, “I was told you can do anything in a dream. For those moments, we would all be together again.”
Allistan struggled to come up with a response to that, and the Ashi, having noticed this, stepped in to fill the gap in conversation. “We’ll find him. I can’t lose the most profitable client in the galaxy now, can I?”
Now past the moment of awkwardness, the Fae’Dan also answered. “I’m sure he’s fine. In fact, he’s probably already on his way back to us.”
Alexa gave Allistan a withering look. “You think he single-handedly defeated the Hive, stole a ship and managed to figure out how to fly it back here?”
The former Inspector paused to consider it. “No. It will most likely be something even more preposterous. Perhaps he married their Queen?”
The ridiculousness of the idea brought a chuckle to the Awakened. “Maybe. Hopefully nothing that drastic; he’d probably just turn their society upside down with some ridiculous scheme.”
Jar’Bek also smiled. “A little civil unrest, perhaps a few riots? No doubt with merchandise.”
Finally breaking into a broad grin, Alexa replied, “I think we all might be over-estimating him a little.”

Aaron stood in the trade area of Toivoa station with a contingent of Gardener Royal Guards behind him, Tsy’Lo by his side, and a very angry mob in front of him. Several well-dressed local leaders were dragged from the crowd to stand before him; Mycena, Tricinic, Procyon and a dozen other refugee races were crammed into the triple height area of the station.
One of the leaders staggered towards Aaron. “You! You caused this!”
Aaron, feigning as much innocence as possible, pointed to his chest. “Me?”
One of the Mycena he had met during his time on the station came forward. “We’ve all seen the videos! They kept us in the dark about what is going on out there! The Galactic Federation are coming! Our leaders lied to us!”
The accusatory leader, a Procyon with greying fur, pointed at Aaron. “Your... Your propaganda, has driven them mad! Your lies! They’re destroying the station!”
The human smiled and maintained his innocent expression. “My propaganda?” Several in the crowd held up datapads; Aaron’s smiling face was on every one. “Oh... that propaganda.”
Tsy’Lo tugged on his sleeve. “What did you do?!”
Aaron crouched down slightly. “Remember when I accidentally picked up the kids datapad and you returned it?”
“Yes…” The Tricinic flushed orange as realisation struck. “It wasn’t the child’s datapad!”
Aaron straightened up. “Yeah, thanks for helping bring down society.” He laughed as Tsy’Lo became a very opaque green hue. “Don’t worry, I’ve got an idea.”
The greying Procyon shook his fist at the human. “You better! They should throw you in a cage for the rest of your life for this. Hundreds of celes of peace, destroyed!”
Aaron looked down at the angry alien. “Your peace, not theirs.” He gestured back towards the Gardeners, and walked towards them without waiting for a reply. He raised his hands high, motioning for the unruly mob to settle down. “Alright, alright. Settle down, munchkins. So the wizard’s a liar? Welcome to reality. The Gardeners have been fighting and dying to keep you safe from the flying monkeys, while you all hide in your Emerald City and get on with your lives. That shit ends now. You’re crying out for change? Then welcome to the revolution, baby! We’re opening up the borders, we’re rejoining the rest of the galaxy! No more hiding!”
The crowd was already worked up, and cheering came easily despite the large lack of understanding. The human nodded — he was enjoying this far too much — and then gestured again for quiet. He spoke quietly at first, adding excitement to his voice as it built in power. “So prepare for a chance of a lifetime! Be prepared for sensational news!”
The Procyon official’s mouth opened and closed silently before he managed to shake his mind free of the initial shock of the human’s words. “No! Stop! What are you even saying?”
Aaron didn’t care about the official. He put the palm of his hand on their face, which easily dwarfed it in size, and gently pushed them slowly backwards. He then leapt up onto a crate; his showmanship on camera was nothing to his on-stage presence. “A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer, and where do you feature? Just listen to teacher! You’ve stagnated here for long enough. Lied to and kept in the dark, well, no more!”
The crowd was his, he knew it. The official knew it. Tsy’Lo knew it and was a nervous shade of blue. Aaron clambered from the crate to the roof of a stall, standing high above the crowd. The cheers followed every rambling sentence and, drunk on power, Aaron was loving it. “Spread the word to every planet, every station, every colony and every ship. Change is not coming, it’s here and it is now!”
The crowd roared again, and the desperate official turned to Tsy’Lo. “What in the nine moons is he talking about?”
“I’ll tell you what I’m talking about.” Aaron snapped. He stood looking out over the crowd. “I am the Ambassador of a world called Earth. I have taken ownership of a small star system that is being colonised as we speak. These colonies are a coalition of races, from within the Federation, as well as without. We rule ourselves, but have treaties and agreements with the Federation itself, as well as various individual races within it.”
Several questions were called out from the crowd, but one voice was louder than the others. “How does that help us?”
With a smile, the human walked back and forth across the roof of the stall as he spoke. “Good question my friend.” He pointed vaguely at where the voice had come from. “I do not have contact with my homeworld at this time. To ensure that all of whatever Earth has become would be included we put in place clauses for future territories, dominions, settlements etc, etc…” The crowd was quiet now, trying to follow the human’s explanation. Looking out at the blank faces Aaron realised he needed to get to the point. “Congratulations, you’re now a protectorate of Earth!”

He was met with utter silence.

Suddenly, there were several angry yells from the crowd, some claiming this was a joke while others were simply confused. The official was the one who dared clamber to the crate below Aaron in order to yell up to him. “Are you insane?”
Aaron’s smile made Tsy’Lo shudder, as it was the same one he had given as he had explained his idea to the Gardener Queen. The human stepped forward to stand at the front of the stall roof. “I declared war on the Gardeners. The war lasted seven Earth minutes, and was quickly resolved when the Queen surrendered to me in person.”
Silence fell once again, and Aaron found himself half-yearning for the sound of crickets to emphasize the moment.
The crowd erupted once more, outrage at the ridiculous claims the strange alien was spewing forth. Tsy’Lo released a deafeningly loud harmonic whistle which was followed by another momentary quiet. They paled as the crowd's attention fell on them. “You need to listen, all of you. He is speaking the truth, sort of. He held the Queen and the Gardeners council hostage with a bomb.” Small grey particles filled the Tricinic at the memory of being used as a weapon. The crowd began to grow rowdy at this news, causing Tsy’Lo to let off another sonic blast. “It is all a human trick; once we are part of his alliance we fall under the treaties he already has in place.”
The crowd looked back up to the human. “Like I said, congratulations. You just walked in through the backdoor of a peace treaty with the Galactic Federation, and over a dozen separate treaties with other races.”
The crowd were now arguing amongst themselves. The official - who Aaron was now mentally calling Gobshite - once again challenged him. “At what cost, though? What do you get out of this?”
The smile of mischief once more graced the human’s lips and Tsy’Lo considered pulling him down from his stage. They had been on their way to the border when news of the riots on Toivoa reached them. Aaron’s presence had been demanded and he had happily accepted. The human looked almost as gleeful as that moment of acceptance when he spoke again. “Me? I get to go home. I get friends with big sticks. I get to trade openly with you, and believe me, I have a lot of crap to sell you.” He chuckled. “You get to be part of the galaxy again. You get to travel and trade. Our rules are simple and fair; everyone is equal under the law. You have exactly the same rights as everyone else who joined us. And the cost?” He paused for effect, making sure they were all paying attention. “You stand on your own two feet.” He glanced around, noting the sheer diversity of the crowd. “Or one foot... or four... Or whatever it is you’re balancing on.”
The crowd was a buzz of conversation, and Gobshite once again chimed in. “You think they’ll let us back without a fight? We can expose them! Those bastards tried to exterminate us!”
The crowd jeered along with the old Procyon. Aaron held up his hands. “Woah, woah. Only some of them. That’s the thing, there are a lot more members now. So here’s the plan: shut up. If you don’t say anything, they sure as shit aren’t going to out themselves, are they? While everyone is staring at the former Hive terror that they all feared, you guys just start working and trading, nice and quiet.”
A few murmurs of agreement came from the crowd. Gobshite, however, was more than a murmur. “You want us to forget our ancestors suffering?”
A little irritated, Aaron was more harsh than he intended. “You’ve wallowed in it long enough. Look at you, hiding for generations, keeping your communications to a minimum to avoid detection. Is this all some master plan as you build an army to seek revenge? Fuck no!” He saw the shame on their faces. “You’re happy to leave this status quo to future generations? You want to remember the suffering of your ancestors, fine, build a fucking statue. But don’t hold back your children to do it.”
The crowd were growing louder again as they discussed his words. “Look!” the human yelled. “I’m not saying you forget, or forgive. I’m saying you keep your mouths shut. We won’t announce your presence to the Federation. Instead, I want those of you looking to start something new to come join the new colonies. No big fanfares, just get on with it. In a place filled with different races, you’ll just be another stranger.”
He saw the crowd looking at each other, and knew was a lot to take in all at once. “We gather evidence, build trust. Get yourselves established, forge friendships and alliances, and become accepted as part of the new colonies. Let those in the know think their past crimes are forgotten. And when we are ready, we burn down their false history and anyone who tries to defend it!”
The crowd cheered once more, and Aaron smiled triumphantly down at Tsy'Lo as he leapt casually from the roof. As he landed, many hands patted his back and many questions were yelled, but it all ceased as one of the Gardeners stepped forward. It was Eridor, as there was no mistaking the red cape he wore. "We need to leave, the Federation have entered our space.”
Next

Yes, it's my truck and No, I won't help you move and No, you can't buy it for 50 bucks!

This is long, so grab a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever keeps you happy and reading.
I live in a senior housing community for people aged 55 and older. We all have identical 1-bedroom cottages that’s set up in groups of four or quads so that all of our front doors face inward toward each other. So, if I open my front door, I have a very clear view of the front doors of my 3 neighbors and because I am in the back of this quad, I also have a view of the parking area. I think the purpose of grouping the houses this way was to create a friendly and safe atmosphere; however, it’s just creepy in a “you have no privacy” kind of way.
I am F57, disabled, and have a 16-year-old pickup truck that gets me where I need to go most of the time. If you’ve ever owned a pickup truck, you’ll understand my frustration. If you haven’t owned one, talk to anyone who has and they will tell you that according to friends, family, acquaintances, neighbors, and even complete strangers, you have it so that you can help them move, haul furniture or a tree they cut down, and anything else they can’t fit in the trunk of their car. AND because it is a pickup truck, it can be mistreated, abused, dented, scratched, beaten up, and treated like a piece of heavy construction equipment and you shouldn’t care because well. . . it’s a truck.
I have a neighbor (F - about 65 years old) that has kind of made a pest of herself since the day I moved in. I’ve done my best to be neighborly, nice, and accommodating, but each time I interact with her, I’m left feeling used. The neighbor, let's call her Karen, has come over pretending to want to visit with me, which she does for about 2 minutes, and then asks me for something. In the 3 years that I’ve been here, she’s asked me to set up 2 TVs (at different times), take a new alarm clock out of its packaging and then teach her how to operate it. I’ve been asked to fill out her food stamp paperwork, fill out information for her lease renewal, read a piece of mail to her and explain it because she didn’t understand it, to take her places and to “loan” her money for the bus. That’s just a few.
Now that you get the idea of what I’ve dealt with before, it’s time for the story.
One Monday morning, Karen comes beating on my door (she does what I call a “cop knock” – loud, hard, and repeated) around 8 a.m., waking me up. (I am a night owl, by the way.) I go to the door and she is standing there holding her natural gas bill telling me how she needed a ride to the gas company's office to talk to them about paying the bill and hands me the bill. I look at it, hoping to find a phone number for her to call, but there isn't one, but I do see that her bill is for about $17. So, I take her across town with her providing the directions since I had never been to this building (the gas company did not have an office in town, so I guess this was maybe a payment center). I drop her at the front, park, and wait for her. Karen comes out saying that they can't help her there and asks me if she should just call them to make arrangements to make payments since she didn't have the money. I tell her that's what I would do and bring her back home. We basically made this trip for nothing.
Two days later, there is another loud, repeated banging on my door waking me up just before 9 a.m. Karen is back and seems to be a little frantic. She needs a ride again. This time she's very vague about why she wants to go, but left me with the impression that something was going to get turned off, repossessed, or turned over to collections if she didn't go. She's also vague as to where she wants to go. She keeps tell me that it's down by the casino, across the street from the gas station. I told her I'd take her but she would have to point me in the right direction since I've never been to the casino. She gives me turn by turn directions until she has me turn left onto the entrance road for the casino. I'm looking around for any other businesses or even the gas station and I'm not seeing anything other than the casino in front of us and open land on either side. So, I ask her where am I supposed to be dropping her. Karen points to an upcoming sign and says, "See the sign that says 'Valet'? Just follow that sign." Yep, you guessed it, Karen had me drop her at the front entrance to the casino. She'd lied to me by omission. She didn't ask me to take her to the casino (which I would probably have done since it's none of my business how she spends her money), she asked me to take her to a business near the casino. Yeah, well, I wasn't happy. On Monday she couldn't afford to pay her $17 gas bill and on Wednesday she's going to the casino by tricking me into taking her.
A week goes by and I am in the office paying my rent when Karen comes in.
Karen: Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here today. Girl, I just walked all the way here.
Me: Didn’t know you needed a ride. I can give you a ride back to the house if you would like.
I wait while Karen pays her rent and we walk out together. Now, I’m expecting to get in my truck and drive the 4 blocks back to my house. Karen had another idea.
Karen: Take me to Everything’s Cheap store.
Me: Where?
Karen: To Everything’s Cheap. Just turn here at the stop sign and I’ll show you. It’s not far.
Me: Karen, I’m going to take you there, but I’m not shopping and I’m not going to sit in the parking lot and wait for you. You’ll have to get another ride home or walk.
Karen: It’s fine. I won’t be long.
I drop her at the front door and I go home. A couple of hours later, she bangs on my door.
Karen: Where did my ride go?
Me: Home. I told you that I wasn’t going to wait for you.
Karen: I had all my stuff that I had to carry home. Now my back hurts.
Me: I’m sorry, but I warned you.
Karen walks away muttering things that I didn’t understand and slammed her door.
Skip ahead several months and I run into Karen again as I am paying my rent. She wants me to give her a ride to the Social Security office. I tell her that I can't as my truck is not running right and I can't get too far from home in it until I get it check out and fixed. My truck started having issues and it's been difficult trying to get it fixed with lock-down, a back issue that left me bedridden for several weeks, and 2 major hurricanes this year (there’s nothing major wrong with the truck - just needs a new starter and gaskets to fix an oil leak that's caused the starter to go bad).
Karen: But it's just a few blocks away and it's hot out here.
Me: I can't trust my truck not to leave me stranded with no way to get it home.
Karen: It will be fine.
Me: Maybe, but I'm not willing to risk it.
Karen slaps the side of my truck and continues on her walk and I go home in my truck.
Another 3 days go by and more banging on my door and again I am awakened (it's 7:15 a.m.). This time I'm angry and I snatched the door open.
Me: What?
Karen (standing there with her purse and house keys in her hand as if she knows I'll say yes): I need to go to the mattress store. I need to pick up my new queen size mattress.
Me: No. My truck still isn't running right.
Karen: But I need your truck to haul the mattress home.
Me: No.
Karen: It's not a heavy mattress.
Me: Oh, so who’s going to help you get it in and out of my truck and carry it into your house?
Karen: The two of us can do it.
Me: Karen, I have degenerative disk disease. The disks in my spine are disintegrating. I can't lift nor carry a mattress even with someone helping.
Karen: But I already bought it. How am I going to get it home?
Me: Call friends or family to help you.
Karen: They don't have a truck and you do!
Me: Yes, I have a truck, but there is no sign anywhere on it that says Free Moving Company.
I close the door on her and go back to bed. An hour later, more knocking. This time, it's an older man.
Man 1: Excuse me, but is that your truck? (He points at my truck in the parking lot.)
Me: Yes.
Man 1: I have an upright piano I need to move and was wondering if I could use your truck.
Me: No. (I glance over at the neighbor's house and I see her peeking through a crack in her door - I have a sneaking suspicion she has put this guy up to this to see if I would help him.)
Man 1: You can drive the truck. I just need to have the piano hauled to my storage unit.
Me: How are you going to get an upright piano into the bed of my truck?
Man 1: I'll just roll it up a ramp and into the back.
Me: Do you know how much an upright piano weighs? One person can't push it up a ramp. If you use a ramp on my tailgate, you will break the tailgate and probably lose the piano in the process. My truck is large, but the rear end is not made for hauling a piano and will cause the front end to lift off the ground preventing my front wheel drive truck from gaining traction and straining my 16-year-old engine.
Man 1: Well, could you call 4 or 5 of your male friends to help lift it into the back of the truck?
Me: No!
I close the door on this man, too. He didn’t come right out and say it, but I felt like he wanted to borrow my truck so he could go pick up the mattress for Karen. Yeah, I’m a little suspicious.
The following morning . . . *sigh* . . . I ignore the knocking that occurs every half hour or so over a 3-hour period until she finally gives up. Later that afternoon, I open my door to get the mail out of my box when a second man approaches me out of nowhere. It’s like he was hiding around the corner waiting for me to come out of my house.
Man 2 (points at my truck - it irritates me every time someone does this): Is that your truck?
Me (feeling very annoyed and snarky): What gave it away? Is it because it's parked in a space clearly labeled with my house number? Or is it because someone told you who the truck belonged to? (I point at Karen's house.)
Man 2: Does it run?
Me: Listen, I don't know what you're wanting me pick up, deliver, move, haul, transport, or tow, but I am not a moving company, taxi, uber, delivery service, or a tow truck. I won't be doing any of those things and before you ask, I won't be allowing you or anyone else to drive my truck either. Now, do you have any other questions?
Man 2: Uh, do you want to sell it?
Me: What?! Why would I want to sell it?
Man 2: Well, since it needs fixing, I thought maybe you would want to sell it to someone who could afford to fix it.
Me: How do you know it needs fixing?
Man 2 (turns bright red and can't take his eyes off ground): I just thought if you sold it, you could buy something else and I could fix the truck.
Me: Tell Karen that I'm not selling you my truck so that you can fix it to give to her.
Man 2: I wasn't going to give it to her.
Me (pointing at his huge truck parked in Karen's designated space): You want me to believe that you would rather have my 16-year-old truck that needs repair than your brand-new truck? How stupid do you think I am?
As the older man silently stares at the ground, Karen flings her door open and marches up to me.
Karen: Just sell him your truck so he can fix it. You clearly aren't going to do it any time soon. At least I will put it to good use. I need it and I need it more than you apparently do. Now, he’s willing to get it fixed for me, so just sell him the damn truck already!
Me: My truck is not for sale! When or if I get my truck fixed is absolutely none of your business.
Karen: I’m going to call the office and tell them that you have a broken-down truck sitting in the parking lot that needs to be hauled to the junk yard. They’ll make you get rid of it or fix it.
Man 2: Karen, they can’t do anything to her . . .
Karen cuts him off. She’s so angry, she’s crying, shaking, and spitting as she screams
Karen: SHUT UP! STAY OUT OF THIS. I WANT THAT TRUCK AND I’M GOING TO GET IT! I’LL CALL THE POLICE. THEY WILL MAKE HER GET RID OF IT.
Man 2: Karen, the police aren’t . . .
She cuts him off again.
Karen: YES, THEY WILL. THEY'LL LISTEN TO ME.
She storms off to call the police. In the meantime, I brought a chair outside along with a can of soda and a bowl of microwave popcorn. I figured this was going to be a good show. Karen and Man 2 have gone inside her house to wait. The neighbor to my left has come out to see what’s going on. Let’s call her Mary. Mary can’t stand Karen, so she drags a chair out and sits next to me and we share my popcorn.
Enter Cop 1 and Cop 2
The cops arrive in about 5-6 minutes and walk up to Karen’s door and knock while glancing around at Mary and me and grinning. She answers and tells them that I have created an eyesore in the neighborhood by having an old beat up, broken-down truck sitting in the parking lot and she wants it removed immediately.
Cop 1 (pointing at my truck - yep, he does it, too and I can't help but roll my eyes): That truck?
Karen: Yes.
Cop 1: That truck is clean, shiny, no dents, no scratches, new tires . . . are you sure that’s the eyesore?
Karen: Yes. It’s 10 years old and broken and she doesn’t want to fix it. It’s just sitting there doing nothing for months.
Me: It’s 16 years old.
Cop 2 (spins around, surprised): Seriously? That truck is that old? Wow! It’s in great shape. You’ve taken good care of her.
Me: Thank you.
Karen: I want that truck gone!
Cop 2 walks over to me to discuss my truck’s mechanical history. So, I explain to him that in the 16 years that I have owned her, I have changed her oil every 3-4 months, given her a bath once a month, got her a new set of tires 6 years ago, and when I first began having problems with her starting, I bought a new battery (the old one was the original battery from when I bought the truck off the showroom floor), and when the battery wasn’t the problem, I had a mechanic come and look at it. He determined that it was the starter and the gasket was leaking. All I was waiting on was my friend to come and help me start her (someone needs to get under the truck and tap the starter while someone else turns over the ignition) so that I can get it to the mechanic’s house for him to work on it.
Karen: She’s lying. That truck hasn’t moved in 3 months.
Me (offering popcorn to Cop 2 who took a handful): Wrong. It hasn’t moved in 4 days. It’s had problems for 3 or 4 months.
Cop 1: Ms. Karen, there really isn’t anything the police department can do for you. Her truck definitely isn’t an eyesore nor is it sitting there in pieces creating a safety hazard.
Karen: She’s driving down property values.
Cop 1 (starts chuckling): Ms. Karen, you are renting a house in government subsidized senior housing.
Cop 2: Why don’t you tell us the real reason why you want her truck removed.
Mary (who has been silent until now - stands up and turns on her best diva soul-sister voice and attitude and gives the cops the greatest Deep-South Beautiful Black Woman sermon I’ve ever heard – I’ll try to write as best I can): Ohh, Lawd Jesus, help us all! Dis here woman of the night, want everything she can’t have, Lawd! I think it’s cuz she pulls her hair back so tight, Lawd, she can only see what’s in the back o’ her mind! Uh huh! She wants her Old Saggy Boy Toy of the Day here to buy my friend’s pick’em up truck, so she can go and pick’em up, Lawd, mm-hmm, if ya gittin' what I’m sayin’. He buy it and trade it to her for a little roll on her nasty sheets! Lawd Jesus, help us! And she think she all hot and sexy so you believe her and take away my friend’s truck. She a fool, uh huh. She think she can fool you, too, uh huh! How da hell do ya think she got those 2 big ass TVs in there? Mmm-hmm!
Cop 1 is bent over laughing hysterically while Cop 2 is standing with his mouth open and his eyes wide.
Cop 2 (turns to Man 2): Is any of that true?
Man 2 (embarrassed, humiliated, and just looking tired): She wanted the truck and 50 bucks.
Karen and Man 2 are arrested. Not sure what the exact charges were but I heard words being thrown around like pandering, solicitation, scamming, and false complaint among others. A couple of days later, Mary told me that Karen returned home. I guess she found a way to get bailed out. I haven’t seen her and I am hoping that I don’t. As for my “pick’em up truck”, I’m still waiting to get her to the mechanic. My friend will be here on his next day off (he doesn't get them often) to help me. It’s a good thing I’m a patient person with a super diva as a friend and neighbor. It's also good to know that my truck is at least worth one 20-minute roll on the sheets and 50 bucks.
EDIT: Thanks for the awards everyone! And just a little side note for those of you rolling your eyes at the fact that I offered a cop popcorn and he took it - I live in the Deep South in a small-ish college town. The cops here are helpful, friendly (until provoked), and generally good guys. When construction workers stole from me after Hurricane Laura, two cops came to investigate and afterwards I offered them both a bottle of water and they accepted.

[Let's Build] Attractions in a demon pleasure palace that aren't sexual

My players are going to be visiting the palace of a demon lord of pleasure who's more CN than CE. I want to show that despite his title, he represents all forms of pleasure and good feelings, not just sex. Also space in his realm doesn't work the same way as it does in the mortal plane. He essentially has an infinite amount of space to work with and can customize it as he pleases, so there are no size constraints.

A casino to feel the thrill of gambling.
A dining hall with an endless buffet that visitors are allowed to eat as much as they wish.
An idyllic beach with perfectly white sand to relax or play on.
An arena where gladiators brawl it out against each other. The point of it isn't to kill each other as much as make the battles look stunning to the audience.
A hotel with the most comfortable beds possible. Here anyone with enough money can enjoy a good rest after all the excitement.
A beautiful and well tended garden filled with aromatic flowers and sweet fruits.
A vineyard where exquisitely-aged wine can be produced just by pressing the grapes. (u/_SovietMudkip_)
A petting zoo full of the babies of dangerous creatures. (u/_SovietMudkip_)
An opulent concert hall where the best musicians of the realms perform (u/_SovietMudkip_)
A small, cozy looking wooden library, with a cushioned bay window where rain gently scatters against the glass and a cup of some hot liquid gently rising with steam. (u/QuietOracle)
An owl-bear hugging zoo. Go to sleep in the embrace of their soft down. (u/QuietOracle)
The room of sensory experiences. The room itself is fairly plain, with the main feature being long tables running the length of the room. On closer inspection there are fist-sized carved holes, each one holding a small round crystal... (u/QuietOracle)
A room with dozens of sacks filled with beans, lentils and grains where visitors can put their hands in and let the contents run through their fingers. (u/_WhiteCubeCat_)
A hag (or any other long nailed creature) giving visitors a scalp massage. (u/_WhiteCubeCat_)
A museum of little-known or long-forgotten art pieces, sculptures, and history. (u/MoonlightMancer)
A festival full of colors, music, and drinks. Everyone seems to love you, and you can’t stop laughing. (u/MoonlightMancer)
A hallway of endless doors. In each room is someone you know, complimenting you endlessly, sharing every positive, even begrudgingly jealous thought they ever had about you. (u/MoonlightMancer)
A room full of bubble wrap. (u/EmmaDrake)
A hot spring/spa, with fluffy towels, those showers that are like rain with perfect water pressure, mud baths, and refreshing food and drink. (u/lionesslindsey)
A room full of people that constantly give you validation and laugh at all your jokes. (u/CountryJeff)
Never-ending line of gold chalices, crystal vases, silver artwork, and other valuables. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
People who are “better” than you are marched in a stripped of their superior qualities. Beautiful people are disfigured and turned ugly. Wealthy powerful people are ruined and made to beg you for pennies. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
Mass groups of people enter the room and tell you how they admire you and how wonderful you are. They stroke your ego and inflate your pride. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
Servants do everything for you. Feed you, give you drinks, wash you, wipe your arse, etc. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
You are given a wickedly barbed leather whip. A slave creature is bound to a post and you can whip this creature to inflict your wrath upon them as much as you desire. If the poor soul dies, another is brought in to replace them. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
'Knight for a day'. The full experience; lance, shiny outfit, a squire, a trusty stead, a dragon and a princess/prince to rescue. (u/mr_earthman)
The magical equivalent of a holo deck (u/cyber-viper)
Wide, flat plain with the fastest vehicles in the multiverse (a good place to use the Avernus vehicles) (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A selection of cities and villages for you to destroy with war machines or your own magic. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A collection of wand that allow you to test out powerful magic. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A magical version of a movie theatre, allowing you to watch all manner of stories, true and legendary. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A moderately large pool where small battleships with tiny animated crewmen can be deployed in teams to shell and board each other for the audience's amusement. Honored guests can put their strategic abilities to a test against other players by directly giving orders to their ships, and in certain hours guests may even swim in the pool to live out the power fantasy of being a sea monster. (u/VIixIXine)
A colorizer-device that transforms any clothes/armoweapons/other gear to any desired hue you wish (as long as it doesn’t affect the workings of the gear) (u/PaigeOrion)
A grand screen, showing a nearly infinite number of (screen)plays from all space and time, including the show with the disgraced human paladin delivering a green baby gnome back to his home land through incredible odds. (u/PaigeOrion)
A tiara that allows you to experience the sensory experience of a black cat as long as you wear it and close your eyes. (u/PaigeOrion)
A plethora of small, multicolored blocks that will magically interlock with one another to render almost any architectural structure imaginable. (But don’t step on them barefoot!) (u/PaigeOrion)
A band of musicians who are the perfect musical backup for any performances. Alone, they are more low key, but no less skilled, playing haunting melodies of unknown origin. (u/PaigeOrion)
A massive walk-in closet where you can try in any clothes in any fashion you like. (u/Tezla44)
A "schadenfreude" theatre, with shows that rely on slapstick and cringe comedy. (u/Martinus_XIV)
A REALLY good chocolate fountain (u/BrokenBanette)
A room designed to give you closure. When you enter this room, someone you loved and lost is there, sitting in a couch. The room feels vaguely familiar, but you can't place why. If Detect Magic is used, the room is full of magic (divination, transmutation, illusion) but the person seems like a normal person. You can chat with them for as long as you like. They behave just as you remember them, with the good and the bad. (u/ohsurenerd)
A theatre performing the most magnificent tragedies. When you watch the performance, you find yourself completely enraptured: you cheer when things go right, scream when something terrifying happens, and moan and weep at the inevitable horrible ending. When you leave, it feels like removing a backpack full of lead that you'd been carrying for so long you'd forgotten it was there. (u/ohsurenerd)
A room where there's a button, there's someone outside and it explains that if you enter there's a 50/50 chance of you dying or not, the room won't actually kill you and it's there just to make you feel the pleasure of near death experience. (u/SupremeGodDictator)
A massage parlor with the universes best staff pampering your every need as you receive the most relaxing massage of your life whether it be scalp, back, foot, full body, etc. Has the worlds fluffiest towels and robes to luxuriate in while you wait or if you simply want to sit in a comfy chair and enjoy your ache free muscles. (u/Blue_Mando)
An arena where you and your opponents heal near instantly, and you can fight endlessly (u/ellen-the-educator)
A reenactment of your greatest failures in life, but this time they turn into your greatest achievements. (u/CountryJeff)
A room with the world's finest works of art.... and a myriad of implements you can use to destroy them. (u/redrosebeetle)
A torture chamber with mages on hand to create illusions of the people you wish to torture. Or increasingly realistic versions of them, depending on the level of magic you wish to implement. (u/redrosebeetle)
A room full of gold and jewels you can roll around in, ala Scrooge McDuck. But woe betide anyone who tries to take a souvenir.... (u/redrosebeetle)
As you're walking through the gardens, a person comes up to you. They introduce themselves as an adventurer who's also here on a quest. They seem to be the same class as you, and they're incredibly attractive-- almost exactly your type. You immediately click and end up spending the day together, talking about everything and anything. You tell them things you've never told anyone else before. They understand everything you tell them, almost innately, but they're still impressed by your feats and your stories. The two of you find an empty bedroom and close the door behind you. It's perfect in its imperfections. In the morning they're gone. No matter where you look, you can't find them. (u/ohsurenerd)
A room lined with shelves and shelves of bottles and vials containing a crimson liquid flowing slowly (like a syrup), all with small labels on them. As you inspect the labels, you realize they've all got names on them: famous adventurers, kings and queens, great sages. If you drink one, you experience a selection of their memories as they experienced them: battles won, discoveries made, historical alliances and friendships being forged or broken... (u/ohsurenerd)
A room that turns anyone that enters it into a child. It is full of every toy imaginable (u/arual_x)
A tour of a chocolate factory. Kobolds work there, and the owner, who gives the tour, is a Metallic Dragon in Humanoid form. (u/arual_x)
A fortune teller who has a Deck of Many Things with only the good cards. If you in any way offend them, they will sleight of hand vs perception check slip you a bad card instead. (u/arual_x)
An island theme park of reanimated dinosaurs. The owner is a level 20 Necromancer called Hamm Johnand. (u/arual_x)
A Virtual Reality style game that allows you to battle horrible monsters over and over again without risk of injury physical. But still allows you to gain XP... (u/arual_x)
A perfect expanse of thick snowy ground. There is constantly a snowball fight going on. (u/arual_x)
A giant room full of mattresses where everyone immediately gets a wonderful massage. (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
A room where you get to torture all of your worst enemies (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
A room where people applaud you, give you a trophy, etc (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
A room where you get something that was denied to you (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
A room full of gold and exquisite things, from beautiful furniture to magic weapons (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
A seemingly endless room where adventurers can drink a potion to grow wings and flit about to their hearts' delight (u/iriedashur)
An ordinary classroom containing the adventurer's childhood friends, enemies, and their most hated teacher. Upon entering the room, the adventurer discovers that they are invisible, and free to pull pranks as they wish (u/iriedashur)
A brightly colored room piled high with wrapped gifts, large and small, for the adventurers to open endlessly (u/iriedashur)
A purple and black dragon named Ace who cooks you garlic bread and cake. (u/sanorace)
A magic pair of goggles/glasses that simulate any “What if” question you pose to them. (u/lewiscann)
A magical weather room where you can ask for any weather for your pleasure (I love listening to rain) (u/lewiscann)
A room full of lounges with a floating slow burning piece of wood that warms the whole area, the piece of wood is so large you can see the flame spread through this piece of wood forever (u/lewiscann)
A room where you can bite your fingernails and they grow back instantly ( so you can bite them some more )(u/razenastie)
A room with incredibly weakened versions of powerful monsters. (u/Your_InsideMan)
A vast room on wooden sculptures, oil, and torches. (u/Your_InsideMan)
A zoo of sentient races (u/Paralytica)
A collection of legendary heroes magically transfixed in blocks of ice. (u/Paralytica)
Palanquin rentals (u/Paralytica)
A booth that will remake your face whilst in the palace (ostensibly to make you more beautiful but it could be used for anything) (u/Paralytica)
A magic chair that gives really good back massages (u/TenNinetythree)
A playground where the slides and carousels are for adults (u/TenNinetythree)
A room where you become a giant and can destroy cities and fortresses kaiju style. (u/Paralytica)
Drug Olympics. A room with every drug imaginable to try. Leaving the room cleanses you of their effects. (u/Skitsafrit)
No Pauses. A room that has the effect of making all conversations flow perfectly. No silence stretches too long, no one mishears you, and every topic segways perfectly into the next. (u/Skitsafrit)
Deprivation Room. The room is so absolutely featureless and quiet, that you can meditate magnitudes better here than anywhere else. (u/Skitsafrit)
A games room where you play against your perfect match (u/Nesurame)
Similar to the previous, a games room where you're matched against nothing but weaker opponents (u/Nesurame)
A smoky, dreamweed hookah lounge (u/reallyenjoyscarbs)
A heist simulator where you always get away with the big diamond, chest, etc (thrill of theft) (u/reallyenjoyscarbs)
A sauna room with a central pillar. Inside the pillar is a chamber containing a magic stone which can detect the exact temperature preferences of those inside, and making each person feel said preference. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
An oval-shaped room with countless glass lotion bottles, with each smelling better than the last. If you look for a specific scent (no matter how rare), you'll certainly find it with the help of a goblin near the back of the room. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
A room that consists of A bunch of mortals so utterly jaded from years of plesure seeking that they need the hardest of drugs and the wildest of sensations to feel anything,with lesser demons feeding on their pursuit of euphoria. Think the emperors children from warhammer 40k. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
A buffet of the lids of yogurt/pudding cups to lick. (u/Hunter37594)
An olfactory room that reads your memories and replicates smells that remind you of your most joyous moments. (u/lecorbusianus)
A wildlife reserve for Druids to find new and exotic wild shapes. (u/lecorbusianus)
A room with musical instruments that you're able to master immediately. (u/lecorbusianus)
Zero gravity obstacle course. (u/lecorbusianus)
A cooking class taught by a master chef that always seems to have enough time to guide you one-on-one. (u/lecorbusianus)
An enchanter who allows you to relieve the best moments of your life over and over again. (u/lecorbusianus)
An illusionary room that brings up past experiences and let’s you make different choices to fix mistakes or win arguments. (u/The_Rhibo)
A murder simulator to allow an individual to live out the fantasy of killing that special someone. (u/Brann_The_Kid)
A library full of blackmail and secret knowledge regarding historical and political figures. A conniving, plotting character’s dream! (u/MoonlightMancer)
A room where you can see colors that shouldn't exist. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A room with a creature in a dark robe sitting at a table covered in maps and dice. He helps you play a strange game where you and your party make up characters that go on adventures while the robed creature acts as all of the other characters and determines new events. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
...

Black Nobility and the Vatican.

The black nobility is the base of the global crime syndicate that controls this planet. The black nobility or black aristocracy are the aristocratic families that sided with the papacy under Pope Pius IX after the army of the Kingdom of Italy led by the Savoy family entered Rome on September 20, 1870, overthrew the pope . and the Papal States, and took over the Quirinal Palace, and the nobles later ennobled by the Pope prior to the Lateran Treaty of 1929. Any family that produced popes for the Vatican is royalty. Most of the black nobility are Vatican royalty. The black nobility consider themselves sovereign princes. These families earned the title of "black" nobility for their relentless unscrupulousness. They used murder, rape, kidnapping, robbery and all kinds of deception on a large scale, without resisting the achievement of their objectives. The black nobility were the families that financed and created the holy corporation of the Vatican with the aim of imposing world slavery as a necessary institution, with the sole belief that some are born to rule and others to be ruled. The idea that certain families were born to rule as an arbitrary elite, while the vast majority of a given population is condemned to oppression, servitude, or slavery became the theological position of this elite. The "New World Order" is an attempt to take control of society by these fascist families with the purpose of the total slavery of humanity.
The Vatican is an imperial nation and is the largest empire in this world. The Vatican City, or the Holy Vatican Corporation, officially the Vatican City State, is a nation that operates as the largest intelligence network in the world. The Holy See is the "All-Seeing Eye" in society and a corporate entity connected to many other corporations and governments through papal and royal statutes. Archbishops and high-level bishops are the overseers of society within their districts and oversee politics, police, business, and organized crime. The same year that the professor of ecclesiastical law and practical philosophy at the University of Ingolstadt, Adam Weishaupt, created the Order of the Illuminati, was the same year that they created the United States as a corporation to run it as their private army and lead I dig the agenda of a "New World Order" for the elites, mainly, thanks to the infiltrated Freemasonry and directed by the Jesuits.
The New World Order is a conspiracy of lineage at the top. They are ancient and evil bloodlines that build and destroy empires for control through an order out of chaos. Royal and noble houses are corporate entities and claim to rule and own land, resources, and people. Landlords have always been the dominant owners of gold and precious metals. They empower and finance bankers and entrepreneurs to work for them through their corporate homes. They authorize and issue the creation of laws, agencies, the military, companies, and universities. They create and run religions and secret societies. They also finance and organize organized crime syndicates as if they were commercial enterprises. Some of the major royal bloodlines include Savoy, Bourbon, Medici, Glücksburg, Wittelsbach, Nassau-Weilberg, Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, Romanov, Grimaldi, Orleans, Braganza, Habsburg, Hannover, Windsor, Saud, Thani, Khalifa, Alouwite , Zogu, Hohenzollern, Orange-Nassau, Bonaparte and Bernadotte. Many royal bloodlines still rule their nations as heads of state such as the United Kingdom, Belgium, the Netherlands, Denmark, Monaco, Spain, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Morocco, Sweden, Norway, and Luxembourg. The Vatican City State is also a kingdom with the Pope of Rome as its monarch. The Black Nobility are the ancient bloodlines of the Papal States and they own the Holy See and the Vatican. They produced the first popes of Rome and held leadership positions in the Vatican from its inception. The Colonna and Torlonia still hold the hereditary positions of the Assistant Princes to the Papal Throne. The black nobility consider themselves sovereign princes. The Vatican is used as a central point of control and the Holy See is one of the oldest and most criminal corporate entities in existence. The Spanish Catholic Church is immensely rich, it has not suffered the crisis and also enjoys a true tax haven, being free to pay taxes, such as the IBI, works, companies, etc. The vast majority of the assets in their possession and on their accounts are completely opaque. This situation is illegitimate, unfair and presumably illegal, and this occurs with the complicity and consent of the public powers.
The Erlach and Brandi families are Swiss tax advisers who enable corruption, bribery, criminal financing, and money laundering. The Swiss Guard is the one that protects the Vatican City State. The Swiss cantons have been in contract with the Vatican for centuries and Switzerland is basically a papal state with the noble Roman saints claiming partial ownership. The German house of Baden-Zahringen founded Bern, in Switzerland. The House of Savoy ruled the regions of Switzerland for hundreds of years. Some of the most important bloodlines of the Black Nobility are: Massimo, Colonna, Pallavicini, Odescalchi, Ruspoli, Orsini, Aldobrandini, Sforza-Cesarini, Boncompagni-Ludovisi, Chigi-Albani-Della Rovere, Doria-Pamphilj, Rospigliosi, Giustiniani , Torlonia, Corsini, Borghese, Del Drago, Lucchesi-Palli, and Gaetani. The Pecci and Pacelli families are more recent bloodlines of the Black Nobility. The black nobility share ownership over the Holy See, which is a corporate entity based in the Vatican City State that was established as a nation in 1929 under Benito Mussolini, who was put in power by the House of Savoy. The Mussolini and Franco families became nobles after their fascist regimes. The Black Nobility also owns the Knights of Malta, the Jesuits, and the Cosa Nostra. The Black Nobility established branches in southern Italy and married Sicilian-Campanian nobles such as the Lanza di Scalea, Adragna, Sanseverino, Tomasi di Lampedusa, Paterno, Cattaneo, Serena di Lapigio and Rocco di Torrepadula families. Many Italian crime families were Sicilian nobles like the Bonanno and Bellomo families. Both the mafia bosses and the Italian and Spanish nobles call themselves Dons, which is the equivalent of Boos (boss) of crime. The Savoy, Savoy-Aosta, Medici, Borbon-Dos Sicilias, and Borbon-Parma families are members of Italian royalty and are married to various European royal bloodlines and Black Nobility. Most of the monarchs are members of the Sovereign Military Order of Malta. Prince Carlo Massimo has been overseeing the Sovereign Military Order of Malta as President of the Italian Association of SMOM. The Knights of Malta have an undercover operation at the Jesuit School of Foreign Service in Georgetown, run by Joel Hellman. The Jesuits and the Knights of Malta basically run the Defense Department alongside British Crown agents and high-level Freemasons. Prince Carlo de Borbón-Dos Sicilias is a high commander of the Society of Jesus through his Sacred Constantinian Military Order of Saint George. The Jesuits were authorized by Pope Paul III of the Farnese family. The Bourbon-Dos Sicilias and Borbon-Parma families are the continuation of the Farnese family, the name Farnesivs is engraved in the Jesuit headquarters called the Church of Gesu in Rome. The Farnese family lived in a pentagonal fortress called Farnese Villa Caprarola, which is the basis for the design of the American Pentagon. Jesuits are involved in education, politics, banking, science, law, and especially military intelligence. The Italian Bourbons have established residences all over the world, including Florida. Jesuits need to be investigated and banned, they have rightly been expelled from almost every country in the world, but they always end up coming back. In Spain three times, his last return was at the hands of General Franco.
The Holy See is a corporate body that issues laws and bills, such as the Golden Bull, which claims ownership of the Kingdom of England and identifies the emperor as the sovereign of the only legitimate universal empire, directly chosen by God. The Pope claims temporal power or ownership over the Earth and also claims Papal Supremacy or Papal Rule and Papal Infallibility. Infallibility means incapable of being wrong. The Roman Curia or Papal Court is the highest organized council in society and is directly supervised by the two “Assistants of the Prince to the Pontifical Throne”, these two positions are held by the princes of the Colonna and Torlonia families. They work with a higher level princely council of the Italian nobility that works with another council made up of the Roman nobility. The Italian and Austrian nobility are married to each other and work closely together leading the Sovereign Military Order of Malta, which is a sovereign entity equivalent to that of a sovereign nation. The Italian Nobility, La Cosa Nostra and the German and Austrian Nobles, run the Jewish Mafia. Royalty and nobles have massive amounts of wealth in private bank accounts in Switzerland. They use the Nazi-founded Bank for International Settlements to steal wealth from central banks through fraudulent tax contracts and then launder and hide the wealth in private bank accounts in Switzerland. The main Italian lineages still active include the Massimo, Colonna, Pallavicini, Torlonia, Aldobrandini, Ruspoli, Orsini, Gaetani-D'Aragona, Borbón-Parma, Odescalchi, Borghese, Adragni, Chigi, Medici, Borromeo, Doria-Pamphilj, Sacchetti, Savoy, Grimaldi and Bourbon. These bloodlines oversee the various specters of society. Outside of this power structure is the Committee of 300 with an inner circle made up of the leading monarchs and princes of Europe and the former Holy Roman Empire with members from Windsor, Spencer, Cecil, Percy, Hohenlohe-Langenburg, Habsburg, Bonaparte, Orleans, Bernadotte, Lagergren, Glucksburg, Hannover, Furstenberg, Austria-East, Hohenberg, Hesse, Nassau-Weilberg, Habsburg-Lorraine, Saxe Coburg and Gotha, Saxony-Weimar-Eisenach, Saxony-Meiningen, Braganza, Orange-Nassau, Hohenzollern , Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen, Liechtenstein, Rothschild, FitzJames, Lobkowicz, Ligne, Merode, Romanov, Thurn and Taxis, Schwarzenberg, Orsini-Rosenberg, Windisch-Graetz, Esterhazy and other families. Many members who do not have noble status on the Committee of 300 are representatives of the royal families.
These families are all enemies of humanity and have conspired to enslave the world for centuries. They authorize and create corporations and billionaires, run religions, states, secret societies, the mafia, and organized crime syndicates. Royal families in Europe are mainly divided into two factions, and this dates back to the Guelph merchants and Ghibelline landowners. All other groups like Bilderberg, CFR, and the Trilateral Commission are lower-level organizations. All roads lead to Rome, which is the basis of its control system. The European Constitutional Monarchies are branches of the corporate empire of Rome. Constitutional Monarchies are ruled by blood-appointed heads of state and serve Rome through the Sovereign Military Order of Malta. The Pope claims temporary or physical ownership of the Earth. The Pope claims to be infallible of error. The Pope claims ownership over all souls through the papal doctrine of "Papal Supremacy." The Pope is a leader for the Black Nobility of Italy.
The Jesuits are a military priesthood officially established by Pope Paul III A.K. to Alessandro Farnese of the Farnese family. The Jesuits were officially established under the Papal Bull called Regimini Militantis Ecclesiae, which means Military Regiment of the Church as the continuation of the Templars. The Black Nobles are the true owners and controllers of the Vatican and maintain their control throughout the centuries by installing their relatives as high-level popes and bishops. At present the Torlonia and Colonna families who have the hereditary positions of Prince Assistants to the Papal Throne are those who supervise the pope. In turn Pope Francis supervises all members of the Catholic Church and also supervises the various secret societies that are connected with the Church.
The Jesuits are also a Masonic order and were the continuation of the Templar orders when they were banned. The Roman Catholic Church mocks Christians by performing rituals where they pretend to drink blood and eat human flesh known as the Eucharist, also called Holy Sacrifice. The New Testament did not exist until about 1600 and the Old Testament is even more recent than the new. It was the Vatican and European monarchs who created both the New and the Old Testaments. The last official version of the bible was published in 1777.
The bishops and priests operate as supervisors and the Jesuits function as spies trained in deception and are infiltrated everywhere. The Pope claims temporal power or ownership over the Earth and also claims Papal Supremacy or Papal Rule and Papal Infallibility. Infallibility means incapable of being wrong. Archbishops are the overseers of society within their districts and oversee politics, police, business, and organized crime. The Latin phrase Novus Ordo Seclorum means New Order of Ages (or Ages), or also "New World Order", and is on the US dollar bill and Great Seal of the United States.
The Vatican uses Latin as an official language and for documents. America is named after the Italian Americo Vespucci who worked for the Medici family of Florence and Rome. Vespucci created the term New World for America. The Bank of America was originally called the Bank of Italy and was founded by Amadeo Giannini, who was financed by Italians. Nations were formed as companies or corporations to exploit their citizens as merchandise. Corporations are fraudulent constructions because they are considered a person with rights under the law, and because the owners and controllers of the corporations can disregard responsibility for crimes committed by the corporation. That is fraudulent. Corporations are not people and therefore cannot have rights. Corporations are also monopolies that use subsidiaries to hide their dominance over industry. Private companies cannot compete fairly with corporations. Citizens are also classified as legal persons (companies), robbing them of all their human rights. Corporations shouldn't exist.
Royalty and nobles issue charters establishing representative covert property agents controlled by corporate households or crowns of royalty and nobles. They claim to own foreign governments in this way. Royalty and nobles claim to own the United States as a continuation of the Virginia Company. Roman royalty such as the Hanover, Hesses, Wurttembergs, Hohenzollerns, Glucksburgs, Orange-Nassaus and Saxe-Coburg and Gothas claim a share of ownership over the British Crown. This is why the British royal family has so much German ancestry. The United States is defined as a federal corporation under US code 3002. Section 15. Most of the founding fathers were Freemasons and worked for the British Crown and German royalty. American political families, such as the Bushs, Clintons, Romneys, and Kennedys, take their names from European noble families that still exist. The Von Dem Bussche family are German nobles and relatives of the Bush family. The Clintons and Romneys are also British nobles. The Kennedys are Scottish-Irish nobles and an American political family involved with the Democratic Party. Mars, Walton, Rockefeller, Guggenheim, Getty, Hearst, Sackler, Lauder, Sachs, Busche, Johnson, McMahon, Forbes, and Cox are some of the billionaire American families that work with royalty and nobles in Europe. The Mars family is worth about 70 billion and works with the Windsor, Savoy, Thurn and Taxis families. The Waltons are worth around 130 billion and work with German nobles like the Württemberg, Baden, Hohenzollern and Isenberg families. The various Johnson families in the United States are collectively worth tens of billions and serve as agents for the House of Hannover. They own Johnson and Johnson and Fidelity Investments. The Hanovers are powerful royals and merchants who established the Hanseatic League. The Hearst family is worth more than 25 billion and several members were educated at Harvard University of the British Crown. The McMahon family is a billionaire and owner of the WWE and works under the Bonapartes and Savoys as their noble ancestors who were served militarily by the MacMahons during the Second Italian War of Independence. Today there are MacMahons in France with Italian and French titles of nobility. The Lauder family works for the House of Esterhazy in Austria and the House of East in Austria and Italy. The Guggenheims have assets worth hundreds of billions and are married to the House of Stuart. The Getty family are billionaire American oil merchants and are married to the Italian House of Ruspoli. The Forbes family are billionaires and American descendants of Scottish nobles who still exist.
All gang stalking and cult organizations are owned and controlled by members of royalty and nobility. Criminal organizations such as Royalty itself, Royal Institutions, The Company of Jesus, The Black Monks, The Hellfire Club, The Templar Orders, Freemasonry, The Grand Orient of France, The York Rite, The Scottish Rite, Prince Masonry of Prince Hall, Shriners International, The Royal Order of Jesters, The Cabal Society, Chabad, Scientology, Skull & Bones, The Boulé Society, The 5% Nation, The Nation of Islam, Black Israelites, The Ordo Templi Orientis ( OTO), The Temple of Set, The Church of Satan, Rosicrucian, Golden Dawn, Opus Dei, Mormons, Knights of Columbus, The Bohemian Club, Knights of Phintias, Ancient Order of Druids, Wicca, Santeria, Obeah, Voodoo, Sufism , Greek Fraternities and Brotherhoods, New Age and Gnostic Cults, Nazi Cults, KKK, Mafias, Prison Gangs, Biker Gangs and Street Gangs. The Rockefeller family uses their charitable foundations to fund harassment gangs and bribery in the United States, as well as globalization agendas and vaccination programs. The Rockefeller Foundation funded Almighty Vice Lord Nation, which is an organized crime group, and also funded the Tavistock Institute.
Hollywood, the Church of Scientology, and Silicon Valley are military operations like the US DARPA agency and run by European royalty and nobles like the Oettingen-Spielbergs, Schaumburg-Lippes, Anhalts, Hanovers, Windsors, Passi di Preposulos, Ruspolis, Torlonias and Odescalchis. The Ferragamo family is also involved in the management and financing of corruption in Hollywood. The House of Nassau-Weilberg, which is married to the Torlonias, funds human trafficking and human sacrifice in Hollywood. Idols in the entertainment industry are a dangerous cult with leaders who have access to electronic weapons. Most of modern electronics is being broadcast covertly with GENISIS and NEURON bio-piracy software controlled by Kabbalists and Scientologists. European monarchies function as extensions of Rome and run secret societies that infiltrate government agencies and run corporations for monarchs. The Sovereign Military Order of Malta is the main military council and works closely with the Orders of St. John administered by Protestant royalty such as the Windsors and the Hohenzollerns. The Order of Malta and the Order of Saint John are Masonic organizations with grand masters and titles for initiation. The royal and noble bloodlines are all working together as a global crime syndicate and part of a modernized Roman corporate empire. They also have several competing factions that create the illusion of division. The British crown and Scottish nobles such as the Bruce, Stewart, Sinclair, Campbell, Montagu, Scott, Hamilton, Percy, Boyle, Bowes-Lyon and Sutherland families administer a large part of Freemasonry. All of these families produced Grand Masters of the Grand Lodge of England. There are thousands of Masonic lodges in Europe and in the United States. Freemasonry must be investigated and outlawed. The Greek-German Royal House of Glucksburg directs the Greek fraternities and brotherhoods and uses initiates as its agents. Glucksburg nobles and Italians run the Boule Society, Boule is a Greek fraternal society for African Americans. Martin Luther King and Jesse Jackson have been members of Boule, among many other high-profile, successful, and wealthy blacks, including Barack Obama, Bill Cosby, Al Sharpton, and Thurgood Marshall. The Glucksburg family rules Denmark and Norway and recently ruled Greece. Among its members are the ex-queen Sofía of Spain and Duke Felipe de Edimburgo. Former Greek nobility and royal merchants such as the Mavroleon, Onassis, and Niarchos families are billionaires who have a monopoly in the shipping industry and work with British nobles. The Greek royal family currently lives in London from where many Greek consignment merchants operate. The British Crown authorized and controls universities such as Yale and Harvard which are used to recruit Crown agents through fraternal orders such as Skull & Bones and Book and Snake. Royal and noble families also do undercover business in the City of London Corporation, which dominates global markets. Some of the major London merchant families include the Goldsmith, Stuart, Rothschild, Grosvenor, Sassoon, Barclay, Sutherland, Montagu, Bailey and Guinness families. The Sutherland family created the HSBC bank that has a long history of financial scandals around the world (Emilio Botín, Fernando Alonso, Mohamed VI, Jorge Trías and Jordi Pujol Jr. had accounts at HSBC when it was chaired by Stephen Green, Baron Green of Hurstpierpoint). The Bailey family is co-founder of Janus Henderson through a merger. Janus Henderson manages around 190 billion in assets. The Stuart family owns the Hudson Bay Company and has an alliance with the Bavarian House of Wittelsbach, which is the covert owner of some of the Hudson's Bay Company subsidiaries, which were founded by Bavarian merchants. HBC has approximately $ 12 billion in assets and has had fiscal contracts with the United States through the Organic Law of the District of Columbia of 1871.
The Orange-Nassau family are influential traders through the Netherlands Trading Society and have a large number of shares in Royal Dutch Shell, Philips Electronics and ABN AMRO Bank. The Orange-Nassaus and their Dreyfus agents run the Rand Corporation, which has a contract with the US military. Rand's founder was a Dutch gentleman. The Orange-Nassau family also runs the Loyal Orange Institution in Ireland, which has infiltrated the police, justice and politics. The Luxembourg Nassau-Weilburg family are international bankers connected to the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund. The royal families of Luxembourg, Belgium and the Netherlands have shares in the European Investment Bank and all of these royals are recently married to Italian nobles. The Ligne family from Belgium are wealthy diamond and gold merchants. The Belgian Crown and its nobles are stealing wealth from the United States through fraudulent tax contracts established through the Organic Law of the District of Columbia of 1871 and continue to do so through the Bank for International Settlements. The Barons Strange heads the Masonic Order of Oddfellow. The Russell family are the Marquesses of Tavistock and they run the Tavistock Institute, which is an organization involved in mass mind control. The Russell family also co-founded the Yale University and Russell Trust Association, which is named after the New Haven, Connecticut company based on the Skull & Bones secret society.
Skull & Bones is a death cult military complex run by the Bush family from the USA who are like a European royal family in the USA. The Furstenberg family runs the Royal Order of Jesters who wear a jester on their coat of arms. The Clintons work closely with the House of Furstenberg, who have residences in the United States. The Italian Orsini family and the Holy Roman Rosenberg family lead the Rosicrucian Order of alchemists who infiltrate food and drug companies for chemical warfare. The Medici family, who have a statue of Hermes (Mercury) in their palace in Rome, administer the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, an alchemical secret society. The Medici were architects of modern banking. The Pierleoni family of Rome and the Spanish House of Bourbon-Anjou run the Kabbalah Society, which uses the Spanish lion for its logo. The Pacelli family of Rome and the Crescenzi family of Italy administer the Wiccan witchcraft cults. The Bavarian Wittelsbach family from Bavaria created the Bavarian Illuminati and administers the Benedictine Monks and is also part of the Jewish Mafia in the United States who are white collar criminals. The Pecci family of Italy also owns the Jewish mafia in the United States through their marriage to the Blumenthal family. The House of Wittelsbach is involved with Zionism, Nazism, Freemasonry, and the Society of Jesus. The Jesuits function as Roman intelligence and infiltrators and use their universities to recruit and train agents for Rome. Jesuit agents dominate leadership positions in the United States military and intelligence and especially in the CIA. The Knights of Columbus are owned by the Casa de Colonna. Christopher Columbus was Pedro Madruga, the Count of Caminha, a relative of the Colonnas who settled in Pontevedra at the time of the Romans. Many Knights of Columbus are police officers, mayors, lawyers, and judges, protecting the Italian mob while targeting free-thinking people. The Knights of Columbus are heavily involved in gang harassment.
Court Jews such as the Rothschild, Warburg, Goldsmith, Oppenheimer, Walton, Sassoon, Kadoorie, Lewis, Javal, Lauder, Sackler and Dreyfus families work through the Roman Curia or royal courtrooms such as Buckingham Palace. The French Rothschilds work for the Black Nobility of Rome and the French House of Orleans. The British Rothschilds work for the British Crown. The Sassoon and Kadoorie families work for the British Crown and oversee banking and business in China and India. The Swiss Rothschilds work for the House of Habsburg and the House of Hesse. The Oppenheimers work for the German House of Wurttemberg and the Cologne Oppenheim branch. the Austrian House of Habsburg granted them titles of nobility. The Warburgs work for the Italian House of Borghese and the German House of Hesse and the House of Hannover. Warburg Pincus had a contract with Unicredit that merged with the Borghese Family's Bank of the Holy Spirit. The Warburgs were Venetian bankers and the Borghese family now hold Venetian titles of nobility. The Warburgs financed the Nazis. The Dreyfus family works for the Dutch House of Orange-Nassau and the French House of Bonaparte. Jewish banking families work for Christian nobles and royalty. These billionaire Jewish bloodlines run many rabbis who run a criminal intelligence network that works with Mossad. The French House of Bonaparte and the Swedish House of Bernadotte control many of the main European companies through their knights of the Order of Seraphim and the Legion of Honor, who are also members of the Round Table of Industrialists of Europe, which it has a great economic influence on the markets. The Wallenbergs run corporations worth hundreds of billions and work for the Swedish House of Bernadotte. The Wallenbergs and the Swedish Crown also work with the Jesuits and the Vatican. The Black Nobility and other royal families have been hiding billions in private banks in Luxembourg, Liechtenstein and Switzerland. The royal families of Luxembourg and Liechtenstein own and run their own national and private banks. Austrian and Eastern European royalty and nobles, such as the Habsburgs, Esterhazys and Schonberg, use private banks in Liechtenstein and also own Israeli and Jewish mafias. The Esterhazy family together with the Lucchesi-Palli family run a faction of the Russian mafia through the mob boss Semion Mogilevich from Budapest. The Torlonia family owns the Fucino Bank in Rome and functions as Vatican bankers and treasurers. The Torlonia family of Rome and the Hohenzollern family of Germany are the main owners and controllers of the Bank for International Settlements which was founded and administered by the Nazis during World War II. The Torlonias are architects of fascism and the Hohenzollerns are architects of Nazism.
The East, Rothschild and Hottinger families are some of the leading Swiss bankers. The Romanian Sturdza family also owns a private bank in Switzerland. The Casanova family of Italy and Spain is one of the leading political families in Switzerland. The East and Savoy families run the Bank for International Settlements, which has a contract with most of the major central banks and is embezzling the wealth of nations through fraudulent loans and contracts. The Savoys live in Switzerland and Prince Lorenz of Austria-Este works at the Gutzwiller bank. The Bank for International Settlements must be investigated and closed. The Gutzwiller family is one of the leading banking families in Switzerland, owning its own private bank and managing 35 other Swiss banks. The Swiss Guard is a military body in charge of the security of the Pope and the Holy See. The ceremonial head of the Swiss Guard is the Pope, sovereign of Vatican City. Italian mafias are Rome's enforcers involved in extortion, money laundering, murder and drug trafficking, and they pay their dues to the Sicilian mafia, which in turn pays them to the black nobility. The mafia channels its earnings and tributes to the Black Nobility through the Vatican charitable foundations and then from the Vatican bank they are transferred to the private accounts of the Swiss Bank. The Savoy’s Genovese crime family specializes in extorting Wall Street. The mafia is rigging professional sports for gambling and they also launder their criminal winnings through the casinos. The Torlonia family owns the Kansas City crime family and shares ownership of the Pittsburgh crime family with the Borghese family of Rome and the Rocco di Torrepadula family of Sicily. The French House of Orleans owns the New Orleans crime family and the Franco-British Beaufort family oversees and owns the Dixie Mafia factions along with other British peers who have French ancestry. Cox's billionaire family is involved in multimedia communications and is part of the owners of the Dixie mob, which is involved in tobacco and ginseng sales as well as arms, drug and human trafficking. The Goldsmith and Sassoon families own Pakistani and Hindu human trafficking networks operating in the United Kingdom. The Imperial House of Brazil, Orleans-Braganza and the Belgian House of Ligne are married and have shares in the Brazilian companies AmBev and Belgian Anheuser-Busch InBev. The House of Orleans-Braganza owns Brazilian drug cartels that are also involved in human trafficking. The Sforza family owns the Stidda Mafia clans operating in the Sforza-Visconti territory in Milan and the Sforza and Visconti families have greater control over the Italian Stock Exchange or the Milan Stock Exchange. Milanese billionaire Silvio Berlusconi works for the Sforza and Visconti families and has a monopoly on Italian media and politics. Berlusconi founded the Forza political party in Italy named after the Sforzas. Some northern Italian nobles such as the Visconti, Borromeo, Este, Gonzaga, Valenti, D’Adda, and Passi di Preposulo families are closely related to billionaire families such as the Rothschilds, Agnellis, Benettons, Armanis, and Ferreros. The Sforza and Visconti families own the Seattle crime family with the Gaetani family as partial owners. The Seattle crime family controls billionaires Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos through blackmail. In 2017, Microsoft and Amazon employees were caught in a sex trafficking scandal.
The Colonna family owns the Knights of Columbus and also owns the Colombo crime family and partially owns the Chicago Outfit along with the Capponi and Roselli families of the Florence Turk. Al Capone was an agent of the House of Capponi and John Roselli was an agent of the Roselli del Turco family. Roselli also worked for the CIA. Colonna means column like Colombo and Colón. The Knights of Columbus infiltrate police departments and work with the Italian mafia. The Massimo and Gaetani families own and run the Gambino crime family and the Philadelphia crime family. The Massimo-Brancaccio family also owns and runs the Magliana or Roman Mafia and the Armed Revolutionary Nuclei, as well as the Graviano de Brancaccio crime family in Palermo, Sicily, which is part of the Corleonisi mafia clan. The Massimo family receives tribute from most of the Italian crime families and even from the Russian mafia and Eastern European mafias. The Massimo de Roccasecca family, who live in London, own the Clerkenwell crime syndicate, also known as the Adams Family or the London A-team and are part owners of the Irish Mafia, including the Rathkeale Rovers. The Borghese family is also the main owner of the Sicilian Mafia and the Mafia Magliana. The Lucchesi-Palli and Pallavicini families own the Lucchese crime family to which the Russian mafia in Brighton Beach pays tribute. The Pallavicini family owns the Armenian mafia that operates in Hollywood and works closely with the Kardashian family. The Romanovs are partial owners of the Russian mafia and have established several residences in the United States. The Giustiniani family oversee the Philadelphia Greek Mafia along with some Greek merchants. Royal and noble families finance organized crime. The Jewish Mafia reorganized into a white collar crime and worked with the black hand of the Italian Mafia. The head of the Jewish mafia in the United States is billionaire Michael Bloomberg. Leon Black is another one of the leading Jewish mobsters in New York. The Jewish Mafia participates in professional sports with white-collar mobsters such as Daniel Gilbert, Robert Kraft, Joshua Harris, Tom Werner, Jerry Reinsdorf, George Kaiser, Peter Guber, Joe Lacob, Mark Cuban, and Micky Arison. The European Union is based on the Treaty of Rome that was signed at the Capitol in Rome. The president of the European Central Bank is Mario Draghi, born in Rome and educated by the Jesuits at the Massimo Institute. Mario Draghi is an undercover relative of the Borghese and Del Drago families. The Erba-Odescalchi family with ancestry from Cernobbio, Italy, runs CERN with the Roman Fabiola Gianotti as CERN Director General that is used to generate pressure in the lower atmosphere in order to oppress society. CERN, HAARP, The Church of Scientology, Chemtrails and electronic devices are being used to covertly oppress society. The US military administers a HAARP electronic harassment system in Puerto Rico that is controlled from Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, which is under the command of Captain David Culpepper. The CIA and the Italian Mafia have a large criminal operation in Cuba. The CIA and Cosa Nostra work closely to this day.
Islamic royal families were named after European royalty in the 19th and 20th centuries and especially after the First World War. Middle Eastern royalty run the oil industry and use their massive wealth to fund globalist agendas that allow them to rule their nations. The house of Saud is worth at least a billion. The House of Thani and the House of Al Khalifa work with the House of Saud and are also wealthy oil traders. Royals from the Middle East run the Muslim Brotherhood and the Five Percent and the Nation of Islam, which are violent mobs of cult and harassment. These organizations need to be investigated and banned. They also own an Arab mob that is based in New Jersey and Detroit. The royal family of Morocco are wealthy merchants and owners of the Abergil crime family of Israel and Morocco. The House of Bourbon and Spanish nobility such as the Osorio, Fitz James, Alvarez (Alba), Pignatelli, Arteaga, Borja, Zuniga, Ruspoli, and Aragon-Escobar families own the majority of the Mexican and South American drug cartels. The Osorio and Borja families own MS-13. The Borgia and Borja families are also partial owners of the Mongels motorcycle gang. The Bourbons own the Gulf Cartel and the Lating Kings. The Ruspolis are partial owners of the Sinaloa Cartel and the Primeiro Comando da Capital in Sao Paulo, where their Matarazzo cousins reside. The FitzJames and Alvarez families own the Los Zetas Cartel. The Álvarez and Osorio families also own the Bandidos motorcycle gang. The House of Bourbons are the founders and owners of Banco Santander. The King of Spain has the official right to the throne as King of Jerusalem.

[SELLING] Codes from 4K Blu-rays (Hitchcock, Parasite, Terminator, Nolan, blockbusters & arthouse)

AIGHT ITS TIME (anonymous secrets part 6)

These are the statistical top 500 movies of all time, according to 23 different websites

Hey everyone, great to be back again. Some of you might remember a similar title from a post I made back in April, where I made a list of the top 250 movies with 13 sources, or a preview of this list I made last month.
I want to emphasize that this is NOT an official ranking nor my personal ranking; it is just a statistical and, personally, interesting look at 500 amazing movies. These rankings reflect the opinions of thousands of critics and millions of people around the world. And I am glad that this list is able to cover a wide range of genres, decades, and countries. So before I get bombarded with "Why isn't X on here?" or "How is X above Y?" comments, I wanted to clear that up.
I sourced my data from Sight & Sound (both critic and director lists), TSPDT, iCheckMovies, 11 domestic websites (Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic, IMDb, Letterboxd, TMDb, Trakt, Blu-Ray, MovieLens, RateYourMusic, Criticker, and Critics Choice), and 9 international audience sites (FilmAffinity, Douban, Naver, MUBI, Filmweb, Kinopoisk, CSFD, Moviemeter, and Senscritique). This balance of domestic/international ratings made the list more well-rounded and internationally representative (sites from Spain, China, Korea, Poland, Russia, Czech Republic, Netherlands, and France).
As for my algorithm, I weighted websites according to both their Alexa ranking and their number of votes compared to other sites. For example, since The Godfather has hundreds of thousands of votes on Letterboxd but only a couple thousand on Metacritic, Letterboxd would be weighted more heavily. After obtaining the weighted averages, I then added the movie's iCheckMovies' favs/checks ratio and TSPDT ranking, if applicable. Regarding TSPDT, I included the top 2000 movies; as an example of my calculations, Rear Window's ranking of #41 would add (2000-41)/2000=0.9795 points to its weighted average. I removed movies that had <7-8K votes on IMDb, as these mostly had low ratings and numbers of votes across different sites as well. For both Sight & Sound lists, I added between 0.5 and 1 point to a movie's score based on its ranking, which I thought was an adequate reflection of how difficult it is to be included on these lists. As examples, a #21 movie would have 0.9 points added while a #63 would have 0.69 points.
So without further ado, the statistical top 500 movies ever made. I separated the scores into overall, critics, domestic, and international columns to make comparisons easier. This list on Letterboxd.

Ranking	Title	Overall Score	Critics	Domestic	International	Year	Director
1	The Godfather	93.89	97.73	90.50	89.36	1972	Francis Ford Coppola
2	The Godfather: Part II	91.93	93.30	89.04	88.06	1974	Francis Ford Coppola
3	Seven Samurai	91.05	97.38	87.63	85.90	1954	Akira Kurosawa
4	12 Angry Men	90.45	95.45	88.74	88.62	1957	Sidney Lumet
5	City Lights	89.94	96.75	85.67	85.93	1931	Charlie Chaplin
6	The Good, the Bad and the Ugly	89.45	91.20	87.81	86.59	1966	Sergio Leone
7	The Shawshank Redemption	89.41	82.95	89.49	89.18	1994	Frank Darabont
8	Psycho	89.29	95.23	85.70	85.01	1960	Alfred Hitchcock
9	Modern Times	89.28	95.55	85.21	85.37	1936	Charlie Chaplin
10	Schindler's List	89.08	93.80	87.22	87.29	1993	Steven Spielberg
11	Pulp Fiction	88.85	92.60	87.69	86.42	1994	Quentin Tarantino
12	Rear Window	88.63	97.65	85.40	83.33	1954	Alfred Hitchcock
13	One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest	88.55	87.38	86.28	86.97	1975	Miloš Forman
14	Apocalypse Now	88.54	93.85	85.24	83.48	1979	Francis Ford Coppola
15	Tokyo Story	88.49	98.30	85.16	83.76	1953	Yasujirō Ozu
16	Spirited Away	88.34	93.78	86.80	85.91	2001	Hayao Miyazaki
17	GoodFellas	88.03	91.48	87.00	84.03	1990	Martin Scorsese
18	Vertigo	88.02	95.60	84.05	82.76	1958	Alfred Hitchcock
19	Singin' in the Rain	88.01	97.65	83.95	83.13	1952	Gene Kelly, Stanley Donen
20	Sunset Boulevard	88.00	95.45	85.44	84.22	1950	Billy Wilder
21	Citizen Kane	87.83	99.03	83.06	82.22	1941	Orson Welles
22	Harakiri	87.79	85.83	88.00	86.29	1962	Masaki Kobayashi
23	Rashomon	87.74	96.55	83.52	82.73	1950	Akira Kurosawa
24	Once Upon a Time in the West	87.71	86.65	85.48	84.62	1968	Sergio Leone
25	Fanny and Alexander	87.54	97.30	83.15	83.00	1982	Ingmar Bergman
26	The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King	87.40	92.59	86.06	85.38	2003	Peter Jackson
27	Andrei Rublev	87.39	91.90	83.80	83.94	1966	Andrei Tarkovsky
28	The Passion of Joan of Arc	87.39	94.65	83.88	83.57	1928	Carl Theodor Dreyer
29	Sherlock Jr.	87.36	96.45	83.64	85.60	1924	Buster Keaton
30	Bicycle Thieves	87.35	94.70	83.91	83.46	1948	Vittorio De Sica
31	Casablanca	87.35	98.00	85.25	82.62	1942	Michael Curtiz
32	Some Like It Hot	87.28	95.30	82.11	83.73	1959	Billy Wilder
33	Persona	87.22	88.20	84.28	83.07	1966	Ingmar Bergman
34	Children of Paradise	87.21	95.33	84.81	83.27	1945	Marcel Carné
35	Taxi Driver	87.14	93.88	83.60	82.06	1976	Martin Scorsese
36	The Dark Knight	87.08	88.81	86.96	84.80	2008	Christopher Nolan
37	Metropolis	87.03	96.00	82.92	84.01	1927	Fritz Lang
38	Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans	87.02	93.95	82.23	84.02	1927	F. W. Murnau
39	Stalker	87.02	92.30	83.86	83.29	1979	Andrei Tarkovsky
40	Pather Panchali	86.96	94.35	84.40	82.80	1955	Satyajit Ray
41	Lawrence of Arabia	86.95	97.65	83.76	81.49	1962	David Lean
42	M	86.91	96.20	84.34	82.92	1931	Fritz Lang
43	Ordet	86.82	98.10	83.08	82.55	1955	Carl Theodor Dreyer
44	It's a Wonderful Life	86.77	90.45	85.17	84.90	1946	Frank Capra
45	Satantango	86.76	90.45	84.58	84.21	1994	Béla Tarr
46	Parasite	86.72	96.34	86.55	83.15	2019	Bong Joon-ho
47	The 400 Blows	86.70	96.70	83.14	82.60	1959	François Truffaut
48	Ikiru	86.56	93.80	85.48	84.29	1952	Akira Kurosawa
49	Mirror	86.50	95.60	82.75	82.34	1975	Andrei Tarkovsky
50	Come and See	86.50	90.50	85.22	83.13	1985	Elem Klimov
51	The Apartment	86.48	92.00	84.09	82.99	1960	Billy Wilder
52	The General	86.45	91.45	82.59	83.87	1926	Buster Keaton, Clyde Bruckman
53	Grave of the Fireflies	86.43	95.13	85.85	82.97	1988	Isao Takahata
54	Le Trou	86.41	89.95	85.46	85.14	1960	Jacques Becker
55	The Battle of Algiers	86.37	95.40	82.64	81.24	1966	Gillo Pontecorvo
56	A Man Escaped	86.34	96.50	83.67	82.03	1956	Robert Bresson
57	Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb	86.34	95.85	84.37	83.03	1964	Stanley Kubrick
58	Paths of Glory	86.25	92.30	84.97	84.48	1957	Stanley Kubrick
59	The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring	86.24	88.75	85.61	84.31	2001	Peter Jackson
60	All About Eve	86.23	96.95	83.69	83.20	1950	Joseph L. Mankiewicz
61	Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back	86.21	86.93	87.05	83.29	1980	Irvin Kershner
62	High and Low	86.16	86.55	86.08	84.26	1963	Akira Kurosawa
63	The Great Dictator	86.15	91.10	84.25	85.03	1940	Charlie Chaplin
64	The Silence of the Lambs	86.12	88.68	85.29	84.17	1991	Jonathan Demme
65	2001: A Space Odyssey	86.06	88.35	82.93	81.54	1968	Stanley Kubrick
66	North by Northwest	86.03	96.38	83.17	81.74	1959	Alfred Hitchcock
67	Double Indemnity	85.91	94.38	83.84	83.12	1944	Billy Wilder
68	Ugetsu	85.91	97.25	82.69	81.91	1953	Kenji Mizoguchi
69	Woman in the Dunes	85.91	93.95	84.71	83.77	1964	Hiroshi Teshigahara
70	Sansho the Bailiff	85.88	95.50	84.24	82.21	1954	Kenji Mizoguchi
71	Once Upon a Time in America	85.87	86.10	83.84	85.53	1984	Sergio Leone
72	City of God	85.86	84.08	86.39	84.00	2002	Fernando Meirelles, Kátia Lund
73	Late Spring	85.81	94.75	83.74	82.27	1949	Yasujirō Ozu
74	Barry Lyndon	85.80	87.95	82.44	82.30	1975	Stanley Kubrick
75	The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers	85.78	88.78	85.00	84.29	2002	Peter Jackson
76	Raging Bull	85.77	90.48	82.01	81.80	1980	Martin Scorsese
77	Chinatown	85.72	94.08	83.32	80.69	1974	Roman Polanski
78	Alien	85.69	91.73	84.76	82.62	1979	Ridley Scott
79	Ran	85.68	94.70	83.93	82.52	1985	Akira Kurosawa
80	The Seventh Seal	85.67	92.10	83.52	82.13	1957	Ingmar Bergman
81	The Kid	85.61	92.85	82.91	84.94	1921	Charlie Chaplin
82	Wild Strawberries	85.51	90.05	83.38	82.24	1957	Ingmar Bergman
83	A Brighter Summer Day	85.50	93.38	84.07	81.01	1991	Edward Yang
84	8½	85.48	91.20	82.59	81.09	1963	Federico Fellini
85	The Pianist	85.38	88.69	83.31	84.80	2002	Roman Polanski
86	The World of Apu	85.38	93.20	84.38	83.09	1959	Satyajit Ray
87	La Dolce Vita	85.37	94.38	81.40	80.48	1960	Federico Fellini
88	Star Wars	85.33	90.03	85.22	81.92	1977	George Lucas
89	The Best of Youth	85.31	88.78	85.31	83.64	2003	Marco Tullio Giordana
90	The Gold Rush	85.29	94.55	81.93	83.59	1925	Charlie Chaplin
91	The Third Man	85.26	96.50	82.91	80.21	1949	Carol Reed
92	The Treasure of the Sierra Madre	85.20	96.68	82.77	81.81	1948	John Huston
93	I Am Cuba	85.18	93.60	82.00	83.44	1964	Mikhail Kalatozov
94	The Lives of Others	85.14	89.03	84.12	82.73	2006	Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
95	Witness for the Prosecution	85.13	92.65	83.67	84.99	1957	Billy Wilder
96	Touch of Evil	85.11	95.70	81.36	79.65	1958	Orson Welles
97	WALL-E	85.10	92.09	82.82	82.64	2008	Andrew Stanton
98	Scenes from a Marriage	85.02	86.85	84.80	83.06	1974	Ingmar Bergman
99	To Be or Not to Be	84.99	89.58	82.52	83.39	1942	Ernst Lubitsch
100	A Separation	84.92	94.24	83.34	80.90	2011	Asghar Farhadi
101	The Night of the Hunter	84.91	96.93	81.17	79.06	1955	Charles Laughton
102	Three Colors: Red	84.87	96.78	83.32	80.78	1994	Krzysztof Kieślowski
103	Yojimbo	84.87	91.55	83.85	82.99	1961	Akira Kurosawa
104	Back to the Future	84.85	89.38	84.47	81.94	1985	Robert Zemeckis
105	My Neighbor Totoro	84.84	87.53	83.44	83.17	1988	Hayao Miyazaki
106	In the Mood for Love	84.84	83.87	82.55	81.20	2000	Wong Kar-wai
107	Princess Mononoke	84.83	81.18	85.02	84.24	1999	Hayao Miyazaki
108	Saving Private Ryan	84.82	90.35	83.94	82.50	1998	Steven Spielberg
109	Cinema Paradiso	84.78	82.30	84.73	83.43	1988	Giuseppe Tornatore
110	La Jetée	84.75	89.25	83.27	81.80	1962	Chris Marker
111	The Wages of Fear	84.71	94.60	82.99	82.80	1953	Henri-Georges Clouzot
112	Das Boot	84.68	90.13	83.62	82.71	1981	Wolfgang Petersen
113	Fight Club	84.65	71.18	86.39	84.95	1999	David Fincher
114	Nights of Cabiria	84.64	92.25	82.72	83.13	1957	Federico Fellini
115	La Strada	84.61	92.60	80.79	82.78	1954	Federico Fellini
116	Amadeus	84.53	89.55	82.88	82.59	1984	Miloš Forman
117	Forrest Gump	84.50	76.90	83.06	86.12	1994	Robert Zemeckis
118	Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse	84.49	90.41	85.03	81.69	2018	Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman, Bob Persichetti
119	The Lion King	84.45	88.28	77.22	84.09	1994	Rob Minkoff, Roger Allers
120	Inception	84.43	82.07	84.18	84.17	2010	Christopher Nolan
121	Whiplash	84.42	89.53	84.87	81.96	2014	Damien Chazelle
122	The Shop Around the Corner	84.40	94.43	80.85	82.37	1940	Ernst Lubitsch
123	Rififi	84.38	92.00	83.03	81.58	1955	Jules Dassin
124	Umberto D.	84.38	92.63	82.20	81.75	1952	Vittorio De Sica
125	Army of Shadows	84.37	95.30	82.98	80.50	1969	Jean-Pierre Melville
126	Blade Runner	84.34	85.85	82.57	80.29	1982	Ridley Scott
127	Samurai Rebellion	84.33	89.05	82.85	83.84	1967	Masaki Kobayashi
128	Close-Up	84.31	85.70	81.99	80.69	1990	Abbas Kiarostami
129	The Circus	84.29	90.35	81.69	83.14	1928	Charlie Chaplin
130	Raiders of the Lost Ark	84.19	89.33	84.31	80.57	1981	Steven Spielberg
131	Grand Illusion	84.18	95.35	81.85	79.78	1937	Jean Renoir
132	A Clockwork Orange	84.18	82.78	82.37	82.51	1971	Stanley Kubrick
133	Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind	84.07	89.37	83.36	80.57	2004	Michel Gondry
134	A Woman Under the Influence	84.01	87.40	82.51	80.40	1974	John Cassavetes
135	The Cranes Are Flying	84.00	89.30	82.76	82.40	1957	Mikhail Kalatozov
136	Yi Yi	83.91	91.25	82.48	79.64	2000	Edward Yang
137	To Kill a Mockingbird	83.91	89.13	81.98	82.20	1962	Robert Mulligan
138	The Matrix	83.90	77.78	84.54	83.06	1999	Wachowski Sisters
139	The Sting	83.90	85.73	82.71	83.36	1973	George Roy Hill
140	The Mother and the Whore	83.87	94.55	81.24	79.82	1973	Jean Eustache
141	Se7en	83.86	72.15	84.91	84.48	1995	David Fincher
142	Early Summer	83.85	94.45	82.19	82.01	1951	Yasujirō Ozu
143	Werckmeister Harmonies	83.80	91.73	80.89	81.93	2000	Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky
144	Coco	83.80	86.21	82.73	83.66	2017	Adrian Molina, Lee Unkrich
145	Toy Story	83.76	95.03	82.30	80.15	1995	John Lasseter
146	It Happened One Night	83.76	90.83	81.46	81.76	1934	Frank Capra
147	Reservoir Dogs	83.74	84.68	83.12	81.99	1992	Quentin Tarantino
148	Unforgiven	83.73	88.55	82.24	81.59	1992	Clint Eastwood
149	The Deer Hunter	83.73	87.68	80.57	82.06	1978	Michael Cimino
150	The Young and the Damned	83.72	87.10	82.58	80.82	1950	Luis Buñuel
151	The Best Years of Our Lives	83.68	92.63	81.19	81.20	1946	William Wyler
152	The Leopard	83.66	97.30	79.56	79.57	1963	Luchino Visconti
153	Time of the Gypsies	83.65	86.05	83.31	82.29	1988	Emir Kusturica
154	Ali: Fear Eats the Soul	83.61	96.70	80.51	79.97	1974	Rainer Werner Fassbinder
155	Raise the Red Lantern	83.57	90.25	82.37	81.81	1991	Zhang Yimou
156	Terminator 2: Judgment Day	83.57	82.00	84.11	81.83	1991	James Cameron
157	The Shining	83.55	75.35	84.08	81.80	1980	Stanley Kubrick
158	Viridiana	83.54	92.95	80.68	80.81	1961	Luis Buñuel
159	Portrait of a Lady on Fire	83.52	93.59	83.08	80.02	2019	Céline Sciamma
160	Greed	83.51	97.05	80.65	80.64	1924	Erich von Stroheim
161	Gone with the Wind	83.48	92.90	80.01	81.68	1939	Victor Fleming
162	There Will Be Blood	83.48	89.65	81.91	79.02	2007	Paul Thomas Anderson
163	L.A. Confidential	83.46	91.63	82.08	80.81	1997	Curtis Hanson
164	Paris, Texas	83.46	83.95	82.89	81.66	1984	Wim Wenders
165	Throne of Blood	83.45	91.30	82.18	81.49	1957	Akira Kurosawa
166	Toy Story 3	83.43	93.55	81.61	80.32	2010	Lee Unkrich
167	Memento	83.43	85.20	83.78	80.76	2000	Christopher Nolan
168	On the Waterfront	83.37	93.00	82.23	79.52	1954	Elia Kazan
169	Trip to the Moon	83.37	94.70	79.96	82.83	1902	Georges Méliès
170	The Rules of the Game	83.33	96.55	80.45	78.02	1939	Jean Renoir
171	Red Beard	83.32	74.15	83.41	83.27	1965	Akira Kurosawa
172	The Grapes of Wrath	83.32	95.45	80.42	80.34	1940	John Ford
173	Au Hasard Balthazar	83.29	98.08	77.93	77.54	1966	Robert Bresson
174	Autumn Sonata	83.29	84.85	83.09	82.66	1978	Ingmar Bergman
175	Annie Hall	83.28	93.18	80.58	80.58	1977	Woody Allen
176	The Conformist	83.27	96.68	79.92	78.58	1970	Bernardo Bertolucci
177	Rocco and His Brothers	83.24	84.73	81.95	81.68	1960	Luchino Visconti
178	Dersu Uzala	83.23	74.75	82.35	83.37	1975	Akira Kurosawa
179	Cool Hand Luke	83.21	93.05	82.22	79.83	1967	Stuart Rosenberg
180	Monty Python and the Holy Grail	83.18	91.98	82.96	79.30	1975	Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones
181	Le Samouraï	83.18	92.35	82.45	79.40	1967	Jean-Pierre Melville
182	Aliens	83.18	88.73	83.29	79.61	1986	James Cameron
183	PlayTime	83.16	93.50	80.22	78.80	1967	Jacques Tati
184	The Bridge on the River Kwai	83.14	90.58	81.93	80.24	1957	David Lean
185	The Red Shoes	83.13	93.15	82.82	79.96	1948	Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
186	American Beauty	83.10	87.15	81.93	81.13	1999	Sam Mendes
187	To Live	83.10	84.00	82.16	82.46	1994	Zhang Yimou
188	Battleship Potemkin	83.10	95.85	77.81	80.41	1925	Sergei Eisenstein
189	Day of Wrath	83.09	93.40	81.07	81.29	1943	Carl Theodor Dreyer
190	All Quiet on the Western Front	83.07	92.85	80.05	81.48	1930	Lewis Milestone
191	It's Such a Beautiful Day	83.07	91.25	83.62	79.77	2012	Don Hertzfeldt
192	Full Metal Jacket	83.06	81.53	82.21	82.54	1987	Stanley Kubrick
193	The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari	83.05	96.40	79.84	81.83	1920	Robert Wiene
194	Kes	83.03	97.80	79.59	80.55	1969	Ken Loach
195	The Usual Suspects	83.02	80.23	84.08	81.48	1995	Bryan Singer
196	The Cameraman	83.00	93.90	80.77	81.57	1928	Edward Segdwick, Buster Keaton
197	Aparajito	83.00	90.90	81.81	81.20	1956	Satyajit Ray
198	The Elephant Man	83.00	83.00	82.10	81.87	1980	David Lynch
199	Rebecca	82.98	90.08	81.08	80.93	1940	Alfred Hitchcock
200	Make Way for Tomorrow	82.97	95.80	81.72	80.14	1937	Leo McCarey
201	The Great Escape	82.97	87.68	82.29	80.66	1963	John Sturges
202	Your Name	82.97	84.55	84.07	81.29	2016	Makoto Shinkai
203	Limelight	82.92	88.00	79.85	83.02	1952	Charlie Chaplin
204	Breathless	82.92	91.95	78.88	79.10	1960	Jean-Luc Godard
205	Underground	82.91	80.75	81.26	82.64	1995	Emir Kusturica
206	The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance	82.88	91.90	81.08	79.53	1962	John Ford
207	Aguirre: The Wrath of God	82.87	94.55	80.46	78.62	1972	Werner Herzog
208	Oldboy	82.86	78.98	84.00	81.27	2003	Park Chan-wook
209	Up	82.84	90.28	81.32	80.86	2009	Pete Docter
210	Anatomy of a Murder	82.84	94.00	80.57	80.02	1959	Otto Preminger
211	The Wild Bunch	82.84	90.35	79.45	80.12	1969	Sam Peckinpah
212	The Hunt	82.75	82.08	82.79	82.62	2012	Thomas Vinterberg
213	Il Sorpasso	82.74	95.75	82.84	79.57	1962	Dino Risi
214	The Last Laugh	82.74	95.25	79.47	81.61	1924	F. W. Murnau
215	A Streetcar Named Desire	82.73	94.60	79.89	80.26	1951	Elia Kazan
216	Life Is Beautiful	82.73	68.45	83.60	85.57	1997	Roberto Benigni
217	A Short Film About Love	82.71	87.10	81.90	81.89	1988	Krzysztof Kieślowski
218	The Shop on Main Street	82.71	94.45	82.15	80.43	1965	Ján Kadár, Elmar Klos
219	Rio Bravo	82.71	92.10	80.46	79.80	1959	Howard Hawks
220	Roman Holiday	82.70	84.55	80.74	82.42	1953	William Wyler
221	Ivan's Childhood	82.69	94.80	81.25	80.37	1962	Andrei Tarkovsky
222	The Exterminating Angel	82.68	91.10	81.66	80.17	1962	Luis Buñuel
223	Trainspotting	82.68	85.20	81.57	81.21	1996	Danny Boyle
224	The Last Picture Show	82.67	94.15	79.90	79.56	1971	Peter Bogdanovich
225	The Truman Show	82.64	89.63	79.70	82.15	1998	Peter Weir
226	Memories of Murder	82.64	82.88	82.68	80.94	2003	Bong Joon-ho
227	Faust	82.62	89.70	80.23	81.94	1926	F. W. Murnau
228	Sans Soleil	82.62	83.90	79.45	80.51	1983	Chris Marker
229	Song of the Sea	82.57	87.63	80.59	82.23	2014	Tomm Moore
230	Léon: The Professional	82.55	67.38	84.05	84.07	1994	Luc Besson
231	Fargo	82.54	87.45	82.36	79.19	1996	Coen Brothers
232	Solaris	82.54	89.95	80.91	79.69	1972	Andrei Tarkovsky
233	Sweet Smell of Success	82.52	96.53	80.81	77.62	1957	Alexander Mackendrick
234	For a Few Dollars More	82.52	79.28	82.38	83.15	1965	Sergio Leone
235	White Heat	82.51	90.65	80.77	81.24	1949	Raoul Walsh
236	Brief Encounter	82.50	88.35	80.81	81.03	1945	David Lean
237	Wings of Desire	82.49	85.70	81.30	80.42	1987	Wim Wenders
238	Diabolique	82.47	90.70	81.27	80.73	1955	Henri-Georges Clouzot
239	An Autumn Afternoon	82.45	91.95	81.68	79.85	1962	Yasujirō Ozu
240	The Tale of the Princess Kaguya	82.44	90.63	81.16	80.43	2013	Isao Takahata
241	Amarcord	82.41	85.95	79.26	80.73	1973	Federico Fellini
242	Heat	82.40	79.08	82.03	81.73	1995	Michael Mann
243	L'Atalante	82.40	95.60	78.32	78.10	1934	Jean Vigo
244	Django Unchained	82.39	83.44	82.23	81.94	2012	Quentin Tarantino
245	Jeanne Dielman, 23 Commerce Quay, 1080 Brussels	82.38	95.50	78.73	79.69	1975	Chantal Akerman
246	Kind Hearts and Coronets	82.38	95.60	80.80	79.72	1949	Robert Hamer
247	Dog Day Afternoon	82.37	88.40	81.11	79.80	1975	Sidney Lumet
248	Forbidden Games	82.37	93.75	80.36	80.99	1952	René Clément
249	The Crowd	82.35	93.35	79.21	81.23	1928	King Vidor
250	Notorious	82.35	96.78	79.96	78.21	1946	Alfred Hitchcock
251	Mary and Max	82.35	88.05	80.95	82.42	2009	Adam Elliot
252	Persepolis	82.34	88.95	80.09	80.77	2007	Marjane Satrapi, Vincent Paronnaud
253	Howl's Moving Castle	82.33	78.71	82.63	83.10	2004	Hayao Miyazaki
254	Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind	82.33	85.10	81.54	82.03	1984	Hayao Miyazaki
255	Safety Last!	82.33	92.25	80.95	81.10	1923	Fred C. Newmeyer, Sam Taylor
256	Rosemary's Baby	82.32	94.78	79.99	78.69	1968	Roman Polanski
257	L'Avventura	82.32	92.10	79.08	78.03	1960	Michelangelo Antonioni
258	The Searchers	82.32	93.90	78.16	76.66	1956	John Ford
259	La Haine	82.30	90.60	82.38	79.56	1995	Mathieu Kassovitz
260	Three Colors: Blue	82.30	88.28	81.55	79.23	1993	Krzysztof Kieślowski
261	Chungking Express	82.30	79.95	82.29	80.73	1994	Wong Kar-wai
262	Inside Out	82.29	93.66	80.27	79.85	2015	Pete Docter
263	Where is the Friend's Home?	82.28	89.25	81.22	80.21	1987	Abbas Kiarostami
264	Cries and Whispers	82.27	85.45	81.02	80.80	1972	Ingmar Bergman
265	Napoleon	82.22	93.25	81.89	78.99	1927	Abel Gance
266	Paper Moon	82.19	83.08	81.37	81.29	1973	Peter Bogdanovich
267	The Spirit of the Beehive	82.17	89.83	79.31	78.91	1973	Víctor Erice
268	A Special Day	82.16	90.20	81.11	81.25	1977	Ettore Scola
269	Nostalghia	82.15	83.00	80.91	81.23	1983	Andrei Tarkovsky
270	Network	82.13	85.45	82.36	79.08	1976	Sidney Lumet
271	L'Eclisse	82.11	84.70	79.78	78.81	1962	Michelangelo Antonioni
272	Mr. Smith Goes to Washington	82.09	80.83	81.78	81.15	1939	Frank Capra
273	Sanjuro	82.09	91.90	81.67	80.85	1962	Akira Kurosawa
274	Badlands	82.06	93.38	79.77	77.21	1973	Terrence Malick
275	Vivre Sa Vie	82.06	85.20	80.12	79.83	1962	Jean-Luc Godard
276	Nobody Knows	82.06	87.18	81.12	81.15	2004	Hirokazu Koreeda
277	No Country for Old Men	82.05	90.68	80.56	78.47	2007	Coen Brothers
278	Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring	82.05	86.05	80.76	80.62	2003	Kim Ki-duk
279	La Notte	82.04	78.35	81.45	81.11	1961	Michelangelo Antonioni
280	The Celebration	82.04	84.23	81.34	80.08	1998	Thomas Vinterberg
281	In the Name of the Father	82.04	84.90	81.14	81.85	1993	Jim Sheridan
282	I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang	82.02	89.55	80.18	81.56	1932	Mervyn LeRoy
283	Shoplifters	82.01	92.39	80.60	79.31	2018	Hirokazu Koreeda
284	Finding Nemo	82.01	92.60	80.13	78.76	2003	Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich
285	Z	81.98	87.55	82.21	79.59	1969	Costa-Gavras
286	The Phantom Carriage	81.96	95.00	80.01	80.32	1921	Victor Sjöström
287	Manhattan	81.95	86.23	80.50	79.81	1979	Woody Allen
288	Rome, Open City	81.94	95.40	80.45	79.27	1945	Robert Rossellini
289	Children of Heaven	81.93	80.15	81.24	82.01	1997	Majid Majidi
290	The Green Mile	81.92	71.93	82.95	84.38	1999	Frank Darabont
291	The Iron Giant	81.91	86.61	80.88	79.95	1999	Brad Bird
292	The Sacrifice	81.90	80.30	80.47	81.37	1986	Andrei Tarkovsky
293	The Philadelphia Story	81.90	94.95	79.79	77.86	1940	George Cukor
294	The Twilight Samurai	81.90	86.10	81.07	81.13	2002	Yôji Yamada
295	Before Sunset	81.88	87.79	81.42	78.41	2004	Richard Linklater
296	Before Sunrise	81.86	84.40	82.24	79.44	1995	Richard Linklater
297	Castle in the Sky	81.85	81.63	81.49	82.06	1986	Hayao Miyazaki
298	The Departed	81.84	86.92	82.82	79.04	2006	Martin Scorsese
299	Brazil	81.83	90.23	80.61	78.37	1985	Terry Gilliam
300	Incendies	81.81	83.85	81.88	80.74	2011	Denis Villenueve
301	The Maltese Falcon	81.81	95.65	80.24	77.28	1941	John Huston
302	The Wizard of Oz	81.77	98.03	79.38	77.17	1939	Victor Fleming
303	Le Cercle Rouge	81.76	90.03	80.81	78.54	1970	Jean-Pierre Melville
304	Monsieur Verdoux	81.76	89.80	78.55	81.34	1947	Charlie Chaplin
305	The Return	81.72	84.85	80.02	80.96	2003	Andrey Zvyagintsev
306	Secrets & Lies	81.71	90.73	80.29	78.66	1996	Mike Leigh
307	The Hidden Fortress	81.70	91.25	80.79	80.72	1958	Akira Kurosawa
308	Pan's Labyrinth	81.69	92.59	81.60	76.08	2006	Guillermo del Toro
309	Amélie	81.69	79.64	81.96	80.27	2004	Jean-Pierre Jeunet
310	Ben-Hur	81.67	86.93	79.86	80.22	1959	William Wyler
311	Fitzcarraldo	81.67	75.80	81.06	81.21	1982	Werner Herzog
312	American History X	81.63	70.13	83.58	83.00	1998	Tony Kaye
313	Ace in the Hole	81.62	79.10	80.88	81.36	1951	Billy Wilder
314	Capernaum	81.62	81.83	80.52	82.18	2018	Nadine Labaki
315	Still Walking	81.61	90.30	80.92	79.48	2008	Hirokazu Koreeda
316	All About My Mother	81.61	88.77	79.56	78.80	1999	Pedro Almodóvar
317	The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie	81.60	92.28	78.82	78.83	1972	Luis Buñuel
318	Platoon	81.60	88.70	79.52	80.45	1986	Oliver Stone
319	Farewell My Concubine	81.60	80.50	80.49	81.04	1993	Chen Kaige
320	Letter from an Unknown Woman	81.59	93.10	79.84	79.31	1948	Max Ophüls
321	The Grand Budapest Hotel	81.58	87.64	80.72	79.19	2014	Wes Anderson
322	The Virgin Spring	81.58	82.45	80.70	80.66	1960	Ingmar Bergman
323	The Red Balloon	81.57	90.20	79.93	80.30	1956	Albert Lamorisse
324	Stagecoach	81.57	94.58	77.69	78.94	1939	John Ford
325	Mulholland Drive	81.56	80.61	79.60	77.87	2001	David Lynch
326	A Matter of Life and Death	81.49	92.60	81.91	76.27	1946	Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
327	High Noon	81.48	90.58	79.27	78.94	1952	Fred Zinnemann
328	Orpheus	81.48	96.20	79.88	78.90	1950	Jean Cocteau
329	Life of Brian	81.47	82.98	80.78	79.81	1979	Terry Jones
330	Casino	81.46	74.23	81.54	81.75	1995	Martin Scorsese
331	Kagemusha	81.44	82.93	80.01	80.43	1980	Akira Kurosawa
332	Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid	81.43	76.08	80.53	81.85	1969	George Roy Hill
333	In a Lonely Place	81.43	92.45	80.42	78.77	1950	Nicholas Ray
334	Scarface	81.43	71.30	81.97	82.18	1983	Brian De Palma
335	A Short Film About Killing	81.42	87.35	79.89	80.38	1988	Krzysztof Kieślowski
336	Beauty and the Beast	81.41	92.05	79.28	78.32	1946	Jean Cocteau
337	The Hustler	81.39	92.45	80.43	78.97	1961	Robert Rossen
338	Cléo from 5 to 7	81.38	91.65	80.03	79.11	1962	Agnès Varda
339	Fireworks	81.37	90.15	80.01	79.63	1997	Takeshi Kitano
340	Room	81.36	88.41	80.43	79.48	2015	Lenny Abrahamson
341	Mad Max: Fury Road	81.35	90.39	79.76	77.80	2015	George Miller
342	Steamboat Bill, Jr.	81.32	95.75	79.30	79.23	1928	Charles Reisner, Buster Keaton
343	Judgment at Nuremberg	81.31	71.58	82.24	83.03	1961	Stanley Kramer
344	The Straight Story	81.30	87.15	79.64	79.88	1999	David Lynch
345	Meshes of the Afternoon	81.29	96.25	77.91	79.99	1943	Maya Deren, Alexandr Hackenschmied
346	Alice in the Cities	81.28	86.70	79.60	80.20	1974	Wim Wenders
347	Akira	81.28	80.90	81.12	79.98	1988	Katsuhiro Otomo
348	Good Will Hunting	81.27	79.38	81.97	81.05	1997	Gus Van Sant
349	The Miracle Worker	81.25	85.15	78.88	81.55	1962	Arthur Penn
350	Talk to Her	81.25	87.48	79.33	78.71	2002	Pedro Almodóvar
351	The Graduate	81.24	85.58	78.91	79.97	1967	Mike Nichols
352	Beauty and the Beast	81.22	92.28	79.20	78.77	1991	Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise
353	The Heiress	81.19	94.45	80.20	79.76	1949	William Wyler
354	Fantasia	81.18	93.03	76.76	79.95	1940	Samuel Armstrong, James Algar
355	Au Revoir les Enfants	81.18	94.25	80.14	78.92	1987	Louis Malle
356	Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri	81.18	88.62	79.36	79.90	2017	Martin McDonagh
357	Inglourious Basterds	81.17	79.05	81.06	80.51	2009	Quentin Tarantino
358	Elevator to the Gallows	81.16	90.45	79.31	78.56	1958	Louis Malle
359	Gladiator	81.16	75.39	81.69	81.52	2000	Ridley Scott
360	Through a Glass Darkly	81.15	93.60	81.11	78.86	1961	Ingmar Bergman
361	Million Dollar Baby	81.15	87.41	77.43	80.72	2004	Clint Eastwood
362	Days of Heaven	81.15	90.75	80.19	77.08	1978	Terrence Malick
363	Do the Right Thing	81.15	90.78	80.26	77.04	1989	Spike Lee
364	Out of the Past	81.14	91.40	80.73	77.92	1947	Jacques Tourneur
365	Strangers on a Train	81.11	93.30	80.01	78.68	1951	Alfred Hitchcock
366	Blue Velvet	81.11	83.48	78.98	77.09	1986	David Lynch
367	That Obscure Object of Desire	81.09	89.40	79.59	78.11	1977	Luis Buñuel
368	What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?	81.08	80.23	80.74	80.75	1962	Robert Aldrich
369	My Night at Maud's	81.07	88.15	79.51	79.42	1969	Éric Rohmer
370	The Earrings of Madame de…	81.07	92.15	80.36	77.05	1953	Max Ophüls
371	The Conversation	81.04	89.23	80.03	77.44	1974	Francis Ford Coppola
372	The Killing	81.03	91.50	79.51	79.21	1956	Stanley Kubrick
373	The Servant	81.03	87.83	79.45	78.57	1963	Joseph Losey
374	The Intouchables	81.03	67.15	82.13	84.70	2011	Olivier Nakache, Éric Toledano
375	The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp	81.01	94.15	81.57	75.44	1943	Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
376	Jaws	81.01	90.98	79.91	75.70	1975	Steven Spielberg
377	Winter Light	81.01	73.55	81.51	79.95	1963	Ingmar Bergman
378	Love Exposure	81.01	80.88	82.23	79.55	2008	Sion Sono
379	Hiroshima Mon Amour	81.00	92.95	80.13	77.99	1959	Alain Resnais
380	Day for Night	80.98	92.55	80.21	78.27	1973	François Truffaut
381	Ratatouille	80.97	92.73	78.72	78.68	2007	Brad Bird
382	Ghost in the Shell	80.97	81.43	79.98	81.15	1995	Mamoru Oshii
383	Germany Year Zero	80.95	92.00	77.80	80.03	1948	Roberto Rossellini
384	Spotlight	80.93	93.00	79.75	77.55	2015	Tom McCarthy
385	Die Hard	80.93	79.58	81.11	79.43	1988	John McTiernan
386	Laura	80.93	93.80	79.70	78.47	1944	Otto Preminger
387	Sleuth	80.93	89.95	79.16	80.87	1972	Joseph L. Mankiewicz
388	The Diving Bell and the Butterfly	80.92	88.64	79.69	77.84	2007	Julian Schnabel
389	The Handmaiden	80.92	85.99	82.55	77.41	2016	Park Chan-wook
390	Stand by Me	80.90	80.20	81.28	79.54	1986	Rob Reiner
391	Wolf Children	80.90	80.15	80.40	81.27	2012	Mamoru Hosoda
392	Marriage Story	80.88	92.86	79.40	77.75	2019	Noam Baumbach
393	Shoeshine	80.87	93.75	79.02	79.38	1946	Vittorio De Sica
394	Freaks	80.85	84.70	77.66	80.31	1932	Tod Browning
395	Nosferatu	80.85	93.75	78.29	79.14	1922	F. W. Murnau
396	Dial M for Murder	80.84	77.60	81.17	81.31	1954	Alfred Hitchcock
397	Amour	80.81	90.90	77.74	78.19	2012	Michael Haneke
398	12 Years a Slave	80.80	94.00	79.74	76.94	2013	Steve McQueen
399	The Nightmare Before Christmas	80.77	85.38	79.26	79.69	1993	Henry Selick
400	Cabaret	80.77	84.68	77.34	80.69	1972	Bob Fosse
401	Central Station	80.77	83.28	80.91	78.52	1998	Walter Salles
402	Landscape in the Mist	80.74	71.35	80.76	80.28	1988	Theo Angelopoulos
403	1917	80.73	84.37	80.65	79.33	2019	Sam Mendes
404	Intolerance: Love's Struggle Throughout the Ages	80.71	93.98	75.69	78.01	1916	D. W. Griffith
405	Call Me by Your Name	80.71	91.25	79.43	77.87	2017	Luca Guadagnino
406	Midnight Cowboy	80.71	82.98	79.10	79.50	1969	John Schlesinger
407	Shadow of a Doubt	80.70	94.38	79.31	76.04	1943	Alfred Hitchcock
408	Interstellar	80.70	74.16	81.30	82.25	2014	Christopher Nolan
409	Hannah and Her Sisters	80.69	88.95	79.15	77.98	1986	Woody Allen
410	Monsters, Inc.	80.68	85.29	79.37	80.08	2001	Pete Docter, David Silverman
411	The Testament of Dr. Mabuse	80.65	85.85	79.40	79.38	1933	Fritz Lang
412	Downfall	80.64	83.53	81.54	78.55	2004	Oliver Hirschbiegel
413	Being There	80.64	87.30	79.42	78.06	1979	Hal Ashby
414	The Killer	80.63	92.60	79.27	78.66	1989	John Woo
415	My Left Foot: The Story of Christy Brown	80.63	93.23	78.13	79.15	1989	Jim Sheridan
416	Jean de Florette	80.60	88.40	80.18	79.69	1986	Claude Berri
417	The Big Lebowski	80.57	74.80	82.28	78.57	1998	Coen Brothers
418	The King's Speech	80.57	90.86	78.50	78.59	2010	Tom Hooper
419	Whisper of the Heart	80.55	79.98	80.80	80.31	1995	Yoshifumi Kondō
420	E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial	80.54	93.08	77.22	77.82	1982	Steven Spielberg
421	Infernal Affairs	80.54	79.83	79.92	80.22	2002	Andrew Lau, Alan Mak
422	The Prestige	80.54	72.22	82.71	81.38	2006	Christopher Nolan
423	Our Hospitality	80.54	92.85	77.72	79.58	1923	Buster Keaton, John G. Blystone
424	Zootopia	80.53	85.22	78.84	80.18	2016	Byron Howard, Rich Moore
425	Toy Story 2	80.49	92.59	78.51	77.05	1999	John Lasseter, Ash Brannon, Lee Unkrich
426	Klaus	80.48	75.00	81.07	81.41	2019	Sergio Pablos
427	The Big Sleep	80.45	92.10	79.74	77.58	1946	Howard Hawks
428	Ford v Ferrari	80.45	83.94	79.37	80.01	2019	James Mangold
429	Dead Poets Society	80.44	78.70	79.43	80.75	1989	Peter Weir
430	The Terminator	80.43	89.08	78.26	78.13	1984	James Cameron
431	Naked	80.43	84.48	80.39	77.34	1993	Mike Leigh
432	Dangal	80.41	83.00	79.68	80.56	2016	Nitesh Tiwari
433	Kwaidan	80.40	81.80	79.75	79.42	1964	Masaki Kobayashi
434	The Man Who Would Be King	80.40	90.55	78.24	77.79	1975	John Huston
435	Wild Tales	80.38	82.57	80.48	79.22	2014	Damián Szifron
436	Groundhog Day	80.38	80.08	79.31	79.35	1993	Harold Ramis
437	Catch Me If You Can	80.38	83.44	78.74	80.57	2002	Steven Spielberg
438	I Vitelloni	80.36	90.28	77.64	78.06	1953	Federico Fellini
439	The Big Heat	80.35	92.90	79.27	77.87	1953	Fritz Lang
440	The Double Life of Véronique	80.35	82.63	80.19	77.87	1991	Krzysztof Kieślowski
441	Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?	80.35	82.58	80.19	78.43	1966	Mike Nichols
442	Requiem for a Dream	80.33	71.39	81.39	80.93	2000	Darren Aronofsky
443	Rope	80.33	79.20	80.31	79.30	1948	Alfred Hitchcock
444	Love and Death	80.33	89.83	77.55	78.50	1975	Woody Allen
445	The Remains of the Day	80.29	86.88	78.75	78.80	1993	James Ivory
446	Jules and Jim	80.28	93.70	78.30	77.94	1962	François Truffaut
447	The Gospel According to Matthew	80.28	88.30	76.50	78.52	1964	Pier Paolo Pasolini
448	How to Train Your Dragon	80.27	81.97	79.45	80.24	2010	Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois
449	Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2	80.27	88.50	78.81	78.53	2011	David Yates
450	Cat on a Hot Tin Roof	80.26	87.05	79.46	79.79	1958	Richard Brooks
451	The French Connection	80.26	93.35	78.04	76.89	1971	William Friedkin
452	Opening Night	80.25	78.05	80.50	79.25	1977	John Cassavetes
453	Hotel Rwanda	80.24	84.54	79.34	79.40	2004	Terry George
454	4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days	80.22	92.51	77.76	76.22	2007	Cristian Mungiu
455	Tampopo	80.22	92.40	81.20	77.01	1985	Juzo Itami
456	Scarface	80.22	93.50	76.43	79.55	1932	Howard Hawks, Howard Hughes
457	The Face of Another	80.21	87.50	79.61	79.34	1966	Hiroshi Teshigahara
458	The Roaring Twenties	80.21	86.20	77.79	80.68	1939	Raoul Walsh
459	Pickpocket	80.20	93.80	76.41	76.47	1959	Robert Bresson
460	Kiki's Delivery Service	80.20	85.45	79.87	78.84	1989	Hayao Miyazaki
461	A Prophet	80.19	89.61	79.53	76.14	2009	Jacques Audiard
462	Zelig	80.19	90.00	76.50	80.29	1983	Woody Allen
463	Trouble in Paradise	80.18	88.20	79.35	77.62	1932	Ernst Lubitsch
464	Gran Torino	80.17	76.27	78.57	82.36	2008	Clint Eastwood
465	Last Year at Marienbad	80.16	88.25	78.29	77.37	1961	Alain Resnais
466	All the President's Men	80.15	85.95	80.48	76.46	1976	Alan J. Pakula
467	Breaking the Waves	80.15	79.85	78.46	79.55	1996	Lars von Trier
468	Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade	80.14	74.28	81.44	80.57	1989	Steven Spielberg
469	Divorce Italian Style	80.12	91.00	79.28	78.26	1961	Pietro Germi
470	Edward Scissorhands	80.12	78.65	78.09	80.73	1990	Tim Burton
471	The Thing	80.12	67.98	82.60	79.34	1982	John Carpenter
472	Perfect Blue	80.11	74.05	80.91	80.09	1997	Satoshi Kon
473	Down by Law	80.10	79.03	78.98	79.61	1986	Jim Jarmusch
474	Bringing Up Baby	80.10	90.75	78.25	76.45	1938	Howard Hawks
475	The Phantom of Liberty	80.09	85.10	78.89	78.66	1974	Luis Buñuel
476	Bonnie and Clyde	80.07	85.38	78.16	78.23	1967	Arthur Penn
477	The Incredibles	80.07	89.69	79.77	75.78	2004	Brad Bird
478	Rocky	80.04	79.73	79.17	79.29	1976	John G. Avildsen
479	His Girl Friday	80.03	94.15	79.24	76.72	1940	Howard Hawks
480	Mommy	80.03	80.79	80.39	79.13	2014	Xavier Dolan
481	Mon Oncle	80.03	88.00	78.03	78.76	1958	Jacques Tati
482	My Fair Lady	79.99	91.85	77.53	78.00	1964	George Cukor
483	Charade	79.98	85.55	79.37	78.72	1963	Stanley Donen
484	Stalag 17	79.95	87.13	79.62	77.79	1953	Billy Wilder
485	Boyhood	79.95	97.08	76.08	75.95	2014	Richard Linklater
486	The Secret in Their Eyes	79.95	82.49	81.27	77.67	2009	Juan José Campanella
487	Ninotchka	79.95	90.15	77.99	78.50	1939	Ernst Lubitsch
488	Pierrot le Fou	79.94	81.75	77.84	76.65	1965	Jean-Luc Godard
489	The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser	79.94	89.10	78.30	78.27	1974	Werner Herzog
490	Stroszek	79.94	88.40	79.50	77.77	1977	Werner Herzog
491	A Hard Day's Night	79.93	93.73	76.82	77.08	1964	Richard Lester
492	Onibaba	79.90	74.75	79.42	79.96	1964	Kaneto Shindo
493	Repulsion	79.85	92.68	77.29	76.57	1965	Roman Polanski
494	Like Stars on Earth	79.85	80.50	79.54	79.86	2007	Aamir Khan, Amole Gupte
495	Duck Soup	79.84	92.33	79.01	74.92	1933	Leo McCarey
496	Carlito's Way	79.83	70.28	79.16	82.01	1993	Brian De Palma
497	Nashville	79.82	93.23	76.89	74.92	1975	Robert Altman
498	The Triplets of Belleville	79.82	88.97	76.57	78.66	2003	Sylvain Chomet
499	Dr. Mabuse the Gambler	79.81	85.10	76.88	79.98	1922	Fritz Lang
500	Gone Girl	79.79	83.03	79.32	78.87	2014	David Fincher

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